Lala, Issue 3 2014

takeshi2Nothing much to blog about this issue…honestly I only really blogged in detail about Last Game’s chapter and Human System chapter 2. However, the reason for the great bulk in this post is due to Human System. It was so ridiculous that I ended up writing a full Tid-Bits like summary on it. I just…well, you’ll see. So many face-palming moments. I’m glad I read the Lala magazine because I would have cried had I bought the tank owo; The execution and pacing is so asinine that those with no Japanese understanding will be on equal footing with those that do understand Japanese – basically, no one will have any idea what’s going on haha.

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Ah, enough of my bathers! To the post!

With Last Game chapter 28, we visit Souma’s family in the sticks. For a guy that calls himself a peasant, he lives in a VERY nice. His house is maybe two stories high but damn thing is like 50 miles wide D: MY RELATIVES IN THE STICKS DON’T HAVE THAT SHIT! IF YOU’RE A PEASANT SOUMA WHAT DOES THAT MAKE MY FAMILY!? TRASH!? D:<
Ahem. Kujou is all confused about Yanagi’s drunk kiss from the last chapter, however since Yanagi was under the influence, he doesn’t know wtf is going on with her. Expect lots of blushing and running away. Randomly inserted between their drama is some unrequited love angst from the love rivals who no one still cares about haha. The chapter ends with a possible father vs son showdown with Souma and his dad (seems dad isn’t happy about his son becoming a townie).

Human System chapter 2

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The chapter starts with a train conductor commenting on the number of fugly passengers they have today (like, no joke. First line). Someone talks about the increase in police activity while another blathers about a rumor concerning the reappearance of the late king’s daughter recently. Finally we have Aster/the caretaker screaming at the robot for stinging like a Beedrill and dancing like a Butterfree in the last chapter. Now EVERYONE knows the princess is alive. THANKS! ┻━┻ ︵╰(ಠ益ಠ)╯︵ ┻━┻

Robot: I DIDN’T SEE YOU DOING MUCH TO PROTECT US, UNLESS SHITTING YOURSELF IS CONSIDERED AN OFFENSIVE MOVE! >:/

The robot isn’t actually listening. Instead he is monologuing to help bring us readers up to speed with what’s going on. Also he’s crying over the late king saying the robot is a thing and sucks dick boo hoo (guess he’s sensitive about that *shrugs*). Note that all this time, Aster has been babbling non-stop – and they’re supposed to be hiding out as stowaways on this train – so it comes to no surprise that one of the train peeps walking by overhears Aster’s howls and kicks the door open – ALRIGHT YOU CRAZY KIDS! NO HAVING SEX ON THE LUGGAGE! t(°□°t) The three run…I don’t know where to since they’re in a fucking luggage car but they’re going. Aster – never one to STFU – cries how they have to ride this train to catch another train which will take them to main chick’s grammie/her grammie’s peeps who will take them to grammie (Aster kinda slipped here about something important but being a motormouth will do that). The robot is like, look do you want me to break their necks? That’s kinda my job. (≖ω≖) However, the main girl whines that the robot can’t be all about killing. He gotta calm himself. Before any of us can sigh in exasperation about her no fighting stance, an explosion occurs. Following the explosion are bursts of gun fire that end up killing the people chasing the three (Robot: see, problem solved. Go violence (≖ω≖) ✧). Mass panic happens. Caretaker dude tells the robot to take the main chick and get her out of there. The robot’s like sure and throws her over her shoulder as caretaker dude gets swept away in a human wave…and I’m not sure where that human wave came from because aren’t we still in the luggage compartment??? And I’m not sure why the robot didn’t just throw caretaker dude over his shoulder too since he’s a fucking robot but I guess that was due to plot reasons? Anyway, the main chick is all noes we can’t leave Aster while the robot is like, forget him – Aster is dead to us. He runs away with her…straight into the guys shooting people. Like…fucking hell!? Who runs TOWARDS the gun fire??? WHO!? щ(゚д゚щ)

Robot:  (≖ω≖) ✧this smart fool

The guys with the guns don’t even question why the robot came towards them . They just get straight to business. “That girl with you? Yup, that’s probably the princess. Okays, come with us.”

