Hot on the heels of Love Jossie #5 is #6 :D Heck yeah, making progress, peeps!
Where #5 was pretty much floating face down in the water, #6 started to get its spark of weird back. If only cuz the lady that did that mind fuck in issue #3 returned here to pee in the waters a bit haha. Her piece in #6 is no where as messed up as the one in #3 but it’s still weird and unhealthy…
As I’m writing this, there are now 9 volumes of Love Jossie out there. Hot damn! Glad to see the magazine is still hanging in there!!
But then again, how many volumes did Millefeui and Comic@loid get before going under?
Maybe I shouldn’t throw the confetti yet until we get to the double digits? Like I mentioned in issue #5, there had been a lull between the release of #4 and #5 to the point where I thought the magazine had been cancelled. But nope. Where there is smut, there is a way!
Before we start, I just want to say this tea I’m drinking tastes like ashy dirt. The hell David’s Tea. What part of this is supposed to be Chocolate Orange? It literally should be called “Smoked Dreams in an Ashtray” cuz there is no chocolate or orange here, only the taste of used cigarettes and crushed belief…
Otouto no Torisetsu (The Users Manual on Little Brothers) – O___O wow that’s an awkward translation. This little brother is at least 18. Legal, but extremely horny for his older sister apparently. The story starts out with main chick returning home after being gone for a year (she’s a college student not a runaway FYI). She enters her house to find an unknown grown ass man walking around in his tightie whities, drying his hair off. He smiles at her and tells her “welcome back.” She in turn screams and runs out of the house. Understandable because unknown man x tightie whities. She rushes over to check the name plate and to verify the house she entered was indeed hers. It is. Then who…?
Turns out he’s her step brother. Long ago mom remarried a guy with a kid, who became the main chick’s new brother. And let me tell you, puberty hit his ass just right because he went from feminine choir boy to beef cake. Main chick is very conscious of this, not only because her younger brother is now sporting abs tough enough to exfoliate with but cuz she has man drama. See, the reason she never visited home was cuz she had gotten herself a boyfriend in college. However, when they tried to play “stick your penis in my lady parts” it didn’t end well and they ended up breaking up. And apparently when your bed game is shit, you don’t get to go home to visit the family on the holidays o__O; (*shrugs). Little brother is very happy to have his sister back. So happy he sticks his tongue down her throat the second they’re alone.
Main girl: ???????????
I could type more but really why bother since it’s going to lead all down to one common theme in smut – dah grind. After flipping out throat cleaning, stuff happens and 25 pages later they’re making out on his bed. Main girl tells the brother she’s not sure she wants to continue because she’s bad at the bed beat game but little bro tells her to leave it to him. See he got himself a girlfriend for the explicit purpose of learning how to pleasure a woman, specifically the main girl. Once he mastered the art and got his pink belt, he dumped that chick’s ass and played the waiting game for sis to come back…
Him: *groin thrusts proudly*
And yeah…they go all the way and back and then do it again, the main girl shocked the experience is great, not shitty like with her old dude. The end.
Game ~ Suits no Sukima – for once there is more story then sex scenes. Main dude gets sick and the main chick is like…should I visit him or should I wait until I see his name in the obituaries? She goes (cuz otherwise there’d be no point to this chapter) and she finds herself wavering in her resolve to not fall in love.
Fureru Kaoru – uh, excuse me but where are the other 30 pages missing from this short? Seriously, this better have been Mockingbird-ed because nothing happened in this short. We’re introduced to the main chick who works at her grandfather’s used bookstore because she can’t people and loves books. Then you have the main guy who has a super strong sense of smell and works for a perfume (I guess?) company. He’s trying to make a fragrance to replicate “first love”.
The story starts with the main guy sniffing/making out with some lady and telling us readers what she smells like. Which was really weird. But ok Japan whatever. Her sex scent isn’t what he’s looking for so he puts his dick back into his underwear and leaves.
(which makes me question what kind of scent he’s going for with “first love” – we talking the shojo flowers and sparkles, or are we talking the first time making love – with like, the fluids and shit?)
