Lucky people ~ while I was out sick with food poisoning, it gave me time to read Shiro Ari #5 (between watching Hakkenden and playing Saints Row 3 and dying).
I remember someone asking for summaries awhile back but I couldn’t remember where they wanted me to start so I figured I might as well tackle tank #5 since I’m reading it haha
(if you’d like other tanks of Shiro Ari summarized, let me know ~)
(guess I should wait until after you all read my summaries. They’re going to be like the Kuranoa tank #2 ones – quick and dirty)
Chapter 28 #Apple Hunt
Snow has won over Elite in the previous chapter after clearing the misunderstandings between them (he thought she was a whore who used her feminine charm to make men (Happy and Dopey) do her bidding because she’s a whore and that’s just what whores do – yeah I don’t get it either). Snow wins additional brownie points as well when she makes crochets, Elite’s favorite dish, and she makes them awesome. Like seriously, I think Elite was going to literally fornicate with his potato meal had Happy not shown up and be like, “must be nice to eat a home cook meal by Snow. MUST BE NICE dude what are you doing with your dick?”
The meat of the chapter is when Happy, Dopey, and Snow go to investigate Elite’s plantation (the words “elite” + “plantation” sounds so wrong if you know American history…) in hopes of finding the “Golden Apple” that Snow’s been searching for (they easily get permission when Snow starts waving those fuckable crochets in front of Elite’s face *Elite sits on his penis to calm it*). They find a lot of weird shit there (I seriously think one of those vegetables is vagina shaped o__o) but no Erdapfel. It seems the trip was a waste until Dopey spots something up in the trees. It’s golden. It’s in a tree. Is it!?
Lol nope it’s a potato
(Elite loves crochets so much he made potatoes grow on trees so he’d have more ingredients for said crochets. Damn, if only I could be that dedicated…)
In the end, they rush back to Elite and throw the tree growing potatoes at him – wtf man? WTF?
That’s when Elite tells them what they’re looking for may not be an apple…but a potato.
Things to note:
- Elite is a mad scientist, thus the potatoes growing in trees and vagina berries.
- One of his experiments caused Happy’s hair to get dyed pink permanently
Chapter 29 #Race
So Elite breaks it down. Potato = Erdapfel (no idea where that came from) = Apple of the Earth.
TL:DR: it’s a potato
Snow’s target is a golden potato…
Elite explains that the potato they’re looking for can be found on the northern portion of the forest. He then proceeds to rage about all the potatoes Happy had brought home with them just to throw at Elite for effect. Snow promises to make crochets and calms the situation down.
The next day, Elite, Happy, and Dopey go off on some errand. They promise to help Snow find those legendary potatoes she’s been looking for when the get back. We should note here that Happy isn’t happy that more of the dwarves are liking on Snow. That’s his territory. Snow stays home and isn’t happy about just sitting around. She’s got legs. She can look while they’re away (lol Snow…do you not remember the weirdo in bandages who assaulted you in the last chapter? Really?). The past forgotten, Snow heads out only to be stopped by Mirror. He tells her it’s better she didn’t look for the Gold Apple. He comments that it’s a ridiculous item and starts to walk away like an NPC after they’re done with their prattle. Snow chases after Mirror, wanting a more in depth explanation. And pretty much the whole chapter deals with Snow bumping into the remaining dwarves that she hasn’t completely won over just to remind us they’re still here.
The chapter ends with Happy walking home, in his arms is a bucket filled to the brim with potatoes. Seems after their mission, Happy decided to go and explore the northern side of the forest for the potatoes Elite mentioned. He’s super ecstatic about how Snow will react to him bringing home the thing she’s been looking for. Hell, she’s probably going to want to marry him for his awesome deed. “SUCK IT DOPEY AND ELITE! SUCK IT RIGHT IN BETWEEN MY LEGS!” A call from above breaks Happy out of his daydream. It’s Smart. He’s like, “oh hey you found the thing” and Happy replies “yup I found the thing!” Smart goes “whoa, good job, bro. Man, sucks that Snow will be leaving us then.” Happy’s happy trips on itself. “Huh?” Smart explains that once Snow gets her thing, she’ll be heading home, right? No point in sticking in a joint filled with virgins anymore. This installs doubt into Happy’s mind. Should he give her the goods and risk her leaving, or not and have her stay longer?
“Is her wish stronger than your avarice, hmm Happy?”
The chapter ends with both Smart and Mirror staring down at a conflicted Happy. Smart’s like, “welp I did my part. This should keep her sticking around in our celibacy pad a while longer.” Mirror doesn’t reply. He just looks grumpy. Smart comments on this, saying that Mirror is acting like he’s the one who broke Happy. “Look at me. I live with the guy and I don’t give a shit ~ :) ”
“Forget it. This is fine. Snow White has no need for a mother…or a prince. As she keeps missing the golden apple, I’ll put an end to this all.”
In the present time, Snow opens her eyes.
Note: it’s hinted that Happy went back to Snow empty-handed.
Chapter 30 #Flower
“When you smile, the world becomes a brighter place.”
