My first attempt at a Tid-Bits in like…years? Omg was I rusty. So many bottles of WD40 went into oiling these fingers and cogs in my head haha. It was tough but I’m glad I hung on until the end. I finally remembered how to type on the keyboard again too – bonus! (I was so used to typing two fingered on the phone that my other fingers got out of shape, since all they did was hold my phone steady for my thumbs to do their magic).
That said, I’m back, guys! Training has been completed and passed. Horribly painful exams done. Scars forever left on my psyche and body… Yup, may I never have to go through that spartan training ever again. Now I’m learning how to swim in my new position by having my feet set on fire. Yeah, not the best way to introduce someone to their new environment but I got switched to a new supervisor who is kinda cray. For the most part, my new peeps are helpful with giving me advice on what to do but damn, they go fast. And if it’s one thing I don’t do, it’s speed. Especially not in my field. But thankfully my ass dragging pace hasn’t been too much of a hindrance since they’ve already jumped on all the things by the time I’ve climbed the stairs ^^; Pray for me, my friends. This will be an interesting period in my career hur.
I wrote a couple posts during that time but who knows if I’ll actually post them. Most of them were mag posts. Murr hur. Anyway, now that training has left my battered shell of a body for other poor souls to damage eternally, I’m hoping to dedicate a bit more time to working on my Japanese. Thus the revival of Tid-Bits ~ I won’t be at the level I was in the past. I’m pretty much going to stick to one series at a time, mostly with Sylph titles since they’re my favorite :3 I’m hoping to post once a week a chapter of whatever I’m tid-biting. We’ll see how that works out. I’ve promised things before and life just shakes its head at me before dragging me off to do big kid things…
Anyway, here is a series I’ve been following in Sylph – Sore wa Iromeku Fukyouwaon (A Colorful Discord) . It just recently ended at a nice 2 tanks which I thought would be perfect for a comeback attempt ~ The series is simple enough. Pianos x shojo. Like La Coarda, except not that serious. And more man nipple touching. Enjoy! :J
Sore wa Iromeku Fukyouwaon
The chapter starts with a boy and girl staring at each other, holding hands, and surrounded by everything shojo.
Shojo blushing – check
Shojo sparkles – check
Shojo glitter – check
Shojo roses blooming out of no where – check
Shojo petals fluttering in a shojo wind – check
(There is so much shojo here that if you’re questioning what genre we’re dealing with, you need to go back to school.)
The main character of this story – the dude with the glasses – tells us readers how on that day, he felt something in him stir. Blooming into something beautiful. A singular sound that was –
Before he can finish, the girl, who was looking ever so elegant, screams “OMGGGGGGGGGGG UR FINGERS R SO LONNNNNGGGG!” (ʘ言ʘ)
Him: (；゜○゜) w-what?
Her: AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT BOYS WITH LONG FINGERS RIGHT? *eyebrow wiggle*
Him: um, er yeah haha…that we have big –
Her: They play a mean piano solo ༼ ͠° ͟ ͟ʖ ͡° ༽
Are you talking about the instrument, the piano, or…
Is that supposed to be a fancy metaphor for masturbating because…
The girl presses against him, her fangirl game strong. The guy, on the other hand, is cringing in fear. Doesn’t matter if that crack about his finger length was in relation to his piano skills or his dick, it’s still random as hell and that’s not something you tell someone you’ve barely met 24 hours ago.
Or maybe it is.
I don’t know.
I tend to refrain talking about penises when I meet people, but that’s just my policy.
The next page takes us to the past. The boy – Ichirou- gives us readers some background on just what we’re reading, since that first page was weird and a girl feeling up a dude’s hand isn’t much of an explanation on the plot ^^: Today is Ichirou’s first day at his new high school. The school in question is famous for its piano program, which is Ichirou’s registered curriculum track. Ichirou is walking to school trying to pep talk himself into thinking school is going to be awesome – he’s going to rock at the piano, he’s going to have a great time in high school, and oh who are we kidding – he’s doomed. Might as well just go find a toilet to flush himself down because he’s shit.
(Dayum, Ichirou wastes no time going from optimistic to pessimistic all in one thought bubble haha)
He then starts to freak out because all the students look like they’re star players. It could be on the field, in the classroom, or behind a piano, they all look like failure is something they killed when they came out of the womb, so as to never associate with it.
(FYI I’m pretty sure the only reason Ichirou is saying “everyone” is because all these kids have the exact same face. Only their attire or height stands each apart. So since everyone looks alike, if one looks like a star, then they’re all a galaxy in Ichirou’s eyes haha.)
Eventually, the lights of everyone’s majesty become too much for Ichirou and he falls over. For him, being surrounded by such greatness is akin to shoving too many gerbils up one’s butthole. You can only take so much before it becomes too overwhelming and you pass out.
