Love Jossie #5, did the cops report these guys because there was barely any steam in these reads?

antimagicreliceaterAlrighty! It’s been awhile so let’s have some Love Jossie this weekend :D Sure I partly wrote this post back in February but eyyyyyyyyyhhhhhhhh. From what I can recall (and from re-reading what I wrote), Love Jossie #5 was pretty tame. Things REALLY calmed the fuck down since #3. To the point where there had been a couple months between #4’s release and #5’s. I thought the magazine had been cancelled but one day while browsing on BookWalker, what should pop up but Love Jossie #5 (back in Feb…don’t judge).

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I’m not sure why the guy looks like he’s about to cry or why the lady’s shadowing on her face looks almost clown-like but you know, I chalk up anything weird and out of the ordinary due to Love Jossie #3. Everything will be because of Love Jossie #3…

On to the content!

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Game ~ Suits no Sukima – still much sexual tension. Still no real story progression haha. Seriously, there were more pages dedicated to the BJ the chick gave than to the actual plot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Yoru Kara Hajimaru Tensai Junkyouju no Renai Shoumei – super cute. While out on a date, the couple gets rained on. They retreat back to the main guy’s house where they find the electricity and heat are out (the girl discovers this after jumping into the shower and literally screaming death at the chill – I understand your pain, my friend .___.). With nothing to do (guy: “well, we can *does a dick thrust* “; her: “I nearly froze in your shower. No amount of sweet talk is going to make me open up these legs as they’re clamped shut trying to keep my vital organs warm :/”), the two go to sleep but the guy gets sick because the girl stole the covers during the night lol. Feeling guilty, she looks after him but apparently when he’s under the weather, he gets a 180 in personality. Now he’s super sweet and dere, and she doesn’t know how to respond haha xD The girl calls her mom for advice on how to take care of sick people and mom gives her some recipes as well as some tips. Mom ends the conversation with a “take care, cuz a fever heats up more than just the body…it heats up…the passion ;J”

Main girl: ok thx mom that’s enough

Mom: his dick may get so hard you can balance plates on it. In case you didn’t understand me.

Main girl: mom no

And lol he does get horny. But he’s still ill cuz while in the middle of getting it on, he passes out. Doh! The next morning the guy is all recovered but the girl is sick. He has no memory of his dere moments except of when the main girl was in the kitchen trying to cook and not kill them all.

I’m happy how much this title has grown on me :J Looking forward to more ~

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Senbuu Oshiete, Sensei (Please Teach Me, Teacher) – this got another chapter??? But uh…wasn’t everything already resolved in the one-shot? ┐(゚⊇゚)┌ Well ok then… In this chapter, the first 1/4 of the pages are dedicated to basically retelling the first chapter. The rest of the tale deals with the main girl feeling awkward about her new relationship and the guy going (´-ω-`) until she finally confesses what’s bothering her. They then French hard and the end.

This title is always a little bit freaky since I forgot mom was also present in the house until afterwards the two have cake with her. Nothing to put back on the calories lost from a good round of “can you guess what I ate today?”

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This is a lucky man because that woman is flexible. I mean, look at her. How is she able to twist like that???

Yume no Naka demo Aishite ~ Anata wo Nozokimasu ~ (Even in my Dreams, I love you ~ Watching You (lit. even in a dream I love you ~ peeking at you)) – a new one-shot. Through reasons never explained, the main girl is able to enter people’s dreams and basically pervs on what happens. One day, she enters the dream of a boy she likes. In his dream, he’s staring at a tree. That’s it. I like to think it’s because his dream is boring as hell that – after a while of just staring too – she decides to try and interact with him, rather than sit back and watch like usual.
But I bet it was most likely cuz she wanted to get his attention :P
He reacts and they chat and become friendly. However, in the real world, she doesn’t exist on his radar. The main dude is a popular guy with a girlfriend and she’s a nerd. Though it pains the girl, she still enters his dreams to chat with him. Dream dude has lots of baggage. Though he’s popular, he has no one he can really talk to about his issues. And his girlfriend left his ass because…I don’t know, he has a microdick (no reason was given, make up any you like). The more they talk in his dreams, the closer they get though nothing changes in real life. This causes the main girl super anguish to the point that she eventually stops visiting him.
Meanwhile, in the real world, dude has been noticing the main girl more and more. He can’t understand why, since she’s a nerd and he’s super chocolaty awesome but…he feels like he’s met her somewhere before. While dreaming one night, he thinks about how normally people don’t remember their dreams but for some reason, he feels like he’s waiting for someone. But who…? Unconsciously he whispers the main girl’s name and wakes up. This leaves him super confused because he doesn’t know anyone with that name.
While walking deep in thought at school, he collides with the main girl. He sees her name printed on one of her notebooks and notes how it’s the same as the one he called out in his dream but before he can say anything, she crawls up a wall and disappears through the ventilation duct.
That night, he’s standing in his dream forest. I believe he got bored of staring at a fucking tree all this time and that is what pushes him to suddenly scream out the main girl’s name as a change of pace. However, only the wind answers him. He sighs in defeat until someone whispers “I’m here.” We see the main girl hidden behind a tree. He rushes over and stops as he remembered everything about their time together (which confuses me because how the hell was he able to remember her before???). He pulls her into a hug and tells her he’s glad to see her.
She tells him she was depressed because even though he knows her in a dream (apparently not since he just remembered who she was), he doesn’t remember her in real life and that made her depressed. Dude thinks for a second and then changes the main girl’s outfit, much to her surprised. He explains that it’s his dream so he can do whatever he wants (uh, last I checked, I had no control on the direction or speed of my dreams. My last dream had someone open their mouth and their teeth were upside down. The fuck you saying I wanted that). Dude tells her she looks super cute before leaning in for a kiss and a boob honk. However, he stops them before they can go further. Reason is cuz he wants to do it in real life, not wake up with a morning wood and having to find a sock to satisfy his raging friend.  Dude tells the girl to wear the dress she’s wearing right now when they meet in the real world. He promises he’ll remember her.

