The first chapter is always the longest because I have to introduce everyone and the world they live in. Going on from here should be a little easier :J
(this is a nice picture because it shows the entire cast. On the right you have Kagachi with Haru. On the left starting from the bottom going counter clockwise is bunny boy, raccoon dude, Narutaki, and fox boy)
The chapter opens with the October Godfest thing again but we still don’t about it at this point in time. The next page features a television show that specializes in the creepy and haunted.
And guess whose shrine is the highlight of today’s episode?
THE FUCKING MINT ICED TEA WITH A SIDE OF SHIT!? ﾒﾟ皿ﾟ)
He tackles the tv in rage, while his raccoon buddy pretty much says the lady on tv is right – their shrine is pretty shitty. This drives Kagachi to do the only sensible thing when made fun of – kill himself (good to know he’s still into that…). As his talking animals try to stop him, Haru walks in. She smiles at everyone and tells them ain’t tv great.
Kagachi: not when they’re calling your home a haunted dump…
Haru: oh how wonderful! The shrine was on tv :D
Kagach: ⇀ ⌂ ↼ …did you just put a positive spin on that?
Haru: :D power of shojo baby
We’re given some reiteration on what happened in the one shot – seeing as how the series started a few months after the one shot was first published. Kagachi is a loser god and Haru lives at his shrine. The end. Kagachi: (⑉･̆⌓･̆⑉) well shit you could have explained me a slightly better light…)
Haru smiles at Kagachi and tell him she loves the shrine they live at. She leaves and misses the nose bleed from Kagachi’s nose. He proclaims his bride is a cutie.
Raccoon: are you a pedophile as well as suicidal? She’s like 13 sicko.
This prompts Kagachi to throttle him. Kagachi then continues to talk as if he wasn’t just called a child predator. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, as long as Haru is around, everything is rainbows and unicorns. Why, when they get married, it’ll be even –
Raccoon: married? Honey, to your ass? Uh no.
Kagachi: ꀯ(‴ꑒ᷅⺫ꑒ᷄) I’m not afraid to use this noose, and I’m not talking about on myself.
The raccoon explains that Kagachi is a piece of shit, never mind the fact that he’s a god and she’s human. His shrine is believed to be haunted, he’s a lazy sack of turds, and he’s got no income. No higher god would allow his marriage. Plus Haru would be the only one to suffer. If Kagachi is serious about marrying Haru, he needs to become a man worth marrying her.
(kinda funny how in the one-shot the raccoon was all for Haru to become Kagachi’s bride haha)
This rude awakening prompts Kagachi to improve himself. However…it’s going to be hard when no one comes to the shrine. Can’t do your job when you don’t have customers. But that doesn’t stop Kagachi. He starts cleaning up the shrine, clearing out weeds and putting up signs. He also starts making talismans and whatnots that shrines offer. He even tries to put an advertisement in the local paper however he uses a scroll and the newspaper people think it’s a joke (so it doesn’t get published…Kagachi…lol no).
One day, people do come. Kagachi gets excited until he finds out these people are here not as worshipers. They’re here to graffiti the place. Pissed at their actions and the fact they dissed him and his shrine, Kagachi uses his aura to scare the kidneys out of the delinquents and they leave in a panic. Alone, Kagachi stares at the wall, a tear trickling down his face. He laughs to himself. It’s only natural for people to call the shrine haunted. It certainly looks the part. No one would come here to have their wishes heard…
He laughs some more before submerging his head into a vase full of water, screaming that he wishes to die. He screams some more then settles down. Seeing as how he’s a god, he doesn’t die and eventually pulls his head out of the jar. “Fuck ‘em” is what he pretty much says haha. He then wonders where everyone is. His wondering eventually leads him to question if Haru left him because he sucks… Rather than throw a shit fit like in the one-shot, he decides to be normal and go out looking for everyone.
We jump over to Haru to see she’s dressed as a shrine priestess, handing out flyers to visit Kagachi’s shrine. People take the flyers but promptly throw them on the ground like the littering sinners they are. However, each time someone drops a flyer, a hottie or cutie picks up the flyer and hands it back to said individual. Their looks spurs sudden interest in the flyers (o…k?)
And this is what Kagachi sees when he comes to town to look for her. His future bride handing out flyers. Seeing her work so hard makes Kagachi feel like shit. If only he did better, she wouldn’t have to be out here trying to attract visitors. He doesn’t have long to think about jumping into traffic when some dudes start hitting on Haru. And if it’s one thing that can fuel Kagachi into action, it’s jealousy. He flies to Haru’s side, snake pimps at his side. He scares the youths away, hopefully into a better life style. He scolds Haru for leaving herself vulnerable. What would have happened had he not been watching her from a distance??