A girl who was nearby comes over and asks if he’s okay – he looks like a guy who didn’t know his limit with how many gerbils he can hold in his butt winker and passed out (This girl is the one from the beginning who was fangirling over his digits FYI). Ichirou recovers super quick (nope all good nothing to see here hee), and starts to internally cry. He just fainted in front of everyone. The school bell hasn’t even rung yet he’s already made a fool of himself. Ichirou gets so caught up in his self-kicking that he runs off, leaving the girl to stare at him like “this motherfucker…”
As he moves, he swings in his emotions again, this time from pessimism to optimism. He laments about being a loser but then 4 speech bubbles later, he’s talking about how he’ll be so awesome, Mozart will lick his butthole just to get a taste of his greatness. He’ll make Nagakura-sensei cry in joy.
(who the fuck Nagakura-sensei is at this point, I have no clue)
We jump to class starting. The teacher says they’ll start the class by introducing everyone. Ichirou is sitting in his seat swearing.
Mother sucker, not this again! Why the nip tips do we do this every year? We don’t give a fuck about each other’s names. We stop caring the second someone closes their flapper. None of us will be remembered by our names anyway. No, we’ll go by nicknames like ‘the fat kid’ or ‘the bitch’ or ‘the bitch’s bitch’ or ‘person I’d probably bone if offered’ or ‘kid who probably ate someone at some point in his life.’ Why don’t teachers get this? Heck, they don’t even know our names!
Ichirou’s so lost in bitching that he doesn’t realize it’s his turn. When he’s up front, all the kids whisper about how tall he is and how someone needs to give him a sandwich. Ichirou himself is too busy shaking to pay attention. He manages to say his name without a turd trickling down his leg and is about to go sit down when the teacher stops him. “hmmmmm, you’re not sweating enough boy. We’re close to the public urination stage so how about we make you tell us where you came from? Yeah, I get off this. You think this is what I wanted to do with my life? Teach a bunch of slow ass kids? No, I wanted to draw. I wanted to draw dicks and get paid for it. But there’s not much business in that. So I’m going to make sure I can break as many dreams as I can so TELL US WHERE YOU’RE FROM BOY!”
The additional task required of him becomes too much of a strain and Ichirou faints because that’s just what he does.
He dreams about the mysterious Nagakura-sensei. This faceless face/giant finger tells little Ichirou how to prevent fainting every 5 minutes (which makes me question how bad he was in the past if he’s already gone down 2 times and it’s not even 9 in the morning). Ichirou is instructed to mediate and lose himself. Then to count – one, two, –
Ichirou wakes up before we get to figure out what happens.
In front of him is a dude. The dude smiles. “Hey there buddy. You’re awake. Don’t ask what I’m doing with my cellphone and why your pants are pulled down.”
Ichirou: wait what?
Dude: I carried you here because when you fainted, well…you did it on my desk and…yeah
Ichirou: yeah I do that a lot my bad can we go back to my pants not being in their proper location?
Dude: I did that to help free ya up buddy. No need to thank me. And I totally understand about the fainting thing. I get boners whenever I see Ronald McDonald. It’s just something we can’t control.
Ichirou: …I don’t think they’re the same thing but whatever…wait where is my underwear?
Dude: now that you’re awake, let’s go to the assembly :D
So off they go. First up is their principal who looks like a metrosexual biker with a Pomeranian. He talks for 50 minutes about his dog and I don’t know, how to shave one’s nipples without cutting them off. He dances off stage so the student president can come one. Surprise surprise it’s the girl from earlier.
All the dudes in the audience instantly get a hard on the second they see her, save the friend dude Hibiki. In all honesty, it looks like he might be in the process of masturbating. Look and tell me what you think that face means:
Sooooooo, anway…in the quickest whack off ever, the next panel has Hibiki asking Ichirou (who is gaping at seeing the girl again) if he knows her. Hibiki does. They went to middle school together. She – Nene Fujioka – was the top in everything – she had the brain for taking down teachers and their tests, the thighs to tear up PE, and the looks to make anyone fall for her. Her dad’s a doctor too. Why this is important, only Hibiki knows since he’s the one who shared this information.
“Too bad she’s got problems”
As Ichirou is thinking, “damn, I knew it. All these people here are on another level what do you mean she has problems?”, she opens her mouth and does the explaining for Hibiki.
“Class. I have something I need to tell you all.
I love pianos.
But you know what I love more?