So she does that (not sure how but she finds the dress…amazon prime, baby). He walks by and sees her but doesn’t slow his dance. The girl gets depressed until dude hugs her from behind. He remembers everything!

Like about that bed brawl :J

The series ends with him riding her off into the sunset…and them both happy.

Not a bad one-shot. Weird but interesting haha.

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Mousou Shoujo – only one crazy delusion this time. Chapter is about the main girl trying to figure out if the main guy has a girlfriend. He tells her no but I’m not sure if he’s telling the truth because we know nothing about him other than he’s a possible player :Y

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Hatsukoi no Shoumikigen (~The Expiration Date on First Love) – and it’s here that I last left off 3 months ago lol. From what I remember, it was kind of dumb but that’s because it was oh so shojo. You have this lady who works at this cafe. She was chillin’ with her dude friend a bit when this guy comes into the cafe who looks exactly like a friend she had when she was younger. In fact, she’s pretty sure it is the guy but he doesn’t act like he knows her which confuses the main chick.

Backstory time! When the chick was younger, she was kind of tomboyish so she’d be made fun of. But this causes her and the main dude to interact and become friends. However, he was interested in being more than friends much to her surprise.

Her: is he into me because I’m a woman…or cuz I look like a guy? *touches chin

However, she overhears him talking to a friend one day and misunderstands his words, thinking they were directed at her. She leaves in tears and as fate would have it, her dad gets a job transfer that exact moment and the whole family packs away to follow him. Over the years she grew her hair out, learned to make up, and even went out with a nice guy. But she could never really get over the past.

Thus we get to the present. Determined to find out if this dude really is the dude from her past and…uh…not sure what she’s planning on doing from there but whatever, the main girl meets up with him and pretends she got stood up by friends. They go to a bar drinking and like shojo girls with shojo stairs, josei ladies are doomed with josei alcohol. She gets wasted and asks the main dude to take her somewhere…like specifically his hotel room.

He complies because…*shrugs* There she hits on him and he’s like, bitch you smell like Jameson and free bar pretzels. This wakes the main girl off and she lols about the whole thing. She starts to pack her bag to hit the ol’ dusty trail when he pushes her on to the bed.

Me: oh shit oh shit rape? Murder? Rape murder or murder rape??? D:

But thankfully he is not a rapist murder. Instead, the reason he slammed her onto the mattress springs is cuz he thinks she’s messing with him, pretending not to know it’s him…friend from the past, and he manifests these feelings via force. He then loses his shit a bit, like not like a full blasting in the toilet….more, the turd pokes out his butt a smidge but it doesn’t fully come out: he’s like, all of a sudden, your ass moved and you didn’t try and contact me or nothing. Then we meet again but you don’t say DIDDLES. And so I’m all thinking, well shit, there must have been a reason she doesn’t want to say hey buddy long time no see. I mean, you changed your appearance and then you were talking to your man so I just rolled with it. So wtf??

She somehow goes Hercules and pushes him off, crying that she ain’t got no man in her life because she’s only loved him. But then there was the thing he said back in school.

Him: bitch you gotta be more specific than that. I’m fucking almost 30. You think I remember every little thing I said when I was 14?

She tells him and he’s like…bitch….really? He kisses her and explains what he was trying to say was that you can’t judge people by appearances. And that his friend was a turd for thinking if someone is pretty on the outside, that’s all good when in reality you don’t know what you’ll get.

Her: oh :) good to know I wasted 10 years over that…

They then have sex because this is josei. The main dude tells the main chick he’s moving to this location due to his work. He asks her to wait for him. She’s like, I waited 10 years for that dick. Honey, I’m patient ~

Like I said, kinda dumb but oh so shojo ~

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Kindan! Horscope Girl! – this came back…I only skimmed because it dumb. You date a guy but then still frolic with uncle? Nah, I’m good.

And that, as they say, is that.

I’m playing FFX again and that’s what one of the characters says after going through a long winded explanation on things ^^
See you all in Love Jossie #6!

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