WTF Shojo: Why Scissors and Ballsacs Don’t Make a Good Combination

As promised, a WTF Shojo post :3 The title of the one-shot featured today is called Sayonara Kodomotachi or “Good-bye Children” by Morie Satoshi.

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(Although I think “Good-Bye My Balls” would have mad a more appropriate title, but that’s just me)

The story opens with some people remarking about how someone named “Miki” has arrived on the scene and how fortunate it is for this “Asahi” person that Miki is here. The next panel shows two girls talking and giving us a feeling that nothing messed up is going to be happening in the next 20 pages.

“It was all because I became an adult before you.”

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Miki is a rich girl. Asahi is a kid who lives at a Home. Despite their different pasts and ages, both seek friendship in the other’s company. We turn the page and see Miki asking Asahi wtf happened to her. We see that Asahi has shit-like goo in her hair, a bloody bruise on her cheek, and her dress is torn to the point of exposing a good portion of her undershirt. Asahi shrugs off her friend’s concern for her disheveled appearance and instead holds out her hands to Miki. Inside her cupped fingers is a barrette with a plastic flower attached at the end. Asahi saved up all her money to buy the $0.99 hair accessory from Target’s $1 bargain bin. The reason? It’s a B-Day gift. Miki is 14 years old today! ( ु⚈᷁௰⚈᷁ ू)

Rather than care about why her friend looks like she just escaped from a rape, Miki instead thinks of a comment Arashi said awhile back about how adult Miki is compared to her (<-bc this is totally what I do when I see my friends walking around with bruises and ripped to shit clothing – flashback on random conversations we had. Because asking questions makes too much sense ( ̄——- ̄)). Touched by her friend’s actions, Miki pulls Asahi into her arms and squeezes the shit out of her…again, not caring that maybe Asahi might have some other bruises other than the one bleeding out her cheek (and whatever is oozing in her hair). But all is good because Asahi herself doesn’t care about her own injuries. She’s more concerned about getting Miki dirty with her own life fluids gushing from her wounds.

Spotting some of her said fluids on Miki’s hand, Asahi decides to clean them with her tongue, because that’s what friends do. Lick each other. True. Friendship.

Miki freaks because hey, why the hell are you licking my hand little girl?

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Before any words can be said (like WTF???”) someone calls out to Miki. We see a man in the distance bowing to the girls. Next to him is a car. Asahi instantly freaks and clings to Miki. Miki tells the shorty that he’s keeping his distance so there’s no need for excited tits. Miki needed to be picked up, thus the reason for the man and the car. Dur. Asahi infers “need a car to drive me like 3 blocks home” to “dying of cancer.” She calls out to Miki who is walking to the car and asks if Miki is hurt or something (uh, I think that question is better directed at you, small child with the visible physical injuries ( ᵌ ⍨ ᵌ ) ). Miki just smiles like all shojo people do when they’re hiding something and tells Asahi there’s nothing to worry about. Peace.

Inside the car, Miki mumbles about how she’s finally getting used to wearing skirts. She then starts to unbutton her shirt, commenting about how the fake boobs are still another story. The driver in the car tells Miki that even though she looks like a girl already, the fake boobs are a nice touch in times where Asahi might be pressed up against Miki’s chest. We see the driver’s face is red, either from Miki’s strip show or:

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Because of Miki’s balls are hanging out to dry (any boy who sits like this while in a skirt is going to have some slippage happenin’).

Yup. Ladies and gents, Miki’s a dude. And his real name is Haruyoshi. Hence dem fake knockers.

