Hark! What is that moving in the shadows?
Why it’s another summary of Shounen Oujo!
*cue Shounen Oujo theme song!*
We start our chapter by seeing how things are going in the kingdom of Morrigian…Morigonna…Morgan…I already forgot the name. But you guys know what I’m talking about. The place where the Queen and Alexia used to live before they were murdered off.
Things have changed drastically for this Queendom. No more is the man bitch slapped and forced to make his wife a sandwich. No! Instead, tis now the man’s turn to be…a MAN! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ roar We are told this when a woman is caught sneaking around on the streets at night. See, the women have pretty much had all their rights stripped from them, including the ability to walk around in the streets after hours (men: see how you bitches like it! щ(ಥДಥщ)). Patrolling the area to make sure the man’s word is kept strong are those guys from a few chapters ago – they ones who were holding men’s suffrage movements at the town fountain. Now that shiz has changed, they are part of the public order…brigade team. Yay ~
Anyway, this particular woman was dressed in drag in hopes of being able to avoid the brigade. However, either she didn’t do a good job or these guys can tell when there are boobs among them because she was outed real quick. The woman tells the men that she was going out to find a doctor for her kid. Her hubby isn’t around and her kid looked like s/he was about to fall over and die – thus the reason she’s out on the streets in her man’s clothes.
I beat up old people – I don’t think this character was ever given a name now that I reminisce about it – holds a gun to her face and tells her, bitch please. He recognizes her as a regular patron at the bar.
“All you women do is give birth to children and force the rearing on the men. It’s too late to start acting like parent.”
The lady yells at…Steven. I’m calling him Steven. She tells Steven she brought home the bacon! WTF does he mean she didn’t act like a parent!? Steven in turn yells at her that her kind stole their (men’s) rights. The woman tells Steven that it’s not like SHE herself took his rights. That’s how it’s always been.
“That’s why we changed things.”
The lady freaks and runs for it. Some of Steven’s boys go after her but Steven stands his ground. Instead he lifts his gun and aims.
“This too is for the installment of a just world.”
Holy sweet baby Jesus on a goddamn cracker. Is this a thing with Shounen Oujo!? We gotta kill someone off every other chapter!? D:
“For who is the bullet of justice fired for?”
That grim opening done, we go over to our favorite crew of booty loving pirates! Seems that since Albert isn’t dying no more, the pirates are off to sail the seas for whatever! Albert will be moved from the nice bedroom with a bed to sleeping with the other pirates in their hammocks. Why hammocks? Because a moving boat is a rocking boat (gawd, that sounds like the lyrics of a horrible make-out song…)! Translation: keeps the pirates from noticing the movements & barfing themselves in their sleep I guess. Albert don’t give a fark about the change. He’s already been through a lot. Putting on a bra every morning kind of leaves a lasting scar that can’t be topped…
As Albert puts his stuff on his hammock, Gii comes from behind and picks him up, princess-style. ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)
(lol, Gii. Your hand. Totally looks like you’re trying to cup Albert’s balls xD)
Gii explains that Albert/Alexia may be feeling better but s/he ain’t completely healed up. Albert accepts his pedo butler’s reasoning and goes with it. However, he then realizes something. He asks Gii if he’s fat heavy and Gii is like, um dude I may dress like a clown but I’m still a man. I think I can pick up a scrawny trannie like yourself :/ As Gii continues to hold Albert, Albert decides to monologue. Because this is the best time for that. With Gii, being treated like a girl is normal…but how come when Theo did his teleport-princess pick up from the last chapter, Albert was more conscious of his predicament?
Well, you all won’t get the answer until later on after Albert sucks on Theo’s nipples.
Whoops! Too early to mention that.
Where were we? Oh yes. Albert monologuing. Sooooooooooooooo….we had that and then Nikora pops up to glare at Albert.
(love that Gii was just holding Albert the whole time he was talking to himself xD)
“Guess you’re a princess no matter where you are.”
With that she leaves in a huff. Theo smiles. He explains to us readers that Nikora used to be a princess of some village in some place. He reasons Nikora’s meh towards Albert is because both Albert and Nikora are royalty yet each ended up with such different lifestyles.