The two put up no fight and go with the people that just opened fire on a crowded train because why not. The people explain they are a resistance group hoping to free Robert from Straight…(me: and shooting innocent people solves that how?). They babble for a few panels about how Straight sucks and they rule. Then they ask the princess to be their figurehead to inspire others to join their cause. After all, she must be snorting mad about her dad blowing himself up and shit, right? Main girl explains that she doesn’t remember what happened, however, she does know that her daddy would not have approved about popping some random people’s asses full of lead. The resistance guy doing the talking just laughs. Oh, you’re such a nice girl. You must be tired. Go walk around the village. Such a nice girl.

Me: UH PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY YOU WERE SHOOTING A TRAIN FILLED WITH TRAVELERS JUST TRYING TO GET PLACES! WERE THERE ENEMIES ON BOARD? WAS THERE A REASON OR DO YOU ALL JUST HATE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION THAT MUCH!? HOW IS THIS PART OF YOUR PLAN!? CONFUSION! t(°□°t)

Main girl and the robot decide to go and walk around like the crazy resistance man said. As they walk out, people whisper about the robot (don’t think they know he’s a robot…since his “serial number” on his neck is hidden with a bandaid). Who dat dick? Is he her seeing eye bishi? From that conversation, the robot deduces the resistance people plan on keeping them under house arrest (ಠ_ಠ and you think this why?). He goes on to say these people are dumbfucks. You get one dumbfuck that’s not afraid of public speaking to rally the other dumbfucks and suddenly they think they can conquer the world. They’ll do whatever to get their victory. Best to take them out now before they go even crazier. Naturally the main girl tells the robot to stop talking about murdering off people. It’s not right.

Him: ಠ_ಠ I know you’re blind but surely you heard the bullets spraying back there on that train…

She then asks why they got off the train (this is confusing me because it makes it seem like the robot and her jumped off the train when escaping which would explain the jumping panel in the beginning but not because how the fuck did the people inside get blasted with gun fire (also why the resistance people were shown inside the train) – if the resistance people were standing by the tracks, then the train would have passed them and left their asses in the dust. But then again, we have a magical luggage compartment where people can run for ages so why rationalize things). The robot explains the train had flown off the tracks (what!? when did this happen????) and it wasn’t the best idea to just hang around with a train flying off its tracks. (Him: I know you’re blind, but really, this is getting old…). The girl yells at him – “I wasn’t asking about the fact our lives were in danger, I’m talking about why you left Astor’s ass in the dust.” The robot stares at the girl like she just unleashed a wild stinky load right there. “Uh…because he told me to?” *shrugs* The girl grabs on to him and starts to lecture the robot. People aren’t things. They can’t be replaced. You can’t just say fuck you and abandon our asses or shank us. You gotta respect the man.

The robot remembers the old king’s words “I can talk my face blue about how awesome we people are but you too re re for dat, robot.” Anything with the king is a sore subject for the robot. “How am I supposed to know about that? So, what would you like me to do instead?” (Yeah, I’m with the robot – what do you want him to do?) He tells her “the awesomeness” of humans ain’t all that great if she can’t protect her sorry butt. When she tries to protest, he cuts her off with a yell:

“What do you want this THING to do!?”

After having his say, the robot gracefully turns around (no really, if you look at the panel, he looks like he’s about to start twirling like a ballerina). The girl reaches out for him but the power of shojo intervenes and puts a pebble in her way. She stumbles to the ground. The robot leaves because f you bitch. Alone without her caretaker, the girl is assaulted with voices from all around her. Someone reaches out to grab her and –

We hop over to the robot who is punch walls because why not. I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot haha. A random village boy pops up and tells the robot he punches good. Robot =__= wtf do you want? The boy guesses the robot must be the main chick’s protector/knight. Everyone is happy that main chick is here. Look, there she is being swallowed by a mob of villagers :) They all want her blessing and everyone loves Robert peeps.