So what would lead a girly boy like Haruyoshi to don women’s clothing? Does he like the breeze he feels in between his legs?  The reason started 2 years ago. Haruyoshi’s dad I guess owns the Home Asahi lives at and he was doing a daily visit of some sorts because I guess that’s what you do? Haruyoshi tagged along because I guess that’s what you do too? Bring your kid to Homes to show them how fortunate they are? *shrugs* Upon seeing him, the headmistress of the place squirts her juices all over her panties. She remarks how beautiful Haruyoshi is and how just looking at him can make a person happy…wink wink. Thankfully Haruyoshi  has perfected the art of having no shits to give and isn’t even bothering with the lady or her creamy underwear. He walks away (lol), thinking that if just by looking at him can give people happiness, then happiness is an easy thing to get. Something tugs on his shirt, stopping Haruyoshi. He looks down to see a little girl holding on to him. While the worker who was watching the girl freaks, Haruyoshi is like, whatever. He goes with the girl to the play area and they push a giant ball back and forth.

As they play, Haruyoshi  informs us readers about some intel on the girl (Asahi) he’s with. Supposedly when she was younger, she was abused by her father to the point where she has grown a fear of all men. Apparently she must have mistaken Haruyoshi for a girl and thus isn’t freaking out. Looking at her, Haruyoshi remarks on how you could never tell what kind of past she had.

Haruyoshi’s dad comes is and is like, sup son? He could have come in without his pants on and still elicit the same freak out from Asahi. She grabs onto Haruyoshi and screams forgiveness and begs not to be beaten. Her screams start to go all crazy until finally she pees all over Haruyoshi.

(◉◞౪◟◉ ) …did this just happen? In a shojo?

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It was like someone took a gallon of milk and upturned it, that’s how much urine this girl’s bladder dispensed. Rather than freak out (because he hasn’t thus far so why start now?), Haruyoshi starts to monologue…like how he did earlier when he saw Asahi in her possible post rape state. Nice to see fucks being given. He thinks how this little girl is clinging to him yet isn’t being assuaged by her fears. That’s like total rejection right there. (the hell, Haruyoshi? I think we have bigger things here than your bruised ego, man). The headmistress lady and some random person apologize to Haruyoshi about being peed on like a lamppost and call Asahi to them (yeah guys, because in the state she is right now, she’ll totally just get up and come over :/). Haruyoshi tells them to have several seats but before that, to bring him a towel (I think a shower and new clothes would have been better but that’s just me).

“If I can bring happiness to someone…then let it be this girl. I’m fine if I can only make her happy.”

Dad: ಠ_ಠ *crosses off Haruyoshi’s name on his will*

Since that day, Haruyoshi has been visiting the Home in drag. He even grew his hair out for the part (yes Haruyoshi, we can tell. Thanks for pointing that out though! ^^;). He did all of this so he could be with Asahi but…

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We’re brought back to the present as we see Haruyoshi collapsed in the backseat, in pain.

“There is something going on that I myself have no control over.”

OMG guys is he…

“Puberty.”

ಠ_ಠ

Haruyoshi is going through growing pains. Thus why he’s passed out and in pain.

ಠ_ಠ

Son…if you’re crying this hard over growing taller, imagine that plus a vagina that bleeds every month and sometimes feels like killing you slowly on top of that…fucking pussy.

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Not only is Haruyoshi developing into a real boy, but so is his penis. His mind starts to think about Asahi. He remembers her dress torn so he could see her under garments (IS THAT THE REASON WHY YOU DIDN’T QUESTION HER STATE!? YOU WERE TOO BUSY LOOKING AT HER 8 YEAR OLD NO-BOOBS!?). He remembers the way she licked his hand (me: (;꒪ꈊ꒪;))). The next panel shows him as a beast on top of her. Haruyoshi wakes up to realize he was dreaming…and guys, it took me a few reads to figure this out, but…I think our young Mr. Haruyoshi had his first wet dream. I thought at first he like…whacked it a few times because why else in the next panel would there be a stream of liquid coming out, even if the liquid is falling the wrong way? Then I thought he threw up but no one throws up that pretty, even in shojo. THEN I realized that the liquid is hitting his bed sheets. His expression in the panel before and the close up of his hand on his sheets in the next panel finally deduced it for me. Boy got them sheets all nice and creamy…over an 8 year old.