He then tells us readers how he found a book on his shelf and remembered the girl he borrowed it from. This is what leads the main guy to appear at the bookstore the main girl works out (how did he know where to find her? o__O;). He gives her the book and she’s thoroughly confused. When he asks if he can sniff her, she is understandably even more confused and grabbing for her mace.
She does some research (yeah, we just scene change because why not) and finds he’s an old schoolmate of hers. They used to talk about books and stuff. But they hadn’t been in contact for ages. Apparently time did things to him cuz he never used to be into shoving his honker on people and taking a deep inhale.
How they get bonded together is when the main chick knocks over some books after she goes and hides from the weirdo (he comes back to ask about that sniff). The books fall on him, breaking his glasses. The main girl feels bad and and offers to drive the main dude home.
Hey to all their own.
He lives in this huge quaint home which the main girl passed one day for reasons never explained (she lives near there?). Seeing how excited she is at just looking at his house, he invites her in which she does, smelling business forgotten. After touching all his books and squealing, the main dude explains his profession and the reason why he wants to smell her the way a dog does another dog’s butt. Ever since he was younger, his strong sense of smell has been both an enemy and a friend. When he found that old book of hers he had borrowed without ever returning, it made him think of her.
After hearing his sob story(?), the main girl is all for him smelling her.
Him: really? That’s all it took to convince you me sniffing your tits is normal?
The power suddenly goes out and the main girl trips and scratches herself on…something. The main guy finds her by sniffing out her blood, which amazes her. We jump to her sitting at the used book store, thinking of the guy. The end.
Osanajimi to Tokeru Natsu (A Sweltering Summer with my Childhood Friend) – The main chick comes from a family of 4 boys. They used to pick on her because brothers, and one day, a boy appeared and was like, fight me. I have a baseball bat. Needless to say, they backed off very quickly from their bullying. Since then, the main girl and the boy have been friends. Zoom to them older. They still good. Both are just living life. It’s currently summer and both are in the main boy’s room studying like they always do. However, bro is being cheap and won’t turn the AC on. The main girl hugs the wall in drama, trying to suck any form of cooling from it. But instead of cooling off, she hears the neighbors fucking like the Discovery Channel beasts they are.
And it gets awkward because it turns out you don’t have to have your ear against the wall to hear their squishes and slams. Those horny lovebirds are so loud all you have to do is be silent to hear the screams of pleasure coming through*.
[*My first thought in all of this is, dude, how the fuck can you just sit there “studying” with that as your background music? Where are your headphones? Radio playing? Even singing to yourself???
Or are you just a strange person that enjoys the sounds of two strangers lovemaking? *squints eyes and strokes chin*]
Randomly – or not, since the topic is happening at that very moment, beating against the walls very loudly, asking for two more to be pushed in back there – the main girl asks the main dude if he’s ever bent someone over a table and let the juices roll? He tells her yes, which surprises her. The hell? When was this? In the McDonald’s bathroom cuz they have been inseparable over the years. Dude asks the main girl is she has any interest in playing genital legos? She gets flustered. Oh sure they looked at porn together (first: what? Second: see, inseparable) but she’s not into that.
But apparently the main guy was just making small talk as he saunters over and proceeds to honk her boob. The main girl is strangely fine with this and they do it. Right there. On his bed. As if to compete with the noise next door.
Like, shit. Was it either that or play some Nintendo Wii? Losing one’s virginity seemed the better option???
After doing the deed – this better not end in teen pregnancy – he walks her home. The main girl is super embarrassed because, they literally went from friends to…I don’t even know… At the front of her house, he apologizes, which makes the main girl super angry. She storms away to wash his fluids in the bathtub.
Me: the fuck is even going on?
Time has passed and the girl is like >:( But apparently that >:( doesn’t last long when bro comes rolling over and is like, wanna hit my room?
Her: :J K
The door isn’t even closed before the main dude’s dick is out and making sure the lock is secure before bouncing its way over. They do it and the main girl thinks, wait a minute…don’t people normally do this kind of thing AFTER they’be been dating for a while? *strokes chin* (not if you’re just fuck buddies, kid…)
He sees her to her house and leaves. They repeat this cycle where once a week he comes for her and they bonk. Summer ends and school starts. The main guy tells the girl they need to stop what they’re doing (but you’re the one initiating it…?). The main girl cries but says it’s cool as long as they can be friends still.