“Though I called you that, you aren’t really a princess.”
We jump real quick to Nikora. As she’s walking down a hallway, Zeppu (the pirate who likes to shoot first and run later) lols that Nikora’s man is going to be stolen if she doesn’t do something. Nikora tells him that’s not how she and Theo are. Love that Zeppu’s face is like, yeah sure kid. I’ve read enough shojo to see through that lie (✧≖‿ゝ≖)
“Really, we’re not like that at all. When I’m with Theo, I can smell the fragrances of my village. That’s why I don’t want to lose him.”
Realizing shit turned dark, Zeppu walks with Nikora and pats her on the head in comfort.
Later that night, Albert is asleep in his hammock. In the same panel, we see an arm and a hand.
Fucking knew it. Pirates can’t let booty go!
We close up on Albert’s face. He opens his eyes and sees nipples in front of him. However, rather than think, wtf why are there nipples poking my eyes, he thinks, oh yes. Yes. Meat. Come into my mouth <3
We turn the page and a yelp rings out. Gii pops out of no where with a lantern. Da fuq going on, kids!? (ಠ益ಠ)
Light now present, we see Albert…suckling on Theo’s exposed man boob.
Oh Shounen Oujo why… xD
Gii doesn’t even hesitate at the situation before him. He pulls out a whip and threatens to cut off Theo’s balls. Trying to get some action? NOT ON GII’S WATCH! (,,#ﾟДﾟ)
Before things can get even weirder (I mean, look at it – Theo doesn’t have a shirt on – he was caught trying to get into Albert’s bed – Albert himself is latched on to Theo’s breast like a starved infant/hobo – and Gii has a whip (where he got that. I do not know)), Albert breaks up the tension by screaming: WHERE’D MAH MEAT GO!?
Your man meat, Albert? He’s right there staring in shock along with Gii.
The lols done, Theo explains that when he was a kid, he and Albert used to share the same bed and Albert would nibble on Theo’s cheeks from time to time in his sleep. Albert lols and goes yeah, I thought you were baked bread (wtf because of his skin color, Albert!?). Funny how I bit your man nips this time though.
Everyone: hahahaha ^^
Albert: hahaha – WAIT WE’RE OFF TOPIC HERE! (,,#ﾟДﾟ) WTF, MAN! WHY YOU TRYING TO SNEAK IN MY BED, PERV? SHOUNEN OUJO DON’T ROLL THAT WAY!
Theo: ; w ; I wanted it to be like the good old times when we shared a bed ~ because I’m weird like that.
Albert: “You said you wanted to sleep together with me like we used to but not with that body! We’re just asking for trouble!”
Theo lols at Albert. Dude, don’t worry. You’ll grow up to be hawt like me one day ^^
Albert: =__= that’s not the problem here.
Or is it, Albert? Hearing that one day, Albert will be a man makes Albert think, WILL I REALLY BECOME A MAN!? WILL I REALLY BE HAWT LIKE THEO!? (as he’s saying this, Albert is touching Theo’s bare chest because all the great moments in Shounen Oujo require some ghey to spice things up xD).
Theo: Ohohohoho Albert! You’re touching my no no square! (✧≖‿ゝ≖)
A flash of Alexia passes through Albert’s thoughts, breaking him out of his thoughts of wanting to be a man. He can’t be a man. Not ever. Albert vocalizes these thoughts and Theo just lols.
Theo: Who’s the dumbass now? :) Oh Albert, you can’t stop puberty. Your voice will soon break and you’ll grow taller and you’ll get pimples all over the place and erections during very inappropriate times! Because that’s what it means to be a man :)
“Al, you don’t plan on pretending to be a princess forever, do you?”
Before Albert can answer, Gii steps in. Yeah, remember Gii? Still here. The whip is gone though. Guess he realized tonight wasn’t going to be one of those nights.
Gii says that if Albert does become a man, then the gig is up. No need to worry about Olivie coming after him because it’s hard to be a girl when you’re ripped and hairy as shit.