( Д ) ゚ ゚ (SHOCK) Another shojo violation…wet dreams.

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The next day…or whenever, Haruyoshi is in his girl disguise with Asahi. Asahi asks if Haruyoshi is doing better. In concern, the little girl puts her hand on Haruyoshi’s. However, Haruyoshi rips his hand away from hers (understandable…seeing as how he nutted his pajamas earlier) . Yeah, he’s doing great. Thanks. Asahi tells Haruyoshi she wishes she could take on Haruyoshi/Miki’s problem. Haruyoshi/Miki has always been there for her. Asahi doesn’t care about the pain because whenever Asahi was in pain, Miki was there to hold her tight and stay by her. Thus Asahi wants to repay Miki’s kindness and take Miki’s pain onto herself.

As Haruyoshi watches the little girl cry over him, he realizes that he doesn’t want to lose Asahi. He doesn’t want to part from her. He’d do anything to stay with her. Anything.

And thus this explains why he’s sitting naked in his shower, holding a pair of scissors over his nuts.

(((; ఠ ਉ ఠ))

…what am I reading?

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He reckons if he snaps them balls off, he won’t go through puberty, he can remain a girl boy, and he’ll be able to stay with Asahi under the ruse of Miki FOREVER. Hey, if the Eunuch could do it, so could he (I had to dictionary.com “eunuch” because I was like, wtf Haruyoshi and Midori (the translation app I use). Eunuch? Basically dudes who had their nuts whacked off and were powerful mofos…so I guess somehow them having powers but no balls is supposed to help Haruyoshi go through with cutting off his own breadstick).

Haruyoshi’s hands are trembling as he steadies himself to do the deed. He starts to think that it’d be so much better had he and Asahi been the same age. They could have grown up together and experience adulthood side by side. If life had only been that kind, he wouldn’t be in his current state – crouched down in the bathroom with a pair of fucking scissors over his boom boom stick.

That said, he lifts his weapon and –

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6 years later.

It is the 6th year anniversary of Haruyoshi’s passing. By the time he was discovered in the bathroom, it was too late. There was too much blood loss. Neither he nor his balls could be saved. No one ever figured out why he did it, only that it must have really hurt…

In actuality, we’re not attending his funeral. Instead we’re sitting in a car in front of the Home Asahi lives at. The driver asks his passenger if the individual isn’t going to go in? Driver: we do this every year and we just sit here all creepy. I’m surprised we haven’t been questioned by the cops yet. I mean, 6 years? 6. I think this needs to stop.

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We teleport into the Home where the headmistress is chillin at her desk. Someone enters her office. It’s Asahi, now 14 and hopefully not peeing on people no more. Turns out the reason Asahi was summoned was because someone wants to adopt her! Yay! It’s this wonderful fatherly man right here:

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Doesn’t he look just 100% rated G? Like he totally wouldn’t feel you up? The headmistress tries to sell him like he’s the greatest thing ever (because he has dem dollars) but we all know he’s creepy and looking for a little kid to “play” with. I mean, who sweats when looking at a girl like that?

Perverts, that’s who.

Asahi’s creeper senses tingle and she gets her pigeon toes out of there. Or at least she tries. Creeper makes a grab for her but is stopped when someone intervenes…via a swift kick to where I’m guessing is the creeper’s balls? Asahi looks up at her savior and instant memories of Miki come flooding back. No way!

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She cries out Miki’s name and grabs at the individual. However, the person she’s grabbed onto isn’t Miki. In fact, it’s just a girly dude. (it’s Haruyoshi in case I was too vague with the description lol). He freaks at the sight of Asahi and pushes her away dramatically before running to the toilets to toss his cookies. Asahi is just looking at the doorway he ran to in confusion. He comes in, saves me, and then barfs. Um?

