Waratte Saitou-kun (Smile, Saitou-kun!!)

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Waratte Saito-kun (Smile, Saito-kun!!)

We’ll start the new year with a one-shot ~
Main girl Yui is currently “dating” “cool” classmate Saito. When around her, he either acts apathetic or just plain cold (- “cool” as Yui’s classmates like to describe him. Think “little bitch” would be better but whatevas). Naturally, Yui’s friends are concerned because her relationship with him is not really that healthy. Like, really…why? But like a victim in an abusive relationship, Yui is quick to defend her man. While he may seem like a dickweed cool to others, he’s actually super sweet. Awhile back, Yui tripped on her shojo-ness and skinned her knees. And rather than be like, “omg, are you okay? You’re fucking bleeding,” the people around her just laughed hysterically because apparently in shojo, getting injured to the point where bodily life fluids are leaking from torn open veins is funny. Only Saitou was the one who showed concern: “yo you okay? I think you may need to get your leg amputated because that mop water used here hasn’t been changed since I was a freshman…”
He hands her his handkerchief to I guess tend to her wound, but he does it without smiling (Yui is all about smiling).

And from there she’s been all: “I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUI LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU”
Him: “Please…stop. I just showed concern because…that’s just what normal people do.”
Her: “I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUI LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU”
Him: “Really…please stop.”
Her: “I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUI LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU will you go out with me? Cuz’ I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ”
Him: “FINE! If that’ll calm you!”
Her: “…excellent”

Since then, they’ve been an item (so to speak – Yui’s a little unclear if they’re really dating or if it’s just a thing she’s made up in her head haha). However, things haven’t been all love paradise for Yui. She asks her friends if it’s just her or does it seem like recently Saitou has been acting like a dick to Yui.
Friend 1: “uh, I think he’s always been a dick, girl.”
Friend 2: “Yeah…I don’t have a nose.” (he doesn’t xD)

This gets Yui to think: “you know…I’m his girlfriend but…that jackass doesn’t smile at me. He’s NEVER smiled at me. What the fuck is up with that?” :/

Later, Yui and her man are eating lunch and Yui asks what kind of shows Saitou likes to watch, to get some conversation going. And gets NOTHING (ಠ_ಠ) as a response.
Conversation starter fail!
Round 2:
Her: …ooooookay then! So uh…what do you…find amusing…what entertains you? I mean, you can’t be a cold stiff dick all the time. You have to have some redeeming qualities that made me stay with you.”

After a really long pause, like he’s trying to figure out the answer to the million dollar question on “WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE”, he responds by saying her name. And naturally she’s a bit confused.
Her: “wha – ? Me? The fuck does that even mean, dude? You like being with me or are you saying you find me entertaining? How about a full sentence instead of word, buddy?”

As she sits there bedazzled by what he meant, he finishes his meal and just leaves. Rather than be pissed that he only conversed about 6 words to her, she notices he polished off the lunch she made for him and gets happy, the “Yui” thing forgotten.

“I want to see him smile ~”

Jump to after school. It’s clean up time. And naturally that means slacking off. Yui and some chicks are talking. One chick says she’s going on a date with her BF. Everyone: SO JEALOUS! :D The other tells the first chick that Yui has a BF too.
And I’m not sure why she hesitates – probably because she has no confidence in their love – but Yui responds with “yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…about that.”
And guess who just happens to walk by for that long drawn out “yeah”?
Yui tells the other girl to have fun with her man in her stead ~
If the minute long “yeah” wasn’t enough to make Saitou depressed, Yui’s last comment got him putting on eyeliner and shopping at Hot Topic.

The friends disappear and Yui is off roaming the halls. She thinks, yeah, Saitou and I are dating. I don’t know why the hell I said what I did back there. I shouldn’t worry. She looks out a window and sees a girl confessing to a boy.

Saitou: whatcha doing?
Her: NOTHING! (ಠ_ಠ) (how did that foot smell, Saitou?) Not going to tell you I was perving on some people! Cuz I wasn’t.