We switch over to the girl who is getting overwhelmed by the masses. Voices and hands reaching out to her are too much and she starts to faint (me: :/).

“It’s not that I don’t want to be admired by people. Rather, I want to find the meaning behind this world.”

The hell? O__o

That weirdness aside, she is saved from faceplanting on the ground when the robot guy catches her (not sure how he got in there since she’s ass deep in villagers but again, why question this). He tells the villagers the main chick is tired and they need to lay off. Alone, the main chick tells how ever since she lost her eye sight, she’s been scared of being touched by strangers, especially if those people are Robert citizens. Her family couldn’t protect Robert so isn’t it only natural for the people to hate her? She then goes on to say her family believed in non-violent approaches (which is probably why they lost the war to Straight – can’t win a war waggling your finger, son) and because they didn’t believe in kicking ass, that made them weak.

(lol I love the note I have written here – “didn’t the king suicide bomb it!? What part of that is non-violence!?”)

The main chick tells the robot that had her family just picked up a sword, things probably would have ended differently (another note I wrote: “look, you’re blind and an orphan. Can’t really get any worse”) (note #2: “no it definitely would have ended better”).

(haha I’m such an ass!!!)

The robot – being random – picks up the main chick. “Can you hear them?” The sound of the people celebrating and being happy and shit. This is proof that they believe in the royal family. That they do not hate you. The main girl gets a bit emotional. After “seeing” the nice thing he did for her, she apologizes for earlier. The reason she gets pissy is because she believes all life has significance – and that doesn’t just apply to humans. She tells the robot that once someone is dead, that’s it. End of the story. It’s sad and she wants the robot to understand that. The robot asks if he and his robot buddies have that there significance too. The main chick laughs. No, of course not ~ lol jk she tells him of course ~ look at how many times he’s saved her bacon? :) She thanks him for staying by her side. The robot is overcomed (totally not a word but I’m using it) by feels he can’t understand. He pulls her into a hug.

“My chest is warm…and yet at the same time, I feel pain.”

Somehow through touching her hair, the main girl senses the robot’s been injured (the hell?). He tells her it’s nothing. He was just punching walls like a dumbass. He then goes on to explain about nano machines and how his body will heal itself and yadda yadda. She’s like, dat so cool and he’s like, yeah kinda. Seeing as how it’s getting late, he takes a hold of her hand to lead her back to the crazy resistance peeps. He then mumbles about how even a sham like him can have the power to protect someone (you’re a damn robot with super strength – of course you have the power to protect people – jeepers!). Hearing the robot’s words triggers something in the main chick’s mind…..sham?

Night comes. Three dudes in cloaks get ready for whatever they have planned. We zoom over to the robot and the main chick who are in a prison cell!? wtf there are bars on the window, and like jack shit in the room. The robot doesn’t even get a bed??? O__o If this is their form of hospitality I don’t even want to know how prisoners are treated! Anyway, someone calls out to them – it’s Aster! He explains that grammie’s peeps helped him out…I’m not sure what the hell happened but it looks like Aster is stuck under fallen building debris. I guess the train really did get derailed and…exploded? o__O;

They’re all outside walking as they listen to Aster’s story (how did you people get outside!? Weren’t there bars on the window!?). Aster tells the robot he’s proud of the fact he didn’t go mental again like the last chapter. After hearing he now has a purpose, the robot mumbles that maybe he’s not going to do that kind of thing any more. Before Aster can go wtf, an alarm sounds. THE PRINCESS IS GONE WTF OMG BOYS GET TO FINDING HER! (my note: “wtf!? what if she just got up to pee??”). The robot says he’ll act as a distraction while Aster takes the main chick away. Aster tells the robot to wait and then tasers him

o w o

Yup…so if you’re ever attacked by bishi robots, taser ‘em…it’s their Achilles’ Heel. Aster explains that in order to escape to granny’s place, they need the robot – you know, like how relatives brings presents when dropping by for a visit. jk – nah, the reason is granny is over in a another country called Yogurt. By giving asylum to the main chick, they risk pissing off Straight. However, with Robert going down the toilet fast, Straight’s next target will most likely be Yogurt. So, if Aster just so happens to get ahold of one of Straight’s super robots, then maybe granny can see sneaking the main chick in.