Her: the fuck?
The main guy says he wants her to hate him because he was only interested in dick bouncing with her. Later that day, the main girl hears from her mom that the main dude is moving soon with his family. This prompts the main girl to crawl through the main guy’s second story window, screaming THE FUCK BITCH? again.
We learn that mom and dad are divorcing after the main guy is done with exams (damn). He’ll be moving to Hokkaido with mom and to take care of a grandma that lives up there. He says life has been crazy and he just saw the main girl as an outlet for his frustrations (you little shit…). He was happy she was there to stick his dick in but he feels bad for being weak. He wants her to hate him. The main girl instead does the opposite and states she will move to Hokkaido to.
He tells her he’s no match for he and that he loves her (???༼ ͠ຈ Ĺ̯ ͠ຈ ༽). They kiss and most likely they’re going to fuck but rather than see another sad show, we’re done. The end.
Amai Tamashii (~Sweet Spirit?) – was super confused about this one-shot. It’s literal food porn. No bump and grind between people. Just 40 pages about food, pictures of food, history of food, and eating said food. Was Love Jossie short on things to put in this issue or was Amai Tamashii supposed to go to another magazine, like AneLala, because it felt so out of place…and wrong. Like a bible found in the romance section lol…
I didn’t pay attention much. The art wasn’t my style and there were too many giant ass speech bubbles everywhere followed by hundreds of smaller ones. Was like an aphid infestation. Also it was just…too pure.
I’m already nips deep in the gutter that is josei smut haha
Let me continue with my filth, Love Jossie >:3
Jyunai French Full Course Dinner (Pure Love French Full Course Dinner) – see, now this is the kind of proud trash I’m talking about. Just look at that cover page. Her all naked except for an apron, and him jamming his erect dick into her backside while eating said apron cuz that’s how he rolls. This is the type of food porn I’d expect from Love Jossie. Hell yeah!
The main chick gets a job at a fancy French restaurant to earn some cash. She thought when she applied she’d be working as a waitress cuz dem outfits! (everyone has their priorities I guess) but nope she got put as the bus boy…er, girl? She was going to quit the second she found out about the position but her boss told her to wait until she was shown the kitchen.
Her: I don’t care what kind of jet spray nozzle your sink has or how the Dawn soap smells, nothing you do can convince me to stay –
Inside the kitchen, she finds it is a natural habitat for bishi chefs. Instantly her brain went to thinking, if I can bag one of these fuckers, he can cook me a great dinner on Christmas (we’re talking appetizers, 3 main courses, and 5 desserts) and stuff me like a turkey <3
(literally, the panel are as followed: her eating. Next panel: her getting eaten)
Her: I’ll take the position! Now tell me which of these guys is the best at going down on a girl? :D
However, life as a bus boy girl isn’t all fun and games. She’s always running around, doing things.
The hell is this?
One day, the main girl gets fed up doing a job and decides she doesn’t want to be an adult. She walks by her boss’s office and overhears him and one of the angry bishi chefs talking. Specifically about her. The boss is thinking of putting her on the waitress staff but the angry bishi chef tells him to hold off. He wants her to learn a little more about the dishes they serve and shit before sending her out to the hall without any idea on what’s going on. The main girl is a hard worker so she’ll learn quick.
His words make her super happy and her confidence/determination return. The main girl starts to study the menu and recipes, which give her more opportunities at the restaurant when she’s given new tasks to undertake. Her improvement impresses angry bishi chef. One night, she falls asleep after her shift and wakes up to find a blanket draped on her. Sounds from the kitchen catch her ear. She wonders in to find angry bishi chef hard at work.
Her: *whispers* he can work on me any day of the week, baby
Him: what? (；☉_☉)
Her: nothing. Sorry. Didn’t mean to bother ya *wipes drool off her chin* Sup?
