June 2013 Sylph

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Finally, I post about something Sylph wise! I’m only, what, 5 months late? Hur hur. The June issue of Sylph is pretty anorexic in terms of content. The whole magazine was super light. But don’t worry – future volumes are fatter. No Shounen Oujo though. I’ve got the issues all the way to the most current and there ain’t no new chapters :< Sigh. That aside, here you all go!

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Uta no Prince-sama Maji Love 2000% Chapter 1

Pretty much Debut never existed and we’re redoing the whole thing haha…it’s kinda less ghey than Debut…but it’s still pretty ghey. Haruka…you might want to rethink being the heroine of this otome game.

The first chapter is just introduction. Basically the main boys are going to grad school and meet their mentors.

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Dear Girl Stories ~ Hizuki chapter 5

Last we left off, Hiro C and Ono D were recruited to be actors in Ms. Shojo Stephanie Meyer’s play. The plot of the play involves a vampire who falls in love with a lady. They end up loving each other so much the lady wants to be turned into a vampire. So the guy does what he’s got to do in order to make her a vampire but kills her in the process. Oops. In grief, he stabs himself with a knife. Just as he dies, his girlfriend wakes up all fanged out and fabulous. However, sucks for her because her boyfriend apparently didn’t pay attention in Vampire School and didn’t know she had to die before becoming a vampire. The story ends with her finding his dead body. Love that Ono D is like, that ending sucks balls! And yes, I agree with you Hiro C. She basically added vampires to Romeo and Juliet. However, the main girl is like, no…it’s different. Because the vampire has to prove he’s a real vampire to his lady friend. First he jumps off a cliff (Ono D is thrown off a high platform. Ono D: wait what!?), then he’s lit on fire (Ono D is lit on fire. Ono D: WHY!?), after that he eats a rat (Rat is presented to Ono D. Ono D: okay the fuck crack pipe you smoking lady!?), and then he gets stabbed with a knife (Hiro C advances on Ono D with a knife. Ono D: OH HELL NO. STOP CUT CUT CUT!).

Before Ono D can be sliced open, he tells the girl wtf!? Why is she making him do all these “stunts” (that would have killed him had he not been a vampire). The girl explains that it makes the play seem more real. Because if you’re really bleeding, you and the audience can get into the story more.

Ono D: UM I THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE SEVERAL SEATS BECAUSE THAT’S CRACK TALK!

Ono D explains that she’s high. When he and Hiro C were doing their show, they used fake shit (Ono D: lol jk we actually used real stuff since we’re vampires but I’m not telling you that, crazy little girl :3). An, the main girl, gets real sad when she hears what she saw up on the stage wasn’t real. She explains that the group she was with told her to go fuck herself sideways when she presented her play to them. Understandably because who in their right minds would want to be LIT ON FIRE or FORCED TO EAT A LIVE RAT!? I don’t know what kind of crack baby you are ma’am but no one will do that even if paid a large sum of money. And what about the girl character? Who in their right mind would allow someone to BITE them?

An says, hey, no probs on dadatd. I’ll be playing the part of the lady (despite the fact I’m the writer for this play) and I WANT TO BE BITTEN YA’LL. MAKE THIS SHIT REAL, PLAYERS! Somehow her reasoning convinced Ono D to continue An’s play but only if they use fake stuff. He’ll make everything real just by the power of his acting. And so that shit happens. The day of the play comes. They’re doing awesome, Ono D as the vampire, An as the love interest, Angelina (omfg, she totally wrote herself into her fanfiction *facepalm*), until it comes to Ono D’s part to stab himself. He takes his knife and plunges it in, realizing a tad late that the thing he just shanked himself with was a real knife (Ono D…how?). Ono D has a mini freak out moment over the fact that his acting from here on own will be “real” and not the “fake real” he was trying to install onto An. I’m hoping it’s because he’s a vampire and he has no shits to give is the reason he’s not flipping his dick over the fact HE JUST STABBED HIMSELF. After a second, Ono D is like, fuck it. And finishes the play. The show is a success. An thanks the guys for helping her make her “realistic” like story a reality. The boys show their appreciation by draining her blood (and Hiro C getting a migraine again).