=___= and what a coincidence – they happen to have one of those robots traveling with them.

Since this is Aster, this whole explanation took like 20 minutes – enough time for the robot to overcome his paralysis from the taser. He kicks the taser out of Aster’s hand (Aster: FUCK! WHY DIDN’T I STFU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE D:). The gun bounces over to the main girl who has just been standing in the corner the whole time this has been going on – no screams of ASTER WTF NO FIGHTING! Hell I almost forgot she was still there xD She reaches down for the gun. Aster begs for her not to interfere. The truth is the robot is to blame for all the shit that went down. She tells Aster she already knew. She points the gun at the robot.

“The one who took the light from me. The one who pushed my father into the grave. The enemy!”

Me: HOW ARE YOU POINTING THAT THING AT THE RIGHT TARGET?? AREN’T YOU BLIND!?

End

ʘ‿ʘ … alrighty then….that was…crazy.

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Other things in Lala:

  • Akagami no Shirayuki-Hime chapter 51 – bro stuff
  • UsoKano chapter 12 – school festival fluff
  • Natsume’s Book of Friends chapter suck my dick (damn the fact no chapter is ever listed :/) – Youkai stuff and some man bonding between Natsume and Natori
  • Hinoko chapter 18 – beheadings
  • Ookami Heika no Hanayome chapter 55 – this gif pretty much sums up the chapter:
              • dur
  • Kanojo ni Naru Hi (The Day I Became a Girl) extra – angst and fluff
  • La corda doro Blue Sky chapter 3 – Main girl and Ritsu hang out (not sure where that came from since Ritsu was all don’t talk to me in the last chapter). Gay Bestie stirs up trouble by telling Ritsu that main girl and Ritsu’s bro suck and that he shouldn’t team up with them
        • 1zfu614
  • Library Wars chapter 64 – stuff happens again
  • Otome to Meteor chapter 10 – Io is now “human” since his bro took his powers in the last chapter. He spends the chapter trying to adjust to human life, all while wearing a smile on his face to keep Sakura from worrying. However, it turns out that the earth’s atmosphere is actually poisonous to him now that Io doesn’t have his powers (which I guess protected him from being affected) and he eventually succumbs to the miasma. Io’s bro shows up and says he’ll help his bro out if in exchange Sakura gives up her memories of him. After kissing Io one last time, Sakura agrees and the chapter ends with her having no memories of Io and crying.
  • Mizutama Honey Boy (oneshot) – highlight of the magazine for me. The oneshot is nothing special but for some reason I really enjoyed it. The main girl acts like a dashing shojo prince while the main male acts likes a shojo heroine because his mom was like, fuck it I ain’t got time to raise 3 girls and a boy – put on this dress, son. The main boy falls in love with the main girl when she carries him off to the nurses office when he hurt his leg. The story follows him trying to win her affection and it’s really cute. The whole one shot was pretty much a standard shojo but the genders of the characters are switched. Part of me wants another chapter but another part of me is like, ugh this is by the manga-ka of Bear Bear where all the main girl ever did was run away so maybe not…
  • Zetsubou Soudan-Shitsu – this series runs on the Lala x Melody website. Reminds me a bit of Hell Girl. Interested clients go to a website and post their problem. A list of options will appear. You select which option you want and it’ll give you advice on how to solve your problem. However, since this is dark shit, things don’t go well. Beware of shady ass sites…for they are shady.

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What to expect in the next issue?

Let’s see…Maid-sama’s newest work will be debuting (Yuki wa Jikoku ni Ochiru no ka). Interesting title – is “Is Yuki Going to Hell?” Huh…okay ^^: Otome to Meteor is ending which is probably a good thing. Don’t want to drag it out, eh? Strange Dragon is coming back while Human System will be leaving. Dat about it. Only 2 months late. Not bad at all!

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