Tid-Bits: Shounen Oujo 15

Gasp! Is that Shounen Oujo I see!?

Deeper and Deeper I fall…

The chapter begins…with Gii’s butt. Well…okay, no. The butt shows up 2 panels later. It actually starts out with this:

“ALBERT!”

The cross dresser in question opens his eyes in surprise. And man, Albert’s face is really awkward because it’s all blushy and sweaty like he just woke up from a wet dream >____> ummmmm? Shounen Oujo manga-ka what are you implying? In the next panel we see Gii’s rear sticking in the air…also a bit awkward because…it’s a butt! But (lol) the reason for the gluts is because Gii is leaning over Albert’s bed to look at the drag queen. Relieved, Gii smiles at Albert, happy to see him awake. When asked about what Gii screamed out one page ago, Gii gets all tsundere and is like, I screamed for ice cream…I didn’t scream your name, baka. (ｏ`皿′ｏ) Think that poison fucked you up, bro.

Naturally Albert is like, poison, what? (・o・)

Gii explains that when Albert got nicked with Little Man Bitch’s knife (didn’t he say arrow in the previous chapter?), it turned out the blade had been coated with some kind of poison. The next panel shows Albert with his left leg hiked up to illustrate where the nick had been in case you didn’t read chapter 14. Thank you Albert for the thigh service.

Albert: ʘ‿ʘ My legs are sexy and I know it ~ <3

The mystery of why he was out solved, Albert then asks the next logical question: uh…where are we?

Gii: WE’RE ON A BOAT, MOTHERFUCKER!!!! (reference to a song on Saturday Night Live)

Specifically, a pirate ship (￣(エ)￣)

Albert: skljak;ltjaklgjklak;gjklfgji WHAT!? How did we go from me pretending to be a princess to us now traveling with pirates!? щ(ಥДಥщ)

Gii: Your friend is a pirate.

Albert: *face palm* …really, Theo? A pirate? A thug of the sea?

Gii: And he’s part of some kind of pirate gang.

Albert: *face smash*…what has time done to us, Theo? You’re a gangster in tights and I’m pretending to be a dead chick. Where did we go wrong in life? (ノ´＿ゝ｀）ノ

When you were chosen to be the hero of a shojo, Albert.

The next couple of pages serve as a refresher to what’s been happening in the Shounen Oujo world in case you forgot or just joined in with this chapter. Basically, Olivie – another wee wee in a skirt – caused some crazy shit to happen. And that’s all you need to know. By the time we get to the end of the explanation, Gii is ready to kick some ass. He starts flipping out but is stopped from going too nuts when Albert takes a hold of his hands in order to calm his tits.

However, Gii is a tsundere so he’s like, get your mitts off me, ho ಠ_ಠ He tells Albert what the situation needs is its princess.

Him: Albert…do you not remember me spending the majority of volume #2 trying to get you to be a woman? And I also told you I would hang your male self from a chandelier and beat him with a sharp stick but enough of that.

Again, Albert is conflicted. Yeah, he agreed to be Alexia’s replacement but shit hasn’t been going right since then.

Before Albert can answer, Theo comes busting in. I love the fact that his arms are angled so he looks like he’s pretending to be a plane xD Theo is giddy with anticipation to see if his friend is alright but is stopped cold when he sees Gii holding Albert by the wrist (wtf…when did Gii grab Albert’s hands).

Theo: Da fuq, guys. We no gay here.

Gii: I’m not gay! I’m a pedophile. Get your terms right, boy! >:U

The two pass off their awkward situation as Gii checking Albert’s pulse (what?). Thankfully Theo is slow so he buys it. He’s more interested in hanging with his BFF anyway. In fact, he actually pushes Gii to the side so he can talk to Albert xD Theo: You’ve had your time, now it’s mine! Turns out Gii kicked everyone out the moment Albert’s dying organ sac was placed in the room they’re currently in so Theo wasn’t able to check up on Albert. Albert tries to thank Theo but Gii, not liking to be ignored, butts his butt face into the conversation. He grabs Theo by the ear and tells the bishi to stop being all gheyz with Albert/Alexia. Albert/Alexia is royalty, not some common ho. Theo can’t speak to “her” as if they were buds. Of course, Theo ain’t taking no ear pinching shiz from some pedo ghey dude. Theo smacks Gii off him and is all, dude, chill. He comments about how Gii hasn’t changed since “back then.” Theo then offers some much appreciated man service by opening his shirt. Note he’s doing this not to air out his nipples but because he wants to show off the huge scar across his chest. “This wound was given to me by “that other” Alexia-sama.” Upon seeing the old wound and hearing Theo’s words, Gii’s memory suddenly puts everything into place.

Gii: SWEET JESUS YOU WERE THAT KID FROM BACK THEN MY GOD WHAT DID YOU EAT SON HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SO BISHI!? ━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)

Theo grabs Gii from behind (lol why xD) and is like, STFU dude you want everyone to find out!? Then, since they’re in a really ghey looking position, Theo takes this moment to whisper reallllllll close to Gii’s face that if Gii messes with Albert, Theo will shank Gii…thug style. And he’ll steal Gii’s sneakers. And rape him. Because that’s how pirates roll.