The last few pages show their boss holding the still bloody knife Ono D stabbed himself with. He’s trying to figure out where did this knife come from? Glad to see we’re not going to worry about the face Ono D stabbed himself. I know he’s a vampire but still. Some concern would be great….no? Ok. The last last page shows those two hooded guys from the last chapter revealing that they too are vampires and want to party with Hiro C and Ono D. Muahhahahaha!

Shiro Ari Chapter 32

Last we left off, Happy, Grumpy, and Crazy were (゚Д゚≡゚Д゚) at the sight of Alice’s face leaning down towards Snow White’s. Turns out Alice was just helping Snow White get something out of her eye. However, that doesn’t stop Grumpy and Happy from jumping at Alice due to their lady’s sanctity at risk. Thankfully, Crazy is the one that stops the two dwarves from shoving rockets up Alice’s butt (no, I’m serious. Happy has a rocket launcher. Where he pulled that out from I do not want to know. I suspect lots of lube was needed tho). The three tell Alice they’re here to help him to which Alice pretty much tells the trio to go circle jerk and leave him alone. He doesn’t know who they are and sure as hell don’t want their help. Before things can get ugly, Hatter intervenes with hunger pains. The March Hare isn’t around to cook him up dinner so he went to bother Alice. However, why make Alice do the work when there are three new helpers hanging around.

Dwarves: …uh, are you talking about us?

Hatter: *pulls out chef hats*

As the boys make Hatter some eats (lol, the pecking order has been established), Alice and Hatter spy on the dwarves via a hidden camera. They watch in amazement as the dwarves utilize a cooking method involving guns and katanas. At some point, Hatter breaks out of his daze and tells Alice that since he’s out of commission for awhile, Alice will run his shop. The dwarves themselves will be Alice’s helpers.

Alice: no

Hatter manages to convince Alice that they should keep the dwarves because they are obviously trained warriors. I mean, shit Alice. They’re shooting fucking eggs open. You need some fighters on your side. All you really have is little Dormouse. Unhappy but unable to refuse that logic, the dwarves are “welcomed” into Alice’s place. Later that night, Alice bumps into Crazy and tells him he doesn’t trust Crazy. Crazy in return kicks Alice in the back and lifts him up by his shirt collar. That’s when Crazy lays down the story: they ain’t here for Alice. They want to take Snow White back with them. And the only way to do that is to get Alice to be the king. Thus…suck my dick. With that, Crazy leaves a very PO’d Alice behind.

Also, I should note: it seems Snow White hasn’t remembered everything yet. When she talks with the dwarves while they were “cooking” she says something that makes the boys realize she’s only got a certain amount of her memory back. Unfortunately, we don’t get to hear much more because Snow White ends up crying due to eating a spicy hot tamago made my Grumpy (who didn’t know about Mirror’s opposite rule. Sugar = spicy).

Hakase Ga chapter 26

The Professor is shitting himself in joy at the thought of being smack dab in the middle of a mystery. We have conflict between certain party goers, we have mysterious happenings, and storm. All screaming that murder is going to happen. Hinase tells the Professor he’s an idiot and needs to calm himself. However, things take a crazy turn when they find the owner of the mansion in a pool of blood.

Hinase: ok…maybe I was a bit quick to write this off as a normal party

Professor: *holds up hot pants*

Hinase: no

Kamigami no Asobi chapter 5

The main girl worries about how she is going to get all the gods to join a club. Thankfully her faithful students of Apollo, Balder, and, to some extent, Tsukito are present to help cheer up Yui. In fact, they all go on a field trip and meet some gangster forest critters. Also, Tsukito outs himself as a virgin when he pets a unicorn. Two new characters are introduced. One oyaji that hangs with Hades and some guy…that kinda looks like Eminem…

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DADADADAN chapter 21

The boys get suckered into helping another lass out. In this case, the girl is being pestered by this rich loser with a bowl cut into dating him. He won’t take no for an answer so she grabs Shiro and pretends he is her boyfriend. Things seem to be going ok until Shiro receives a call from Ryouta and Mina. While talking to the two, Bowlcut comes over and tells Shiro he’s pretty much got a small limp dick that could never please a woman. This pisses Ryouta and Mina off so they go over to try and make Bowlcut look like shit. This backfires hilariously but thanks to their scary teacher appearing, the ruse works…kinda. While we think everything is good and dandy, the chapter ends with the girl’s brother appearing and getting pissy about her relying on help from someone other than himself.