“Turning back into a man will grant you freedom.”
A light interrupts the dark conversation. Bomby looks down and tells Gii that it’s his turn to keep watch.
Despite the awkwardness, Gii says cool & leaves. We follow Gii and listen to his thoughts. Gii is surprised by how different he’s acting since volume #2. Rather than try and convince Albert to be a woman, he’s like, no. That shit got old in the last volume.
“Is it because I don’t want to lose…the vessel acting as the princess? Or… No, I already knew the answer from the start.”
As Gii is thinking this, we’re given this in one of the panels:
o___O Like I said before. Any great moments in Shounen Oujo need some ghey.
Gii wonders if he should tell Albert about his heritage. That he actually is royalty, not just when he’s in a dress.
We get a peek at Albert’s birthmark. Yeah, the one by his balls. Albert’s thighs shine again! Think we’re looking at Albert’s legs because the birthmark symbolizes his connection to the crown. Wait, wtf where did your blanket go!?
“I wonder, is it alright to tie him down with that information…given the situation?”
Well, we leave Gii to his thoughts. Instead, we join Olivie! Oh hohohoho it’s been a while good sir! Not stabbing your family are we? Oh right, you ran out of family to kill!
He’s staring out silently as the head of the guards…Samantha…talks his ear off about everything that’s happen. The reason she joined with Olivie was because the Queen didn’t want to go to war and expand the kingdom. Instead, she and her little bitches were happy with the peace they had now. Anyone that stood against the Queen was murdered off (thank goodness I bought volume #1, because that bit about conspirers killed off was NOT mentioned in the magazine). Now with shiz changing, yeahhhhh we win! 8D
Olivie looks at Samantha like she’s lost her marbles and just barfed on a random baby. Um, ho. You must be on crack because I never said we were working together. I used you. And you women can go die for all I care.
Before Samantha can crush him with her thighs, Olivie’s guards come and restrain her. She yells at him wtf!? They had a deal. She’d give him the military’s power in exchange for expanding the Queendom’s territory.
Him: ಠ_ಠ you’re an idiot for not seeing this coming. I killed my own family. What made you think working with me was the right thing to do?
Olivie, done with this shiz, starts to walk away. Samantha screams out at Olivie. Why is he doing this!?
“Why? I despise women. I only wish death for your kind. That’s why.”
Samantha is shocked. Well, damn. Did not see that coming. And that’s the last we see of her.
Olivie then starts to talk to Little Man Bitch. Not sure where he came from but he’s here.
“If you don’t want to end up like her, you better not make any more mistakes, Yuuri.”
Yuuri rolls over like the little man bitch that he is. He explains that a ship is already being prepared to pursue Alexia because…wait, how did they know she was on a ship? For all they know, she could have escaped on foot…Meh, manga law dictates you stfu when trying to apply logic to manga.
When asked why he isn’t on that ship, Little Man Bitch is like, um…because I’m your little man bitch, sir. I gotta be by your side.
“Hah, please. Get going. If you came around any closer, I’d reek of your womanly stench.”
Wait…what? Did he just say…?
Little Man Bitch, shocked by Olivie’s words (really guys, why are we shocked? Did you not read volume #2?), bows his(?) head in acceptance and turns to leave. Captain Bob morphs from the walls and pats/pushes Little Man Bitch on the shoulder.
“Yet he still tolerates you as long as you’re dressed as a man. He must care for you very much.”
LITTLE MAN BITCH IS A…WELL JUST A BITCH!?
WHAAAAAAAAA!? ( Д ) ﾟ ﾟ (SHOCK)
Little Man Bitch glares at Captain Bob and smacks his hand off. She walks away, head down, lost in thought.
“You have changed. Yet my memory of you is still the same. The way things are now…as long as I have those memories, that is all I need.”
OMG, talk about “didn’t see that coming!” Freaks! The men are too girly and the girls are too manly Dx Now it’s gotten to the point where I need to pull some pants down to have visual confirmation of genders @___@
And this is where I leave you my children. Contemplating where Shounen Oujo will take us.