She smiles at him and thanks him for helping her. He notices her hands are frozen and remarks how Haru walks towards her dreams while he just slits his wrists and cries. For him, having Haru around is happiness however he never thought of Haru’s happiness. He wants to change that.
As he throws his coat over her, he tells her he’s going to become a man worthy of her bride…or at least that’s what he thinks in his head. Turns out, he doesn’t have the balls to say it out loud lol. Two hotties come running up, asking if Haru is alright. Kagachi proceeds to kick one in the dick – had he not been there, she wouldn’t have! It turns out the hotties are actually the talking raccoon and rabbit! Guess they have the power to transform into people and both genders. Didn’t know that haha. Everyone goes home to watch tv. That “scary places that will help you poop better because that’s how scary they are” show comes on and guess who’s on there again?
Kagachi: :D are you fucking me!?
The hooligans from before talk about how creepy the place was and all they were doing was stopping by (Kagachi: I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU LITTLE PUNKS WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE! ‾͟͟͞(((ꎤ ✧曲✧)̂—̳͟͞͞o). People who had been given leaflets said their flyers turned into leaves the next day.
Kagachi: wtf man!?
Raccoon: hey we didn’t have money to go to Kinkos.
As Kagachi screams in rage, we pan outside to where two dudes are chillin. One asks why are they here. Doctor Who is coming on. The other tells the first to hush. They have business here. Also, Korra is where it’s at anyway.
So the dudes outside of Kagachi’s shrines barge in and the one dressed the most gaudiest is like, yo I’m awesome. But I’m so awesome that my eyes have been bothering me so I need help. Remember that banquet thing we keep mentioning at the beginning of each chapter but never really got into detail about?
Kagachi: uh…yeah I guess – do you want me to get you some tea or take your coat because you’re standing on what was my wall and it’s sort of upsetting…
Dude: Ain’t got no time, Home Skillet. As I was sayins, the party needs some bouncers. I’ve been bouncing for both the sky and the earth but my eye ain’t what it used to be. Only one eye and two places is lot. So I’m looking for some peeps to maybe bounce with me. You may be a suicidal turd but I ain’t got much options going on, son.
Kagachi: well you can keep on looking because you ain’t going to find no one here.
Dude: fucking pussy. I’m out before my dick vomits from your wussass attitude and weaksauce shrine. The fuck was I thinking?
By going in Kagachi’s head, we learn the reason Kagachi wusses out is because the job of a bouncer is highly respected but if you mess it up, your ass gonna never be able to find employment again. After all the shit he went through in the past, Kagachi doesn’t have any confidence in his ability to do crap. Thus why he was a hobo in the one shot.
Before the dudes can leave, the talking raccoon whips his dick out pretty much and waves it at one of the dudes (fox boy familiar) and they go at it (as in fighting lol) (in actuality, the raccoon dissed Narutaki which is a big no no in the fox’s book). They end up beating the crap out of each other. Kagachi apologizes for his familiar’s behavior (raccoon: I ain’t apologizing to this shrinky dick fool :/) and agrees to let the two dudes stay until the fox boy gets better.
The guady dude – Narutaki – then asks about Haru. What’s up with the human? Kagachi: really? You’re asking now after all this time has gone by? He doesn’t give much, just that she lives here due to reasons. Narutaki then tells Kagachi he’s a wuss – rather than work and get ahead in life or do things, he’d rather just sit at home with his woman. Lame.
Kagachi: (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)凸
Narutaki leaves. Kagachi grumbles about how if he was super chocolatey awesome like Narutaki, yeah he’d do the bouncer job no prob. Hell why stop at bouncer when he can be a pimp? But if he failed, he’d be in a state worse than the one he’s already in. No matter all the good he did or how much he helped out his worshippers in the past, it all went to shit in an instant. He already lost his status. To lose Haru would break him.
We jump to Haru who’s making dinner. She went outside to fetch some eggs from who knows where. While walking back, she spots Narutaki and Fox Boy talking. However, rather than be all “mightier than thou” like earlier, Narutaki is acting like a pussy. What!? Conveniently she steps on the only twig around, alerting her presence to the two. Fox Boy jumps to attack, ready to severe her legs off but Narutaki stops him by crying haha.
Haru asks a legit question – is Narutaki suffering from some sort of mental disorder, like split personality or bipolarity? Fox Boy explains that Narutaki is normally the pansy you see before him. However, no one would respect that so he puts on airs as the asshole we met in the beginning of the chapter.
Haru: did he really have to be an asshole though?
