One more post guys. I’m on a roll ~ Here we have some reads I did recently:
My expectation of this manga – based on the cover – was that it was going to be a cliche Harlequin romance. You know – the pushy male, the wussy female lead, the running, the crying, the finally getting together, etc. I was NOT expecting digital penetration on page 1.
Me: （・□・；）the fuck?
So apparently, Ou no Emono wa Muku na Hanayome is straight up trashy smut. There are more panels dedicated to sex scenes than there are people who live in my apartment building (and I’ve got four floors, baby). What little story involves a fight for the throne between two brothers. Guess the king was straight up pimp and had two ladies in his life. Both gave birth to a child at the same time. The king recently passed and now a new successor is needed to rule.
And the way that’s chosen is based on a deer. A white deer!
Yup, the fate of the country rests on the shoulders of an albino bambi. But we’ve done weirder in life so I’ll let this one go.
The royal council people are explaining the rules to the two brothers but Brother 1 isn’t paying attention. He’s off perving.
Brother 1: *hands his brother a telescope* check out that rack on that white deer.
Brother 2: *looks* what deer? I just see a girl with – oh I get what you just did there
Brother 1 says fuck it to the white deer thing. Instead they should make the pretty bumpkin girl with the knockers their white deer. Whoever she chooses to marry will be the king.
Brother 2: I see nothing wrong with your idea of treating that woman like a tool.
On the day of the girl’s wedding to someone else (yeah she was engaged to marry and everything), Brother 1 kidnaps her and tells her he’s a prince and she’s to be his wife.
Him: :/ I don’t understand. I’m a P-R-I-N-C-E.
Brother 2 tries to work his magic by kidnapping the girl but then her old fiancee kidnaps her and then brother 1 kidnaps her back. After that kidnapping mess, the girl tells Brother 1 that she’ll be his wife if he leaves her old fiancee alone. When asked if she loves the fiancee, she tells him not really. She was just told to marry the dude. He was nice to her and that’s why she’s willing to be Brother 1’s wife to protect him.
Brother 1: I’m intrigued that you’re as shallow as me in motivation
Then we get to this smut scene that had me laughing.
So apparently chickie here is innocent as fuck – to the point where I don’t think she even knows that guys have penises.
Dude starts kissing her and reaches up to squeeze her breast. She tells him to stop. He asks why (other than the fact that he’s pretty much getting sex due to a deal the two made but whatever). She tells him her body is getting all tingly and she’s getting hot. It’s so weird.
Him: …uh, that’s call getting aroused…it’s…normal. （￣□￣；）
Her: my nipples are hard why!? （°o°；）
Him: …uh…did you not hear me the first time? It’s normal… （￣□￣；）
Her: omg don’t look! I think I’m peeing myself （°o°；）
Him: wha…no that’s probably just vaginal secretions. When you’re feeling good, the juices flow – wait, why do I know about the female body than you??? （￣□￣；）
Her: oh vaginal secretions? （°o°；） I didn’t know I could do that
Him: *concerned but continues with the make out session*
Her: omg is this what it means to feel good!? Suck harder on dem nipples!!! SUCK THEM LIKE A STRAW IN A THICK SHAKE!!!
Him: >___> *feels weird but complies*
Her: OMFG FEELING WEIRD AGAIN! *concerned*
Him: FOR THE FUCKING LAST TIME – YOU’RE GETTING AROUSED GEESUS JOSEPH MARY ٩(╬ʘ益ʘ╬)۶
Okay…yeah, you’re getting turned on.
And when you’re getting turned on, you want to be touched more. Like…*touches her vulvar* here.
Her: omg that’s where I pee don’t touch that
Him: n-no, I’m not touching that hole. Fuck bitch you have two holes down there – I’m touching the other one! DO I NEED TO GET YOU SOME GOOGLE IMAGES OF THE FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM!?
Fuck, this is where the sex happens.
THIS IS WHERE I STICK MY THING IN, OKAY!? (
Her: …my bad.
Him: it-it’s ok…you’re…dumb. No need to apologize. I’m just going to finger you now so you’ll get used to it. We can’t be having this conversation every time I want some pussy.
Her: OMG, YOUR DICK IS AMAZING
Him: THOSE ARE MY FINGERS HOW STUPID ARE YOU!?
What made the scene so funny was Brother 1’s face. It’s plain to see he just can’t anymore haha!
After all that, she gets kidnapped by Brother 2. Brother 1 gets shanked. She escapes and ends up at the fiancee’s place. He tries to drug her but she escapes. She goes back to Brother 1. All of a sudden she’s now in love with him. They leave to see Brother 1’s sister. Sis gives the girl a dress that girls wear on the night they get their first waka waka done. Main girl wears the dress. She and Brother 1 do the waka waka. Sis gets injured and Brother 1 leaves to check on her. Turns out it’s a lie so Brother 2 can once again kidnap the girl.
(shit, I think I’ve used the word “kidnap” more in this one post than I have in my entire blog!)
The main girl says she’ll marry Brother 2 if he calms his fucking self, stop with the kidnapping and leave Brother 1 alone. Brother is like yisssssssss and puts a dog collar on her because why the fuck not. At the wedding ceremony, Brother 1 appears to stop the wedding. He offers himself as a trade for the girl. Brother 2 agrees – not sure why since they both agreed that having the girl marry them would chose the heir to the throne but again, whatever. Brother 2 then decides to shank Brother 1 but a white deer comes in and stops the attack. All stare in wonder at the deer and Brother 1 is chosen to be the king. Little tid-bit but Brother 2 used his little henchman (who also has royal blood in him – dad got around) to kill the dad. Not sure we care but eh.
Reunited, Brother 1 and the main girl fuck each other’s brains out. They get married. Fuck some more. The end.
Oh and the old fiancee apologizes for drugging her – he was just trying to cover his ass.
Was definitely…a different read. The manga is based off a novel and you can feel a lot of things were left out, which made the pacing awkward. But you know what was more awkward? That sex scene where Brother 1 was pretty much giving a hands on sex education lecture. Think this is the first time I’ve ever read something like that!
Overall it wasn’t bad but I don’t know if I can recommend it to anyone ^^;
To clean my palette a bit, the next manga I read was Koi suru Harinezumi or Hedgehog in Love.
Plot: The dude on the cover is socially awkward. Combined with his “punch first ask questions later” mentality, he’s understandably not the most popular guy in class. The girl gets mixed up with him when she sees he’s not as crazy as rumors make him sound. He’s just prickly, like a porcupine (which I did not know you could have as a pet :Y). Pretty much the entire first manga deals with the girl working out her feels for the dude, the dude working on his feels in general, and shojo stuff.
I don’t really dabble too much into Flower manga cuz I never know what I’ll get. It’s usually 68% smut and 32% cute. I decided to take a risk and buy Hedgehog blind. All and all, I was pretty satisfied. The whole thing was pure shojo but it wasn’t too crazy. The main girl was ok though I agree with other reviews that say this girl gets a bit too space-case-y and wishy-washy. I can’t complain much about her. I mean, I just read a manga where a girl didn’t know what a vagina was. She set the bar pretty low haha.
I like the main dude. He’s prickly but he’s a sweetheart. I’m interested to know why he’s so quick to throw a punch tho!
The art was very cute. Like super girly cute. The particular way the hedgehogs are drawn was especially adorable (until I googled hedgehogs and found pictures of people/animals with their faces full of quills. Then I got scared of hedgehogs).
I’ll be continuing with Hedgehog though I’m fearing the love rivals that will probably pop up in the future. I hate love rivals…