Another man enters the scene and tells Asahi not to worry. Haruyoshi got dah fear of dem germs…amongst other problems.

(I guess Asahi overcame her fear of men because she’s not wetting herself over the appearance of Haruyoshi’s driver)

We learn that, in the end, Haruyoshi didn’t pinch off his almonds. He realized that he wanted to be by Arashi’s side…as a man with functioning testicles. It’s at this point I realized that Haruyoshi is lolicon because he was 14 and she 8…no.

“The thing keeping me from being with her wasn’t the change happening to my body…it was the change occurring in my heart.” (basically, he grew up and realized he wanted to do some spanky spanky with her)

However, realizing he was going to become a dude as he grew, he decided to keep his distance because Asahi is afraid of dudes.

We return to the present. Haruyoshi is chucking that vomit and crying like a man denied his football. In comes Asahi who offers Haruyoshi a handkerchief to wipe off his barf. Haruyoshi looks at Asahi in shock, most likely because she hasn’t gone bat shit crazy and urinating despite him being a man. Then he starts to cry even more.

“I became an adult before you. And one day, you too will become an adult like me.” (barfing into toilets and reminiscing about how you almost cut off your testicles)

The end.image (17)

Well, how’d everyone like the story? My favorite part was the WTF…oh wait, that was everything. From Haruyoshi cross dressing, to no one blinking over why Asahi had the disheveled state in the beginning of the chapter to Haruyoshi actually contemplating whacking his man friend off to the realization that Haruyoshi likes little kids…it was all one giant wtf. Ah, but it’s stories like this entertain me so much ~ It’s nice to have something different every now and then.

I’ll keep my eyes open on anymore WTF shojo I encounter. There’s another one in this edition of the The Hana to Yume magazine I want to write about in the future ~ :3

11 thoughts on “WTF Shojo: Why Scissors and Ballsacs Don’t Make a Good Combination

  1. Michi…why was I so disappointed that he actually didn’t cut off his mansack? But anyway, that was quite an amusing WTF shojo entry. I think the age difference didn’t bother me as much because I misread it the first time around that he was 14 years older instead of being 14 years old. So I thought, “OOOOH 14 years old. So he wasn’t 22 when he wanked off to an eight year old….wait….No that’s still terrible.”

    Shojo getting more creative every day. Could you imagine a 14 year old reading this?

    • Lol Cree. Maybe because you wanted something different from the usual? Gotta admit – cutting off one own’s ballsac is definitely unique. Just like that one oneshot I told you about where the girl hung her BFF’s dead body from a tree using the noose she was reserving for herself and walked off into the sunset wearing his bloody clothes. It’s different. Fucked up but different lol.

      Ahhh, see I didn’t pay attention to the age difference until I started writing this entry. When I got to the part about him being turned on by an 8 year, that’s when it struck me – omg, this dude is a lolicon!!!
      14 or 22…don’t care the age, you should not be aroused by a kid :/ it’s just creepy. Gahhhh.

      I READ THIS AND THOUGHT, WHY!? WHAT MORALS ARE YOU TRYING TO PASS ON TO THE NEXT GENERATION? SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LOSE SOMETHING CLOSE TO YOU TO BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE – LIKE YOUR BALLS!

      We should be English critics and try to analyze the story. Why did the main character choose to cross-dress to be with her? It can be explained by the lack of a father in his life. Ex. how did his father not say anything about his son dressing in drag and going to visit an 8 year old? It’s because he was too busy with work. His son tried to fill that void with an 8 year old. However, it’s possible that his love for the 8 year old was actual a ruse to cover the love he truly felt for his father…the kind of love that a son shouldn’t have for his father…this can all be explained by the barfing…

      (I love when people try to analyze a story when it’s probably not that serious lol)

      • Unique does paint a brighter picture….until you realize the picture is made of feces.

        Apparently the author knows how fucked up the world is and has used it for inspiration. You see similar stories on the news.