He looks out the window and just sees a dude sitting on a bench reading while a girl is running off (yo, that’s the saddest after confession scene I’ve ever seen. Like…where’s the kissing? Where’s the looking dreamily into each other’s eye? What’s with this, ok sweet I’ll catch you later, thing? This ain’t life!).

Saitou: JEALOUSY!
Her: what?

Before she can get an answer, some other chicks come by and talk with Saitou. He smiles at them to which Yui let’s the rage out (after the chicks have left – no need to make a scene).
”Oh Oh Oh HELLLLL NOES. You’ll go smile at some tramp who’s too dumb to do a ponytail right but you won’t smile at me, YOUR GIRLFRIEND? EMM-MMM!”

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And then she confesses all the feels she’s been harboring.
To which he responds: “Are you lonely?”
Her: “what?” ಠ_ಠ
Him: *kisses* “How many kisses you need to get less lonely, sweet cheeks?”
Her: “yo wtf dude? I know this one-shot is only 12 pages but calm your fucking lips!”
Him: “WHO DO YOU LOVE!?”
Her: “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t…wha? Uhhhhh, you’re my boyfriend. I don’t think we need to ask the audience what the answer is.”
Him: “LIES! You’re a dumbass”

 

SAITOU

She calmly responds with an open palm kiss to the cheek.

Her: ok I don’t understand what’s wrong with you. I’m DATING you. I LOVE you. What the HELL else do you FUCKING want? What? Am I a turd in your bowl of water, the bowl of water that is your life, Saitou? Tell me the truth. Am I not an ice cube or a lemon, something that’d go well with your aqua state. Am I just this….fecal matter ruining your soul.”

And they stare at each other, awkward silence aplenty until it gets to the point where the girl apologizes for losing it and tells old boy he can yell at her in response.

Him: “I’m happy”

Her and me: omg this fucker is a masochist – oh hells to the no, I did not sign up for this. I got with you because you helped me with my bloody knee. Don’t tell me that was your way of saying you want me to bloody you the fuck up!?

Him: “That’s what I love about you. *finally smiles* To the point where I get jealous” (Nick Jonas’s Jealous plays in the background)

Her: what? I don’t understand. Jealous? Uh, I’m the one that’s jealous, with you flashing your pearly whites at everyone except me, YOUR GIRLFRIEND. The hell, you showing them your dick too, son? Hmph.”

She looks behind him through the window and since we only have 2 pages left, she’s like “ohhhhhh you must think I’ m hot for that guy sitting there reading his book…because that’s the logical conclusion I would have come up with.”

Him: “I’m your boyfriend, right?”
Her: “Of course!” :D

She smiles and runs up to hug him, thinking “I want to see him smile more ~”

The oneshot ends with her asking him to smile more and him saying he’s too nervous to, and acts like a dick all cool…pretty much putting us back to where we were at the beginning of this oneshot ^^;

thoughts

I didn’t understand what this fool’s problem was. Just…fucking smile. If you can smile at other people but not your girlfriend, that’s just weird… I can understand why this girl had issues. If I had a boyfriend like that, where I asked him to smile more, and he responds with “No. And no full sentences for conversing either,” I’d be thinking this isn’t going to work. It’s like wtf…
Wait, this was written by a 15 year old?
Yo wtf kind of relationships have you been in, girl? Girl!?

All in all, despite my bitching, it wasn’t a bad oneshot. There are definitely crazier out there. This one was like a little poke of “gah!”. On a side note, I used a recorder when making this post. Maybe because it’s been awhile since I last typed up a summary but it was kinda difficult to do one for Saitou-kun. I decided to record myself first and work from there. But apparently when I verbally summarize a story, I get weird. Not sure where the “turd” and the “bowl of water that is your life” came from. Maybe I had a bad poop that day? Whatever the reasoning, it helped give my fingers and brain a good work out. I’m hoping to work on more oneshots from Lala DX, but they probably won’t be as verbose as this one unless they’re fucked up or something good xD

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