Fox boy: everyone loves an asshole
Narutaki asks Haru to keep his secret from Kagachi. Before she can give an answer, Kagachi appears, asking what everyone’s doing, standing around in the rain. Narutaki goes asshole and tells Kagachi to stick his nose into his own ass, not into his business. They leave, with Fox Boy whispering to Haru that if Narutaki’s secret is revealed, he’ll destroy the mountain. Kagachi asks Haru what that was all about. Apparently Haru is very terrible at hiding secrets because she clearly looks uncomfortable as she avoids his eyes and tells him nothing. She tries to walk past him but he stops her, pinning her to a wall. This time his jealousy issues pop – women are all alike. In walks a guy with great hair and money and the bitches go running after him. Why settle for a loser hobo snake when a rich asshole dragon is a better option? Kagachi starts to transform and aims his pretty whites for Haru’s neck.
“If you’re going to be taken from me, I wonder if I should just break you and gulp down your heart?”
Remember that tv show that showcased Kagachi’s shrine as a nice haunted spot for the family to visit? Well they’re doing another feature on the shrine and walk in on Kagachi in his half snake form sniffing Haru’s neck.
Them: holy shit we were just doing this for kicks
Haru tries to tell them to relax but they instead insist she’s possessed and run off with her thrown over the shoulder like a sack of shit all while Kagachi just sits there. Nice work Kagachi. Okay, we can’t blame him too much because Narutaki was holding him back. Why? I’m not too sure.
When asked why he stopped Kagachi from rescuing Haru, Narutaki replies by throwing him to the ground with a facial expression that seems to be disgusted at the fact he touched another man. He tells Kagachi to calm down. Attacking little girls because he’s got issues is sad. He remarks how 100 years ago, Kagachi had woman problems too. He was given a female human sacrifice from the villagers right? The talking rabbit who just randomly appears says that was due to a misunderstanding but Narutaki cuts him off.
“Like father, like son.”
We jump over to Haru who is locked up in a shed. She asks to be let out but the people refuse, saying she’s under hypnosis and until a ceremony is performed to exorcise her, she cannot be let out for fear of returning to the snake demon. Haru: :/ well shit
We go back to Kagachi who is staring at a sword. He thinks about the past again. Other snake people are yelling at Kagachi for accepting a human sacrifice from his worshipers. Kagachi tries to explain that she wasn’t offered as a sacrifice but as a bride but is cut off like the rabbit was 100 years in the future. One of the snake men tells Kagachi he is a hairy turd on the family name, probably because he’s a direct blood relation to Yamata no Orochi.
(If you don’t know who Orochi is, I highly recommend looking at the wiki article. Because whoever wrote it didn’t keep people’s names. S/he translated them to the literal meaning. So you have a guy named His-Swift-impetuous-Male-Augustness running around talking to people like Foot-Stroking-Elder and his wife Hand-Stroking Elder xD)
The snake man throws a sword at Kagachi. He tell Kagachi they’ll over look his actions this time (Kagachi: I TOLD YOU IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING DAMMIT!) but no more. If he messes up again, Kagachi better go kill himself first.
So this may explain why Kagachi is so suicidal. Kinda hard when your uncle or whatever tells you to go die and gives you the means to do said task.
We’re brought back to the present. Kagachi is looking at the sword, mumbling how he doesn’t have the right to die (wtf?). The talking raccoon comes running in. Kagachi tells the familiar he doesn’t need assistance with his suicide (didn’t you just say you didn’t have the right to die!? Make your mind up, son!).
Raccoon: one of these days we really need to sit you down and go over these suicidal tendencies of yours but today is not going to be that day. IT’S RAINING LIKE CRAZY OUT THERE IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED AND MUD SLIDES MIGHT BE HAPPENING SO GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR CUZ HARU IS STUCK IN A HUT ON THE MOUNTAINS!
At the word “Haru” Kagachi jumps into action. As he runs, he thinks, how he needs to stop thinking of himself. He wants Haru to be the happy one (and chewing on necks isn’t part of the plan..unless she’s into that sort of thing).
We powerslide over to Haru. The TV crew want to leave but the main star refuses. If they let Haru go, she’ll just be a possessed zombie again. While everyone argues, a mudslide happens. However, Kagachi goes full snake in time to stop the mudslide with his own body.
Haru, all this time realizing she had to push the door to open, not pull, (I’m serious folks), goes outside and finds snake Kagachi in the middle of a bunch of rocks. She runs to him and hugs him.
“Kagachi! You came!”
