On to magazine #2 post! Ciel Emerald Winter Edition! Unfortunately…
No shojo to be seen in volume #2 which lowered my spirits a bit. Was hoping the magazine would turn out to be like Ichirachi and have a balance of shojo and BL. Nope. Just all penises, save Hakkenden.
But I still read the magazine anyway, because that’s money I spent and it’s money that will not be wasted! Plus…I learned new words to add to my vocabulary:
Not words I hope to use much in life but still words…
Junjou Romantica by Nakamura Shungiku chapter 38
Sekaiichi Hatsukoi – Yokozawa Takafumi no Baai (Novel)
Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi – Onodera Ritsu no Baai by Nakamura Shungiku chapter 20
Sasaki-san wa Kare Ga Suki? (Sasaki-san Loves Him?) by Tammy Hakoishi chapter 1 & 2
Hakkenden by Abe Miyuki chapter 54
Toshishita Kareshi ni Semararetemasu (My Younger Boyfriend is Pressuring Me) by Aiba Kyouko chapter 3 & 4
Tonari no Banken / The Watch Dog Which Is Together (The Watchdog Next to Me) by Sugihara Chako chapter 2
Ichiban Suki! (I Love You the Most!) by Yumeuta Yotsuba
Kamisama Darling by Aiba Kyouko chapter 3 & 4
Kemono na Aniki ni Dekiaisaresugite Komaru (novel)
Hatsujou Drop (novel)
Dousemou Nigerarenai (No Matter What you Do, You Can’t Escape Me) by Masara Minase chapter 1 & 2
Junjo Mix by Nakamura Shungiku
Danna-sama wa Oni (novel)
Super Lovers by Abe Miyuki
Hybrid Child by Nakamura Shungiku
Sasaki-san wa Kare Ga Suki?
Sasaki is a man whose dick women want and men dream to have. He’s good looking, charismatic, and is always there to help out with a smile. Needless to say, he’s a popular man. But sorry ladies, he ain’t interested in dat vaginal cavity ~ Otherwise, why would this be in a BL magazine (THAT FALSELY PROMISES SHOJO >___>)?
One day, after helping out a lady from tripping and looking all cool while doing it (her: *spreads legs* TAKE ME! Him: uh…no thanks please put that away), he himself trips and is saved by a scruffy construction worker. As Sasaki is telling his doki doki-ing heart to calm the fuck down, the construction worker gets onto the ground and begs Sasaki to help him become a man like Sasaki – he’s got someone he’s got his eye on and he wants to be a man who Sasaki would give the seal approval to win over said someone (as someone who reads a LOT of shojo, pretty easy to figure out who that someone is :P). After some hesitation, Sasaki gives in. Can he turn Mr. Pluffy into Mr. Fuckme?
To cut to the chase, yes he can. After some initial drama, they both confess their feels. And they then butt fuck.
This was totally a shojo, only you have two penises involved in the equation. I really enjoyed the read. Both of these fools were totally cute.
Toshishita Kareshi ni Semararetemasu
I guess this is considered a new series. It was already running in some other mag but I guess since the manga-ka is working on Kamisama Darling in Emerald, someone decided fuck it, we’ll move her other work here too. Thus I don’t really know what’s going on, other than you have one dude who spends one chapter thinking his boyfriend is going to go back to being straight after he’s tired of butt punching him (which ends with the boyfriend going, uh no I like you and if anything, I want to butt sex you more. Dude: oh shit I don’t think my butthole can handle that, buddy… Boyfriend: let’s find out <3) and you have another chapter dedicated to boyfriend’s bro cockblocking all over (which ends with a peaceful resolution after the boyfriend indirectly tells his younger bro that he can suck dick cuz he loves his boyfriend (as he’s banging said boyfriend.) – I say “indirectly” because younger bro is hiding in the hallway watching/listening and older bro knows this, since he purposely left the bedroom door ajar. Yes it was very awkward…).
The fucking my boyfriend in front of my brother thing was a little lot creepy. Won’t lie. Otherwise it wasn’t bad.
Omg, this was a total shojo too. Childhood schoolmates Yuu and Kunihiko meet again in college. Back in the day, Kunihiko used to get teased due to his weight, however, thanks to Yuu, whose height scared bullies into coating their undies in skid marks, Kunihiko was able to enjoy an abuse-free school life. The two parted when Kunihiko’s parents had to relocate for work reasons and even though Kunihiko promised to write, the little shit never did. So you can imagine Yuu’s surprise at not only meeting his old friend again, but finding he’s transformed into a hottie! No longer chubby, puberty was kind to Kunihiko, to the point where women hunt after him. Oblivious to the vulvars snapping in his direction, Kunihiko just wants to hang out with Yuu (Yuu: dude, those girls are practically running at you pantsless. I think you’re wasting a good opportunity here. Kunihiko: meh vaginias. So did you watch the most recent episode of Adventure Time? :3). However, Yuu is having issues with his friend’s new bishi looks. There’s really no need for the two to hang around each other again. Kunihiko can handle the world by himself. I mean, he’s been doing alright these past 10 years (Yuu: not one gawddamn letter, Kunihiko, you little bitch?). This leads Yuu to avoid Kunihiko until some shojo bitches take Yuu out back and tell him to stay away from Kunihiko – they want that dick and his dick is in the way.