        Everybody has different morals. It’s all a matter of having the right people agree with your morals that determine which morals are to be upheld. I’d like to think people would use fiction for good instead of getting terrible ideas. I’m sure most guys would treasure their jewels. But there are quite a number of people who use fiction as an okay to do horrible things. @_@

        xD Main character crossdresses for his father in mind leads to a dark road (wow, had a typo that read ‘crossdresses WITH his father’ haha). A lot of characters obsessed with love have a bunch of issues that most of the time are romanticized. Just because those characters are somewhat good looking. >_<

      • But what if the feces fluoresces, Cree? Or glows when placed in water (saw something that like in a store. It’s this lamp that turns on when placed in water. How that works, I cannot explain, but if you ever wanted to bathe with a bunch of glowing plastic lamp jellyfish and not have to worry about stings that can only be calmed by the urination of an old man, then your dream has come true). Then the picture is brighter, albeit stinky and plain wrong :P (and worth millions)

        Dude, the news is so depressing. It’s like, you go in thinking, okay it can’t be any worse than yesterday’s news, and somehow it is. I read an article recently about this crazy couple that kept their four children in an apartment covered in trash and cat poop. The kids couldn’t communicate except for growls and grunts. What’s even more disgusting is the couple had their other three kids taken from them. Why these four children were not taken…only the social workers know.
        Japanese news is a mixture of depression, wtf, and why? I still remember the guy that got his nuts chopped off and served it to people to make some money off his balls. I’m an adventurous person but man balls? No.

        Fiction is an interesting genre. You can use it to teach lessons or you can use it to mentally fuck people over. Then there are those that use fiction to play out the “what if’s…” What if I ran over this person for not giving me a good tip? What if I take the risk instead of holding back? WHAT IF ALL WE’VE KNOWN IS A LIEEEEEEEEEEEE DON’T TOUCH THE DONUT, CREE! IT KNOWS ALL AND IT KNOWS HOW TO SAVE YOU, AS LONG AS YOU DON’T EAT IT AND POOP IT OUT AND ADD IT TO THE PICTURE TO MAKE IT BRIGHTER D8

        OMG, what if he did crossdress with his father!? (we’re never told what happened to dad…he just like…was there only in the beginning). Because it turns out his father…is his mother!
        This revelation mentally destroyed the main character. His father…his mother? Then who was his father? Is he his own father? Or is the main character…the mother? DUN DUN DUNNNN!?
        This drives the main character to obsess over the little girl because he sees himself in her…and since he’s his own parents, he feel attracted to her because this story is just wrong.

        “A lot of characters obsessed with love have a bunch of issues that most of the time are romanticized. Just because those characters are somewhat good looking. >_<"

        Quasimodo: ಠ_ಠ

        But yeah, pretty people. You'd think they'd have it good but nope, not in the stories. Usually a dirty old man is involved and yeah….like all those korean shojos you read Cree! How many of the male leads been sexually molested by an old man or whored out?

  2. Yay, some new posts have spawned while I wasn’t looking. :D
    Damn at this shoujo. I’ve read some stuff from this author and apart from the beautiful art, there’s hardly anything else going for her. I think she went way out of her league trying to do a “psychological” story like this one. He should have just cut his own jewels, if he can’t even take growing pains he’s not worthy of them anyways. (His father would totally agree with me on this point I imagine :P)
    About that Aria post, just wow, I read a few titles from there but seriously, weird shit’s been going on in that magazine. It seems like its target audience is a bit older than, say, hana to yume so I guess that’s not really strange. The art of most titles there is, however, amazing. I’d be totally buying the magazine if I had the money to spend on it probably, since stuff like that entertains me to no end.
    Anyways, glad to see work is treating you well and weirdos are not as attracted to you as they are to other passers-by. :D I made a big move myself lately, but I already lived in a city so I’m pretty much used to it. Except for the language. I never had any experience learning this one. Damn, I’ll never get to learn Japanese at this pace. ;_;

    • (I’m not completely dead on this blog haha!)