The two relocate and Kagachi checks on Haru – physically and mentally sound? Yup? Sweet. Haru stares at Kagachi, making him nervous. He asks wtf and Haru smiles, saying she’s relieved he’s not angry no more (man, she must like being pinned to stuff because this is the second time she hasn’t said anything about that). Kagachi reflects on his behavior before and apologizes to Haru. He didn’t mean to scare her. He was just jealous. In fact he gets jealous whenever any man or thing looks at her FYI. Also he’s a loser who has no place to be a bouncer and you know, if you want to go on to bigger and better things, he’d understand. At this point Haru loses it and headbutts him, much to his surprise.
Kagachi: bitch just punched me with her face (◉Θ◉)
She tells Kagachi to stop being dumb. It doesn’t matter if he’s a high roller or a peanut, her god will always be Kagachi. And if he goofs, well, she’ll be right there to see him through to his next attempt. At her words, Kagachi starts to get teary-eyed. No one has ever stayed with him after a fall (raccoon and rabbit: COUGH!) so he’s never thought of having a second chance if he fails the first time. Surprised by his man tears, Haru leans in and licks them away.
Haru laughs and says it’s payback for what he did in chapter 0. He smiles and pulls her close into a hug.
So whatever happened to the rest of the camera crew? They were saved too, kind of. The raccoon decides that even though they lived, they have seen too much. Might as well bury them and chalk up their death due to the mud slide (lol the raccoon!) :D
Narutaki steps in and is like, no. How about I just erase their memories and we don’t live with a guilty conscious? And for a bonus of sprinkles, I’ll make it so their tv program advertises the shrine in a good light.
When asked about his feels on Kagachi, Narutaki is like “yo he turned into a giant ass snake and stopped a mudslide from killing everyone. He’s as powerful as his ancestor. However, he’s really suicidal and jelly which he needs to work on because that’s not healthy. But, if he instead focuses his energy into protecting instead of trying to kill himself, then he can become a great god.
Raccoon: …we’re talking about the same person right? I can’t see that last bit happening…
Haru is back with the crew. Kagachi apologizes to Narutaki for the craziness. You know hormones ;P
Narutaki: we’re gods not pubescent boys ⇀ ‸ ↼
He and Fox Boy turn to leave. However, Kagachi calls out to him. Before Kagachi didn’t have any confidence in himself but after everything that has happened and Haru’s words of encouragement to him, he’s finally ready to take a step forward again. He tells Narutaki he’s interested in trying out for the bouncer position. Though he’s shaking visibly, he grabs a hold of Haru’s hand and doesn’t back down. After staring at Kagachi uncomfortably for a few minutes, Narutaki throws a book at Kagachi’s head, with an expression like he’s still disgusted about touching Kagachi in the beginning of the chapter. He tells Kagachi everything he needs to study for is in that book. Toodles.
Haru rushes out after Narutaki and Fox Boy. Since Kagachi isn’t around, Narutaki is back to being slow Narutaki. Heeee leaves <3 He tells her to take care of Kagachi. Haru nods but proceeds to ask about Narutaki’s secret. She can’t keep something like that from Kagachi – look what happened before. Narutaki puts a finger to her lips, cutting her off. He tells her she better keep the secret or else he’ll lock her away and force her to watch Hannah Montana on repeat. Because that’ll keep a leash on Kagachi as well somehow.
They leave with Haru staring slack jawed.
The talking raccoon is very pleased that his master is actually going to do something with his life. They can finally be Facebook friends! Kagachi laughs confidently that he’s got this shit until he opens the book and reads the contents inside.
Kagachi: ahaha never mind, let me just kill myself instead ~
Raccoon: don’t you fucking even!
The last bit in the tank is a short about gods and suicide. After a failed suicide attempt, Kagachi is passed out on the floor with the talking raccoon staring at him like “dumbass.” Haru walks by and asks the raccoon if Kagachi really can kill himself. The raccoon tells her of course not. He’s a god. The way for a god to die is to have no worshipers. When you’re not remembered, you’re no longer present. If you look closely at one of Kagachi’s ties, you’ll see a coin tied there. This offering acts as proof that someone remembers him and thus why he hasn’t disappeared. Haru decides she needs to pray more to make sure Kagachi doesn’t disappear. The raccoon says Haru doesn’t have to. She’s already provided him with all the belief he needs (the coin is hers from 3 years ago – don’t ask how Kagachi stayed alive for the rest of the 97 years since the incident with the villagers).
And there you have it, tank #1 done ~ I have no clue when tank #2 will be out but you can bet your sweet Hawaiian bun rolls I’ll be working on it when it gets released :J I’m hoping the next tank will expand on what happened all those years ago because right now it doesn’t deliver the emotional impact it’s supposed to have. I want to see Kagachi in love with this chick and then I’ll understand why he feels so crushed and broken by her freak out. As of right now, it’s like watching someone in a movie pull out a knife. It’s freaky but it doesn’t really affect me.