Snow wakes up. Next to her is Alice, who is holding onto one of her hands, however, because she’s still disoriented, she doesn’t realize this. This gives Alice time to not only let go of her hand but also to sweep away some scattered flowers next to her head. Alice explains she was out for an entire day. Snow tries to recall the events from before her nap. Apples. March kicking Cat ass. Alice’s ring getting stolen – “ofjalfjafjklajdfkj the ring!” Alice is like, “yeah that’s not something I wanted brought up first but since you did…” They change locations to a room with a big screen. Seems March put a tracking device on Cheshire while they were fighting. The gang has been tracking Cheshire while Snow was out. Thus far he hasn’t made his way to where the Red King is. March: “Because he’s a motherfucker.” Alice: “Yeah, this is a shojo manga and I don’t think we can say that…we’ll just go with he’s toying with us.” Hatter comes wheeling in and hollas at Snow. He comments that he’s happy she’s back because Alice was ALLLLLL sorts of weird when she was out. Like, he was all grabbing her hands and then he took some flowers and sprinkled the petals around her, like really trippy shit, girl. Alice: “you want me to grab your balls and sprinkle them about?” t(°□°) That gets rid of Hatter. To change the topic, Alice decides to explain what tracking devices are but Snow already knows about them. Her friend back home always put one on her.
Snow: ? (@^▽^@)
Alice asks if this is the same person that kisses her all the time. Snow is like, “nah, different bro.” Hatter: “wait wtf was that about kissing?” Snow then thinks about the past. She remembers the dwarves…and that they found the golden apple potato thing but then…what happened? Seeing Alice angry about how many men Snow had in her previous life and Snow disturbed about her flakey memories, Hatter forcefully suggests the two go out and find a nice place to clear their heads and promptly kicks them out. Alice thinks for a bit and takes Snow to a huge garden called “The Garden of Live Flowers.” No matter the season, the flowers are always in bloom. Snow remembers the time before she passed out, when Alice gave her a bunch of lucky clovers. She thanks him, much to his embarrassment. As she goes off to frolic in the flowers, Alice curls into a ball of shame. A flower garden? Could he get anymore girly in his choice of venue? Why not suggest a shopping trip to Forever 21 geezus! He thinks back about when Snow was in her one day coma. With her eyes closed, she’s pretty much pure white. Wanting to add some color, Alice grabbed some flowers nearby and showered them about her. This is when Hatter drove by and then reversed back like, “wait wtf?” As Alice looked down at the prone Snow and the flowers around her, he thought ,“No…this isn’t right. This isn’t right at all. The color I want to see is…a more…different…different…” We’re brought to the present. Snow calls out to Alice, a huge smile on her face. “Oh.” Before Alice can say what he was thinking, a flower crown lands on his head (I thought this had a specific name but google told me to stfu when I asked…). Snow made it with the help of some local critters. Alice further gets depressed about how his manhood is in danger…now he’s wearing flowers in his hair. Might as well chop the dick off right here and now! He’s broken out of his thoughts when Snow pushes her index finger in the space between his eyes and makes note of the furrow he has going on. Alice is in confusion about this new Snow. She’s much more…affable. Not that it’s a bad thing. He grabs on to Snow’s hand when she tries to back off. “I think it’s better when you smile. Yeah, I’d like it if you’d smile more…” He grabs a flower and starts to wrap it around her ring finger. As his fingers do their magic, his mind races to figure out what the hell is up with him too? Why’s he acting all weird. Could it be he just wants to protect her? Kind of dumb but whatever.
When he’s done, he looks up, telling Snow the flower ring is payment for the flower crown. Snow’s face is completely red which in turn makes Alice turn red. He then yells at her, “why are you red!?” Her: “I don’t know!” Him: “Well stop it because you’re making me red!” Her: “I can’t!” Him: “akldsfjakldjsfkldjf!” Her: “dkajfladjfklj!!!!!”
They walk back. Snow comments how she feels like it’s been forever since they last talked. Was it because she had been sleeping for such a long time? Alice is quiet for a few seconds before turning to her. He tells her he wants to know more about her – where she came from, where she lived, everything up until they met. The chapter ends with three familiar faces – Happy…Grumpy and Crazy??
Chapter 31 #Lost
A short chapter. The three dwarves are on their way to Hatter’s Café in hopes of garnering some information about their surroundings. None of them really want to go gather information. They’d rather find Snow first. But the thought of meeting Alice who’s been living together with her under the same roof fuels homicidal thoughts in them and they can’t be killing the guy they’re supposed to help hur. As they’re walking, they think about how much Snow remembers. Grumpy and Crazy get down in the pits because if Snow only remembers the beginning parts of her stay with the Dwarves, then that mean she only remembers when Grumpy and Crazy were respective pricks and dicks to her. They comment how Happy is lucky – he was always sweet to her. He didn’t do anything bad like they did. Though Happy keeps it in the inside, he remembers the golden apple fiasco with Smart. Oh boys, if only you knew. Anyway, stuff happens and basically all we care about is that Happy falls off a cliff. This leads them to finding Hatter’s Café. Inside, they find not Hatter, but Alice leaning real close to Snow’s face. Wut?
Part 1 done ~