When we pirates make threats, we like to do it like this. Because we’re near our foe’s booty. And we pirates like the booty <3

Gii does some kind of twirl and faces Theo, a sword in hand (where that sword came from, I have no idea. He had no sword on him when we got that butt shot in the beginning of the chapter). He pretty much says the same thing to Theo – you tell anyone about the fact Albert is a dick in a dress, and someone here with a fetish for showing off his hairless chest will end up dickless. Before the two can compare penis sizes, Nikora walks in. After telling the boys they need to STFU, she says this is a good time to meet with the ship’s captain.

Albert: But didn’t we meet him last time? He wanted to leave our asses on the shore to die…that guy, right?

Uh, no Albert.

That was the boss pirate’s…bitch. This is the boss pirate:

Yeah, he exploded stuff into his face. Not the smartest of pirates but he must be a true thug to be the boss pirate right?

…

Right?

Ahem. Let’s see. Albert tries to thank the boss pirate for his help but Gii cuts in. He tells the pirates thanks for the help but don’t expect anything in return. Also, give the ship to them. Lol, wtf Gii what is wrong with you why don’t you think!?

Boss Pirate: …pirates are going to be obsolete soon.

Gii:

Uh…what?

Boss pirate talks about how pirates will go extinct like dodos because coal is the new thing to power ships and yeah. …not sure why he brought this up but coal…gonna put a lot of pirates out of a job.

Anyway, before we can ask why the hell are we talking about carbonized plant matter, two people come in. Boss Pirate introduces them. Because why not? Dude that looks like Bob Dylan is Ricardo. The other person with him is Minetto. Albert decides to pull a Boss Pirate and asks if the pirates run on a penis based promotion system.

Boss Pirate: And here I thought I was random talking about coal! No dude….we’re all about hard work = promotion. What? Just because we’re pirates, you think we’re all after each other’s booty? Jeez, stereotype much. I mean, look. Minetto is a girl. She’s doing pretty good for herself.

Albert: oh shit what omg she does have tits!

Pirate Boss goes on to say balls or boobs don’t have any say on this ship. It’s all about hard work and guts. Also, the pirates have a policy:

“We don’t refuse those that come and we don’t chase after those who leave ~”

Thus Albert and Gii are free to join the crew but as long as they’re on the ship, they’re going to be put to work. Those who don’t work don’t eat!

THAT’S FUCKING LIE! THOSE THAT WORK GET THEIR MONEY STOLEN BY UNCLE SAM AND HAVE TO DIG IN THE TRASH FOR THEIR MEAL!!! щ(ಥДಥщ)   

And so that is why the next panel shows Albert crying as he cuts some onions. The chef lady who I just now noticed is sporting a peg leg (true pirate here, guys. Not some pansy pretty boy like Boss Pirate) complements Albert on his ability to chop up an onion.

Her: Didn’t know rich people even knew how to cut up an onion let alone put their pants on in the morning without their servants!

Albert thinks in his head that the only reason he knows how to do battle with an onion is because of Martha. Thinking of Martha gets Albert depressed. He wonders how his old caretaker is doing since the last time he saw her? Well…he doesn’t have long to drown in sorrow because someone shouts CATCH DAT PIG! Albert breaks out of his memories to look and sure enough a friggin pig is charging towards him.

Not sure what happens but Albert ends up princess style in Theo’s arms. If you look at the panels, it’s almost like Albert did this (because any other way just doesn’t make sense):

Regardless of Albert’s gravity defying stunt, the end conclusion is that Albert is currently being held like the girl he’s pretending to be. Rather than be all omfg doki doki, Albert is greatly depressed by how unmanly he is xD But then he starts laughing about the whole situation. Theo may have grown muscles but he’s still a dumbass :) (yeah, I lol-ed at that xD). Nikora is in shadows (how long has she been there!?) and is not happy about seeing Theo and Albert being all ghey buddy buddy with each other.

We scene shift to Gii who is walking in some hall. He looks down to see a pig walk by and he’s like, whut? ಠ_ಠ  Doing the most logical thing, he grabs the pig and starts walking around with it xD What!? He then gets to the kitchen where he sees Albert and a bunch of people still lol-ing at Albert’s dumbass comment. Gii gets a Nikora face and I can’t tell if it’s because he feels left out or if he feels guilty about Albert’s crossdressing situation or…don’t know. What I do know is that pig looks like he wants to be Gii’s friend xD A very…close friend ;D

Look at that pig. It looks like a fan girl after getting up close to her idol xD Pig: I…I don’t know how to react in this situation. I’m afraid for this moment to end…let me drool after you from the corner here, my sweet prince <3

The chapter ends with Martha putting some of her wards to bed. They complain about how it’s not even night out but Martha tells the kids to STFU. At night, the men roam. Be scared, girls. Be scared.

End!

My goodness it’s been awhile since I’ve done a proper summary :3 Thanks everyone for being patient with me as I get my life back into order! Don’t know when the next chapter will be out but it will be…eventually xD