      This is the first title I’ve ever read anything from this particular manga-ka. I agree. I like her art but damn, dat plot. D:
      Lol, I don’t think I’ve ever read a manga where the guy cuts off his own balls himself. It’s usually because someone else did the deed. I’m not sure if slashing off ones balls would actually make you more of a man despite missing the man bits…nah, it’d just make you dumb haha :P

      Aria is interesting. It’s got a lot of wtf in it. A nice change of pace from my eye candy fluff in Sylph. A variety is nice. Plus, I love reading unique things (as this post shows). The crazier the story, the more entertaining a write up I can post ^^

      Thank you :) Things are slowly getting together!
      Hoho! You’ve moved as well? Do you have family where you live? I came here solo not knowing a thing here. It was so scary because if I got locked out of my apartment, it’s like…who could I call on for help? Or if I go stuck somewhere? o__o
      Now I’ve got friends who I can rely on :) (I hope I’m reliable to them too haha!)
      I hope you’re doing well at your new place :)

      I’m actually planning on taking some Japanese classes in the spring. I recently found a place that has classes in the evening. It’s not at a college – no tests and grades. It’s more like…one of those classes you take to practice and meet others. I’m hoping it’s fun!
      I really want to take some painting classes too but baby steps ^^
      I’m sure if you look around, you’ll find something 8D The only reason I found out about these classes is because of a local Japanese magazine I grabbed at a Japanese convenient store :) (my dad was the one that grabbed it and showed me. I’ve been using that as my basis for doing things on the weekend ahaha :D)

      Hope the winds are blowing in your favor ~ (random pirate saying – I just got a pirate ship in the video game I’m playing :P)

  3. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I was seriously laughing out loud while reading this, right till the end. Yeah, I was also disappointed that the guy didn’t cut his balls off and die… You’re right, stuff like these are always good for a laugh for a short while and then burn to ashes because of the terrible message they give. But maybe it isn’t such a bad message, that you should cut your balls off (and maybe die) if you find yourself jerking off to little 8-year-olds? Lols. Also I always find it infinitely funny when manga exaggerates puberty, like it’s a huge calamity that comes upon you. Anyway, this was a really funny and entertaining post!

    • Haha! I love the consensus here – WHY’D YOU HESITATE!? CUT DEM NUTS OFF BOY! xD

      “But maybe it isn’t such a bad message, that you should cut your balls off (and maybe die) if you find yourself jerking off to little 8-year-olds?”

      OMG, maybe that WAS the message the manga-ka was going for??? I like that idea. Makes the reason for this oneshot a lot more…positive, in a way xD

      I agree with the puberty thing. I was like, calm down son. It’s not that bad. We all survived it, and you’re lucky. You just have to worry about unintentional third arm salutes and creaming yourself. Girls, they got it worse. They bleed. BLEED. And then their vajayjays start to punch themselves…because why not? So shut up, boy.

      I’m glad you liked the post :D I missed writing up a wtf shojo ~ thank you The Hana to Yume ^^ Please continue to give us more crazy stuff.

  4. Very late, I know. Anyways, just to let you know, 6 years is not really that big an age gap. My dad is 6 years older tha my mom. That means, dad was 2nd year incollege and mom was a freshman high schooler.

    • If the age gap is between older people, that’s fine. As long as both are consenting adults.
      I have a problem when the love interest in question is friggin eight…if you find a child sexually appealing…no man… Dx
      I’m glad Haruyoshi realized his issues and separated himself from Asahi until she got older (though spying on her for 6 years was kinda weird…)

      Then again, this was a super messed up oneshot to begin with so…\_(ツ)_/¯

      • That’s true. I forgot to write about that. Age gap narrows as they grow older. But it’s wrong to like an elementary school kid in a romantic way if the guy is like in college.

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