Yuu: is this really happening?
One of the girls throws in a slap but Kunihiko pops out of no where and takes the slap for Yuu. He then starts crying and tells the girls to stop picking on Yuu. Disgusted by his man tears, the girls give the boys the finger and leave. Yuu learns that even though his friend’s looks department went up 100%, he’s still the same on the inside. Kunihiko tells Yuu that after they parted, he wanted to improve himself from the wuss that needed Yuu to protect him. He started eating healthier, exercising and studying more. He was afraid to contact Yuu because he thought it’d break his resolve but lol 10 years went by with no contact oops! The two then proceed to confess their feels and butt fuck.
Not bad. Yuu needs to get some self-esteem building though.
Now, before I got to this title, I was thinking the stuff in Emerald wasn’t bad. It was all pretty much shojo, but everyone has a dick and the stories end with butt sex. But then I got to this piece of shit. This fucking thing that encompasses everything I think of when I think of bad yaoi – the rapists, the fucking you can’t leave him because he’s a rapist thing, the just why!?
So this dude – Ryou – goes to an afterschool social thing because his feminine friend is concerned about how he doesn’t have any other friends besides him and social interaction is healthy (and because how else would the story advance?). At the social, Ryou meets this dude that he barely knew for like 5 days when he was younger and had joined the same soccer team the dude was on because of his parents or something. Dude – Haruo – is like, “omg buddy! (*ﾟ⚙͠ ∀ ⚙͠)ﾉ” to which Ryou is like “don’t touch me. ༼ ಠل͟ಠ༽” Yada yada Haruo feigns he’s drunk and suckers Ryou to escort his sorry ass back to his apartment – specifically to drop him off onto his bed.
Ryou: “…well that specific request doesn’t sound strange at all.”
And when they get there, instead of Haruo flopping on the bed and puking or whatever drunk people do, he suddenly grabs Ryou and chucks his sweet buns onto the mattress. He then straddles Ryou, grabs Ryou’s package, and goes on a rant: “I know you’ve always hated me…and that fact made me fall for you. You were only on the soccer team for like 6 minutes…and I haven’t seen you since…but that doesn’t change the fact I’ve been loving you this whole time. And that’s why I’m going to stick my dick up your ass （´◉◞⊖◟◉｀）”
Ryou: “wait what was that about my ass?”
And here I’m like, Ryou, you’re a grown ass man, dude. Why are you shrieking like a girl? “Oh noes don’t hurt me ~” Push him off and rip his nipples off! Then I don’t even know how this happens but somehow Ryou’s hands get tied up via his own shirt all while Haruo is straddled on top of him and talking about the past and gripping that dick. But yo dude, 1.) your hands are tied above your head, not connected to anything. Meaning, you can move your arms and use them together as a club and fucking smash Haruo’s skull in or send him flying by slamming your arms into his face. At the very least you can push him off you. Just because your hands are tied together does not mean you have lost the ability to move your arms, like come on man. And 2.) you’ve got your legs. Haruo ain’t got no fucking weapon. And look at him – he’s a pretty boy. All you have to do is jackslap that plastic nose off his face and you’re good to go. I mean, Haruo has his face ALL UP IN your dick. Just crush his stupid face with your fucking man thighs, Ryou. Just crush it like a gawddamn watermelon. Fight you stupid fuck.
But he doesn’t and gets violated by Haruo. The next morning, Haruo presents Ryou with breakfast. “Made you waffles buddy after defiling you against your will :)” Naturally Ryou says fuck you and leaves.
Haruo: :( it was the waffles wasn’t it. Too much?
Long story short, they’re now in this fucked up relationship because Haruo took a picture of at some point of Ryou – not sure when but I don’t care since none of this is making sense – and threatens to show people. Like his parents!
Ryou: go ahead. I hate those fucks
Haruo: oh ah…uh…your friends! All ONE of them!
Ryou: oh you sick piece of shit!
And that’s pretty much chapter 1. Chapter 2 is Haruo getting all puffy about Ryou hanging with his friend and being natural with said friend. Haruo: Yo, why you always hanging with that friend of yours? Why you smiling and laughing with him? You never smile when you’re with me!!! :(
Well, dude that’s because you raped him. I don’t know how things work in your culture but people generally aren’t cool with people who shove dicks up their butts uninvited.
Haruo: …well fuck it I’m just going to force myself into your butt again.
(◉Θ◉) …who is your target audience. Please give them a number to seek psychological help because this isn’t healthy…
So…other than that last mentally scarring title, the other titles were fine (save Super Lovers – after last issue’s surprise family jerking, I didn’t even look in its direction). Kamisama Darling was pretty funny. The Junjo Mix was very cute – the theme for all the oneshots was “Your first…” and it was interesting to see how the theme played out for each of the couples. Tonari no Bangen was just messed up stupid – character A: DID YOU GET AN ERECTION OVER SEEING BOOBS? FUCKING WOMEN – YOU DON’T NEED THEM TO GET A WOODY I’LL SHOW YOU!!! Character B: uh no your shirtless body did it. Character A: oh well ok then :)
Still on the shelf about if I’ll collect future volumes…