Hello my peeps. It’s been awhile since I last did a journal entry! The reason? Laziness. And I’ve also been given more training to do at work but it’s mostly because of laziness.
So my story for today is quite boring, thus I’ll take no offense if you push the back button. I mean, I’m going to be talking about air conditioners after all! You see, I didn’t realize that here in the big city, centralized air is like…not common. Also, having a super / accessible management is apparently only a luxury the rich can afford. Have a package coming your way? Well, son. Better hope your delivery man leaves the package at your door and no one comes stealing it (because our mailboxes only hold like 3 letters! And there are no such things as boxes designated to hold packages)! Otherwise you’ll have to drag your sorry ass to the post office and then drag your sorry ass + your package on to the train and to your house because no one has cars here.
It’s really weird!
If I were back in the south, the amount I’m paying in rent now for my dinky one bedroom apartment would give me a three bedroom apartment with money to spare :Y (and lovely things like centralized air and ceiling fans ~ And countertop space in the kitchen <3)
However, were I back in the south, I’d probably be employed as a urine tester instead of what I’m doing now so never mind! Rant done.
Anyway, things are starting to heat up here now that summer is drawing closer so that means I need to go buy myself a wall unit or else I’m going to die. You think I’m exaggerating but people have died in their apartments from the heat (usually they’re old people but that’s not the point)! Not wanting to be part of the decreased population, I put in my order with amazon for a nice wall unit. Why amazon? Because I have no car here and there is no way my butt is going to carry home a 70 lb AC unit :/
And it comes with free shipping (yay!).
So, the minute I put in my order (and my paycheck for week burst into flames), I get an email saying, hey hey your AC is on the way.
Me: Sweet! Slow cooked death, go fuck yourself :D
The first delivery date is on Wednesday and I promptly miss it. Usually my UPS guy delivers at 7:00 pm but for some reason, 3:46 was the time he chose. And unfortunately for the both of us, I’m still working at that time because I have a job (and I can’t take time off because I’m still in training .___. very dumb but whateva). So no biggy. I throw in $5 to redeliver the package on Thursday, with the special request of “please deliver after 5:30.” Thursday comes and they deliver my package at 4:01. Because that’s totally after 5:30.
And guys, if I wasn’t home at 3:46, chances of me being home 15 minutes later are not happening. Thus now I’m panicking because I have one shot left before UPS sends the package back to amazon.
I do the desperate and I sign up for UPS’s premium membership shit so I can not only redeliver but I can also select a window for when the guy drops off my package. What was left of my paycheck died horrible when I signed up but what can you do. It’s either this or nothing. Also, I’ll have to use UPS in the future for other things so maybe it’ll pay for itself in the end.
I schedule for Friday (today) at the latest window offered: 4:45 – 6:45. After a kinda bad day at work (not really bad…more like, wtf are you all trying to make me miss my UPS delivery!? Do this next week when I dgaf!), I run my ass home and get here around 5:00. No “lol we missed ya sucker no ac for you” sticker was on the main door that leads into my unit. Sweet!
So I go in and start chillin in my 80* apartment with only my $20 fan from walmart and a cool cup of water to keep me from dying. I piss around on my phone for awhile before migrating to my computer. I have open in one tab amazon’s tracking information to keep an eye on where my shit is. I turn on the news because it’s something. I notice it’s about 6:30.
Me: ಠ_ಠ bitch has 15 minutes to show before I get a $20 refund (<-true. What the website says).
Not sure why but I refresh the amazon tab and I see this:
“Delivery attempted. Signature is required to complete delivery. Please see carrier notice for next delivery attempt or contact the carrier – May 31, 2013 6:09:00 PM “
Me: WHAT!? NO! WHAT!?
So I go outside and head over to my building’s main door. I don’t see a sticker on the glass like where it’s usually placed…but that’s because it’s on the floor like trash.
Now, my first thought is the most logical: MOTHERFUCKIN’ LAZY ASS CUNT DIDN’T EVEN BUZZ ME SON OF A BITCH I’M GOING TO FIND THAT HO AND CUT HIM!
But then for some reason, a thought occurred to me. Awhile back, my mailman buzzed me but I didn’t get it. Now that was like 2 months ago. Surely it couldn’t STILL be acting up!? (I called about it but no one ever responded) I set my phone on record and leave it by the intercom before going out to where all the buzzers are. I push mine and then head back over to my apartment. I play the footage over. No buzzing noise is made. No fucking noise (other than me stomping around)! OMFG NO IT’S NOT THE UPS’S FAULT IT’S MY STUPID SHITTY BUILDING’S!
After running outside thinking I could catch the UPS guy (and returning 3 minutes later after realizing how dumb that plan was), I decided to call my local UPS to see if maybe they can catch the guy since I only missed him by 20 min. I call and the guy that picks up tells me to call UPS’s official number, just keep pushing 0 when prompted with stuff to reach customer service (which would have been fucking lovely to know back on the second attempt because the only options I was given were 1.) track your package 2.) ship a package 3). ship tools & 4.) don’t remember but it wasn’t what I needed). I miraculously get connected to a human and explain what happened. She tells me that chances of getting the guy are slim but she’ll give it a try. I’ll receive a call in an hour about what to do.
So two hours later, I get the call and the guy on the phone is like, yeah so your buzzer doesn’t work um okay we’ll call you on Monday when we redeliver. I ask why not Saturday because that’s tomorrow (and a hell of a lot more convenient than Monday). Him: because no. That shot down, I ask about selecting a time because we’re just going to play the LOLOLOL MISSED YA game again. I explain I have the premium membership so $5 = I can select a time slot.
Him: …yeah we’ll think about that later. Just call on Monday at 10:30 because it’s not like you have a job you have to work at, right?
Realizing I ain’t getting an AC anytime soon, I thank him and apologize for the hassle. I explain the buzzer story and he’s like…oh bye. Man had no fucks to give.
So that’s where I’m at now. Chances are I ain’t getting that AC and it’s going back to amazon where I’ll have to order it again and this time use my premium membership on the first go to make this work out.
I called the manager of my building (I think that’s who it is…I don’t know. I’m only using the number century 21 gave me) to explain about the buzzer problem. We’ll see if they respond tomorrow. If not, I’m dragging my sweaty ass to century 21 and rage until I get the legit number to my supposed super/manager because that’s good shit to know not just when things break down but also in emergencies!
And that’s my story. Yuppers.
I’m off to bed. Hopefully, if I don’t die, I’ll get to doing blog related stuff like post about things and answering comments tomorrow!