He invites her into the kitchen and shows her what he was working on: a cute little cake for Christmas. This makes the main girl laugh because given his permanent bitch face and personality, she wasn’t expecting angry bishi chef to know what cute is :D
They lol and eat the cake ~ More time passes and Christmas comes stomping in, wanting all the dollars. The main girl gets promoted from bus boy to…whatever is a step higher than a bus boy (think she’s now “food prepper”). She’s working hard still, studying and all that. Angry bishi chef finds her studying and is surprised. She explains that she wants to get better at her new position. Also, she thinks to herself, staying after gives her an opportunity to talk to the angry bishi chef.
Angry bishi chef makes her a meal cuz why not and they joke around. She notices on his arm is a burn mark. He explains he got it back when he was a young angry bishi novice, learning how to turn a stove on and what not. He lols that at least it wasn’t a crazy burn and digs into his meal.
For some odd reason, the girl goes super emo. She questions everything she’s done until now. This guy went to Europe and shit, and studied his balls green. Her? She’s just going to college cuz her parents said so. She doesn’t give a flying fuck really about the French. This job is for money and dicks…she’s such a worthless sack of shit…
The main girl starts crying, confusing angry bishi chef. When asked wtf between bites, she tells him that compared to him, she’s a butt pimple. Useless and ugly. After licking his bowl clean, angry bishi chef straddles up next to her and tells her she’s not a butt pimple. She’s an important person to him. She’s a hard worker who never gives up and has the strength to keep going forward. Both stare at each other until BAM kiss.
Since this is a josei, rather than stop here and blush, the dude is like *touches thigh* ¬ ‿ ¬
Her: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS but not here. I have standards
Him: Ok. I’ve got a car and an erection. You in?
Her: *already buckled in the passenger’s seat*
They go back to his place and bonk. 10 pages later, he tells her about his dream. He wants to open his own restaurant. When asked what her dream is, the main girl thinks how she’d like to help him out at his restaurant but she’s a butt pimple so no…
Him: you want to join me in opening up my own restaurant?
Her: OK :D
Me: weren’t you JUST saying how you’ll never be able to help him cuz you suck???
We jump three years and they have opened their own restaurant and married. The end.
Wasn’t too bad. The main girl was a wiener for a while but I liked she maned up eventually :J
Kare to Watashi no Kannoushousetsu (His and Mine’s Erotic Tale) – lol forgot this one! This girl had dreams of marrying rich but now at 30 and single, she’s bitter and grumpy. One day while walking home, she’s saved from the dangers of texting and crossing a road by a younger guy. She sees he got injured helping her and offers to bandage him back up at her place. Now in real life, this is where the robbing and possible endangerment to one’s life start to happen, but since this is manga, the man does not have any carnal desire or criminal intent. Once bandaged up, he gets ready to leave. She notices he has a lot of stuff and he comments that he was going to stay with his friend and his friend’s girlfriend but lol nope the park bench instead will be his new residence. For reasons unknown to her, the main chick offers to have him stay at her place until he can pick himself up.
Him: hell yeah! No waking up to old men sniffing my crotch anymore :D
Time passes and they grow close. We learn he’s a budding writer. The main girl compliments the guy on his writing and it gets him super doki doki. Eventually the dude falls for her but he’s not sure she’s interested – she said she wanted to marry a rich guy and he’s totally not rich. What rich guy slept on a park benches and fought off homeless people nightly to protect his virtue before rooming with an older woman to stop said night attacks?
After misunderstandings and bitchy coworkers nearly drive them apart, the main chick stumbles upon a novel the main guy is writing. In it, it details the both of them, how she took him in and showered him with kindness. Only deviation from the truth is how they end up sexually slapping the shit out of each other. This makes the main chick realize it’s not about money. What she should be marrying for is love. Duh! Determined to make that fanfic real, she tells this to the guy who pulls his head out of the noose he was fashioning and the two bonk and live happily ever after.
And that as they say, is that ~
A fun read as usual. Looking forward to more (please be crazy) adventures with Love Jossie. Yaya for digital magazines! :D
Not sure what my next posts will be. I’ve got a Sylph one on the stove but it’s not even room temperature yet. There’s also a Zero-Sum one and a B’s Log Comic one I need to write up. Oh, and a Margaret one too. Lol forgot bout that one!
Ah well…guess it’ll be a surprise :D