The jiggly dicks that play them. I wish they would play me. The way those digits fly over those ivory keys, making sweet juicy sounds of passion…oh those boys can play me allllllllll night. I’ll make some noise alright. Hmmmm, mama can’t help but salivate about the thought and shiver at the feel of those fingers down there, fiddling around, creating and making. *deep heavy breathing* I myself can’t play the piano. That’s why I’m not in the piano curriculum. But just because I can’t play the piano doesn’t mean I can’t play an instrument, if you get me boys. For those who don’t, I’m saying I give a mean handjob. So to all you piano boys looking for a good time, here’s my tinder profile.”
Principal: HA! This bitch is crazy. I like her :J
After that, life continues. The school day ends without much else happening – though after that assembly thing, anything else would be pale in comparison. Ichirou heads home in a daze. His thoughts are stuck on the assembly.
“What kind of school is this? The Principal is a weirdo and looks like he has a court order banning him from being near children. That thing on his shoulder is no where or shape a dog. Then you have that crazy ho who stated in front of the entire student body that she wants her piano tuned by any boy who’s ever touched a piano. I…aiyayayaya…I’m not the best person to be complaining about this but shit…”
That’s when we hear the thundering sounds of feet looking for some dick. The pounding reaches Ichirou and he finds himself grabbed by both arms. It’s Nene. She asks him if he’s Watabesou Ichirou. Trapped in her iron death grip, Ichirou can only let out a high pitch shriek and affirm her question. Happy to find her target, she then sets off with Ichirou’s beanpole ass flapping in the air behind her like a kite.
This whole time Ichirou is thinking: omg omg omg omg omg omg am I going to get raped? (⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾) omg omg omg does she know I play the piano? omg omg omg she’s going to shove my hand up her vagina and oh gawd no no no no no no no ヽ( ;ﾟ;ж;ﾟ;)ﾉ
She arrives at her destination and busts the door open. Inside in the principal dude chilling with his dog. Nene asks the principal if Ichirou is the guy.
Ichirou: *shakes head violently*
Principal: YUP! :D
The girl then tells Ichirou she has been looking for him ever since she heard that he played “Light of the Moon” for his audition to the school. See, Light of the Moon is Nene’s jam. She will cut a bitch if they try to karaoke that song that’s how much it’s hers. However, she didn’t know where to look to find him but thankfully, she knows the principal and they’re both weirdos so he told her who it was that played that song. Thus, why Ichirou is here.
Ichirou: I hate you so much Mr. Principal.
Despite Nene’s gushing, Ichirou makes a confession to us readers. He has absolutely no recollection of when he played at the audition. Whenever he plays in front of a crowd, things happen and he forgets. Not the healthiest of things to be happening but this is manga. As Ichirou is conflicted about if he should go to a doctor about his black outs, Nene is feeling him up. His back, his hands, his nipples – everything is free game for the touching. We’re not talking light pokes either. All five fingers and the palm are on this boy.
Him: gah! Please stop that! Don’t touch my man milkers! I don’t even touch my man milkers. I just want to go, guys.
Her: oh, I heard ya. You want to go…and play the piano. Oh, I’ve got your “piano.” *licks lips* Let’s find a good place for me to sit and we can have own our private concert *grabs his arm*
As she’s dragging him away, Ichirou looks to the principal for help. This has to be some form of illegal!!!
Principal: hahaha, boy I’m the one who told her about you. You think I’m actually going to stop this now? Fuck no :D I’m not even a real principal. I don’t even work here ~
That is how Ichirou finds himself parked in front of a keyboard, with Nene flapping around him, commenting on how hot piano boys are when they’re in front of a piano (Ichirou: I’m just sitting here tho…help me). For some reason, Ichirou’s teacher is here too. I don’t know why. Both Nene and the teacher stare at Ichirou, waiting for him to play something. Instead, Ichirou passes out for the first time this chapter. For Ichirou, two’s a crowd and that’s enough to invoke unconsciousness. Ichirou explains that he just can’t when in front of a crowd.
Teacher: oh sensei understands, very well. But you know, when it’s the difference between paying your rent on time or sleeping naked in the park, you find the power to do what you got to do.
Teacher: but man this sucks, I wanted to have you play in the welcome to the next three years of pain ceremony. See, normally we have a lottery to choose someone to play but that person is out sick so he won’t be able to play. Rationally, you’d think we’d just do another lottery but you’re here and you’re the main character so…yeah, you game?
Ichirou: hell no :(
Nene: hell yeah! :D
The teacher leaves, leaving Ichirou and Nene alone. Ichirou freaks at Nene, questioning why she just signed him up to die. She tells him it’ll be fine. Performing at the welcome to hell ceremony will be great to add to his resume. Plus he sounds great when he plays
Ichirou: “YOU’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD ME PLAY!” (╬☉д⊙)
Nene: “Details. You can do it, cuz you’re the man!”