Fujoshissu! chapter 42

The creeper dilemma solved, it’s time to move on. With the girls getting older, it means trying to figure out what’s the next step in their lives…college. And yeah, basically all three are going to college. End of chapter.

Danshi Koukousei to Rock no Kiwadoi Tsukiaikata chapter 5

No

Arcana Famiglia chapter 16

Nothing really. Continuation of when Jolly appeared out of nowhere and was like, sup? He basically taunts everyone until Pace loses his cool and blows up the church they were all in (nice). Jolly tells the bros to calm their tits and peaces out. Even though the place they grew up is now in shambles (Pace: tee hee my bad), they can rebuild the church and make new memories! Or at least that’s the game plan. The chapter ends with Debito, shirt open (but then buttoned up mysteriously one panel later), looking at a photo of him and his pimps, thinking if change from the past is even possible.

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Tab*ret chapter 7

You know, for a series about looking for a guy with a scar on his chest, there are a lot of guys walking around with scars on their chests. The fuck? Anyway, that mysterious dude that popped out from the last chapter? Fiancée. Yup, this is a shojo after all. We need a fiancée to complete the cliché. And you know what else? He’s balls loose nuts. He tells Kanon she’s got one week to find the guy she’s looking for. If she doesn’t succeed, then too bad so sad time to make babies. He does a Jolly and peaces out. Time goes back to normal, meaning them lead pipes are back to falling on Kusakabe. Kanon manages to save his butt but scratches her knee in the process. Kusakabe loses his shit and proceeds to carry Kanon off to the nurses office, only to remember the nurse isn’t in the office…he’s outside with everyone else in the first aid tent. Seeing how she’s limited on time, Kanon gets straight to the point – I’m looking for someone with a scar on his chest and you just happen to have a scar on your chest (just like everyone else). Are you the dude? Kusakabe says omfg you’re that girl from before which makes Kanon super happy. OMFG, guy found! Kusakabe continues, yeah you almost became a pancake lol. Kanon: huh? Turns out Kusakabe mistook Kanon for this dumbass kid who ran out into the streets and he meatshielded the kid from an oncoming car. Somehow…this left him with a scar on his chest. Note sure how getting run over only does that but whatever. Hearing this, Kanon becomes a sad bacon cheese McWhooper. So damn. He’s not it. The creepy ass school nurse isn’t it. WHO ELSE IS THERE!? Kusakabe: the art teacher has a scar on his chest. Kanon: wut?

Sugar Girl, Sugar Doll chapter 7

We get back story on Arashi and find out how he turned into an ass. When he was younger, his dad made a doll to take care of Arashi (named Rokkichi). At first Arashi was like, don’t touch me pedo, but after the doll comforted Arashi during a lightning storm, Arashi opened up to the cat doll. The cat doll remained a big influence in Arashi’s life up until his time in high school. That’s when a law was passed to stop the creation of dolls capable to having emotions…which meant not only did the production of said dolls halt but also dolls that had been created in the past with such qualities were to be destroyed. Rokkichi was of no exception. Arashi threw a fit but Rokkichi was chill with the situation. He was happy to have served Arashi and wants to remain Arashi’s doll until the end. Needless to say, tears were falling for the next few pages. Some time after Rokkichi’s termination, Arashi finds his dad chillin in his laboratory. Now that his research has been disbanded, dad is a bit lost with what to do. Arashi tells his dad to get out of the lab and live. But instead dad dies because this is shojo and parents don’t live long.

Oneshots:

  • Hankei 1m no Sekai (The 1 mile Radius World) – story about three childhood friends that grew apart from one another
  • Tokimeki Pancake Magic – pancake romance ~ can’t go wrong with that :D

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