Ichirou: “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM!” (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)
Ichirou gets fed and leaves. He grips about people sticking their dicks in his business where they don’t belong. When he was younger, a boy similar to Nene volunteered Ichirou to perform at their elementary school isn’t fun ceremony. Little Ichirou wasn’t much different than he is now so he shat himself and passed out when he saw his audience. “So much trauma…” Ichirou tells himself that one day he’ll perform in front of people. Only now is not that day. Nor is tomorrow.
Still grumpy, he comes to school the next day to find Nene seated behind a piano. He thanks the lord above because she’s obviously there to fill in for him. After all, she’s perfect. If she can polish diamonds with her abs, then what’s a piano solo to her?
She lowers her fingers to the keys to create sounds of the damned wailing in agony. It’s so bad that Ichirou can’t walk by without saying something. The hell, ho!?
Nene: oh I was just trying to play a little of “Light of the Moon”
Ichirou: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SONG!? （・□・；）
Nene: oh phewie, how am I ever going to be a piano teacher when I grow up?
Ichirou: excuse? （＊〇□〇）
Nene explains that when she was younger, she’d used to visit a piano school. Due to reasons, she couldn’t take lessons there but she had a great time just watching everyone play. Especially the teacher of the joint, Nagakura-sensei. At the sound of his teacher’s name, Ichirou gets excited and tells Nene, hey that’s the guy who taught me! She stares at him in surprise. Ichirou thinks to himself, you know. She’s not so bad. I mean, look at this moment we’re having over Nagakura-sensei :J
Nene: touch my vagina now, student of Nagakura-sensei
Ichirou: never mind, she cray
Nene continues, saying how even though she couldn’t play the piano, she still wants to be a piano student. But she couldn’t make the cut, what with her inability to play the piano (this is like the cycle of poverty, only with pianos). However, there’s always next year to try and change tracks :D
Ichirou is moved by Nene’s really stupid determination. She can’t play the piano yet she wants to join the piano curriculum. She needs to stop but doesn’t. It’s commendable.
Not sure what happened to Ichirou’s fear of Nene that he’s held this entire chapter but I’m thinking since we’re almost to the end, the change of heart is necessary for the next bit.
Nene tells Ichirou that they’ve found a replacement to perform at the welcome to hating the alphabet ceremony. Part of him wants to go “helllll yeah no go for me!’’” but due to the random character change, he instead says “nah. I’m going to do it. All these years, people have been pushing me to do my best yet I was the one who caused my own failure. I dragged my own ass down in fear. But no more, I’m going to be a big kid. We’re doing this!!!!!!”
And then he actually sees how large the crowd.
“Okay, well then. I was disillusioned as fuck. Where is that replacement guy again?”
The main girl pushes him out onto the stage, telling him to just picture everyone as a cat. Ichirou shrieks that an auditorium filled with cats is hella worse than what’s there right now but can’t say no more as he’s now the center of everyone’s attention. He sits at the piano but starts to freak out. “Okay, what are my fingers used for again here?” He then thinks about what Nagakura-sensei taught him about getting over his fear of crowds.
“Clear your mind. Close your eyes. Picture a metronome. Tick. Tick. Tick. One, tick. Two, tick. Three.”
At three, Ichirou faints. Nene rushes over to help him but he gets up. However, something about him is different. And it’s not just that his glasses fell off and he looks like a bishi. No, he looks like a zombie/stoner who’s ready to play some rock band. He tells Nene he’s fine. She tells him she wants his dick.
Turning back to the piano, he finger combs his bangs back and starts letting loose on the piano. The students watching scream at how awesome he is and lose their shits (a nice change from Ichirou losing his). He finishes and all the people go nuts. He walks off stage to Nene, who is also freaking out in joy. She can’t make the sexual joke she was holding about her vulvar and f minor cuz he was so good he blew it out of her mind. Ichirou responds by passing out.
Ichirou awakens at the nurse’s office, having no recollection what happened. His fingers feel like they did things (eyes Nene in suspicion) but he can’t remember what. As he thinks he should be concerned, his classmates come rushing in to fawn over him. They tell him he rocked and all Ichirou can think is “I’d feel better if I could remember if I really did or not.” Nene is standing a bit in the back as everyone is climbing on Ichirou but she wakes up and throws their secondary asses over her shoulder to get to Ichirou. She tells him that he was awesome and she knew he could do it.
Ichirou thinks about how he’d never have been able to perform in front of the student body without her support. It’s now time for him to grow as a person and stop hiding. He needs to let his balls drop and become a man. This school will help him. Just as he thinks that, Nene gets a crazy look on her face.
“We’re going to have the best three years ever, buddy :D I’ll be right there glued to you any time your fingers touch the piano. Oh my gawd, piano boys are the best!!!!!!”
Ichirou: I change my mind. This bitch is crazy and I want to die.
End of chapter 1 ~ *falls over