Tid-Bits: Shounen Oujo (Boy Princess) Chapter 9 (from the Jan 2012 Sylph magazine)

icon9Sorry for the delay. I was originally planning to release chapter 9 on Friday but a bout of food poisoning suddenly attacked. When I nearly passed out on my bathroom floor, that’s when I knew I had better rest in bed and drink lots of Pepto-Bismol!

Today I’m doing much better. More Pepto helped <;;3 I’m hoping by tomorrow I’ll be in better shape ~

At least, I was well enough to teach my neighbor how to use an iPad even though I don’t even own one xD It was definitely weird!

My little journal entry out of the way, let’s go to our Tid-Bits 8D

We start our chapter with that nurse lady from chapter 3 opening a window. In pours the sound of someone singing. The nurse smiles as she looks back at her charge.

“…such a lovely voice. Letishia-sama, can you hear it?”

However, the queen isn’t a fan of the singer. Rather, her face is scrunched in pain.

“This…voice…is…”

JUSTIN BEAVER! MAKE IT STOP! D8

The nurse wears a worried expression on her face, concerned about her patient’s current state. She closes the window…dramatically.

*cue Shounen Oujo theme song*

1

“A voice that can be clearly heard no matter the location…that can reach you no matter the distance.”

We jump over to Albert. He’s in a fancy parlor with equally fancy people. Everyone’s attention is on Olivie, how has just finished singing. After the crowd gives their applause and cheers, Albert goes up to Olivie and Melcho, thanking them for making the performance possible. Melcho says he is honored by the opportunity to have Olivie sing. Olivie is his prized singer.

And things couldn’t just be left nice like this. No. Instead we have those annoying old hens from chapter 8 back. Using their outdoor voices, they ONCE AGAIN talk about the need to have babies. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU OLD HAGS!? DO YOU NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO TALK ABOUT D8 They comment about how the only thing Melcho can be proud about is Olivie. Everything else about him sucks.

Melcho: D8 *dies a little inside*

They joke again about what’d his kids would look like if he and “Alexia” did get together. Conclusion: those kids would probably die from their own ugliness lol ~

Melcho: *starts to slit his wrists*

One of the dusty old crones mentions that Olivie would be a better choice. The boy is nice on the eyes after all (Oliver: oh fuck no cougar. I’m not into dusty vaginas). Mix his genes with “Alexia’s” and there’d be some nice looking girl babies. Emmm, good pedo-licious stuff, eh Gii? But lol, too bad Olivie don’t got any balls ~ (<-their words not mine).

Olivie: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

I can’t tell from the picture if Albert is listening to these hags and their comments or not. I know Olivie heard the NO BALLS comment because of the dark tone around his smiling face. Oh man…

2a

Before we can look any deeper into the situation, someone calls “Alexia’s” name. A hand grabs his and spins Albert around. Albert lets out a squeal of shock (o__o squeal, Albert? Really?) that is silenced when something is pressed against his lips. It’s a peach. The one pressing the peach to Albert’s lips is BLAH/Fabio/Linebolt(sp?). He’s like, taste my fruit baby <;;3 Don’t ask what that liquid dripping off the fruit is. I think we both know the answer ;D With his other hand, Fabio grabs Albert’s butt.

Albert: D8

2b

Upon feeling up Albert, Fabio comments that Albert seems to be on the thin side since they last met, which is a no no. Albert needs to nibble on Fabio’s fruit this instance. That way “she’ll” become nice and delicious ;D

3a

Eat my sweet fruit baby…then you can try another fruit of mine if you know what I’m eluding too hohoho.

My penis.

Albert: D8 oh gawd

However, before Albert can get his rape whistle out, a hand launches itself into Fabio’s chest hair (not sure how that’s possible, seeing how Fabio is pretty much straddled vertically against Albert). Before Fabio can go ohohohoho, the hand grips a bunch of hair and RIPS THE SHIT OUT OF DAT HAIR! WE’RE TALKING SUPER SAIYAN TWEEZING.

3b

(I’m trying to figure out if those black dots are blood or lice that have been living in Fabio’s chest hair…)

Naturally, Fabio screams like a little boy and clutches his chest like he has just been stabbed there.

3c

(posting for his facial expression)

“So sorry for that.” The hand opens, dropping VERY LONG strands of STRAIGHT chest hair onto the floor. ‘”My hand seems to have a mind of its own.” IT GRABS PEOPLE’S CHEST HAIR!? WHAT!? “Alexia-sama, are you alright?”

The individual in question is another one of “Alexia’s” fiancée candidates. Rather than be freaked out by the fact this dude just tweezed another dude’s chest using his man grip, Albert is instead scared by the lack of humanity reflecting in this individual’s eyes.

4

Chin (he’s not named as of this chapter so…he gets a nickname courtesy of Sylphalchemist), oblivious to Albert’s GO AWAY expression, proceeds to offer a gift of silk jammies to him xDDDDDD Like he just didn’t rip the chest hair off Fabio not 5 secs ago. Oh man. As Chin is talking about the MOISTURIZING EFFECTS of silk (lol wtf), Albert’s mind begins to wonder.

Good call, man.

If I can’t bear children, then the only other option left is to have someone else carry my child.

Looking at Chin, Albert thinks, no. If Chin figures out I needed him to produce a kid with someone else, he’d blackmail the shiz out of me and take over the Queendom.

Looking at Fabio, Albert thinks, no. Why? Because no.

I need someone who can share this secret with me…

Albert starts to frown, thinking hard about what to do. Suddenly, a voice calls out. It’s Olivie. Apparently Gii has something he wishes to say to Albert. As the two go outside, Albert asks Olivie what Gii wanted.

“That was a lie.”

And then he stabs Albert.

щ(ಥДಥщ) ARE YOU FARKING KIDDING ME!?

NOOOOO! WTF!? WHY SHOUNEN OUJO!? WHY!????? D8

It turns out he was the one who had Alexia killed all those years ago!

DNASFADJFLAKJG;OKWATOIUAWERIJASGJA;EJTLAJEASJRELKJ!!!!! JAKEJFLKAJFJATRO!!! D8 WHAT!?

He smiles and opens his mouth to tell Albert his nefarious reason behind everything. However, Gii suddenly jumps out of the shadows, screaming “Alexia’s” name. He looks down at Albert’s dying form, and explodes.

Jk ~

(́≖◞౪◟≖‵)

No, Olivie just wanted an excuse to get Albert away from Fabio and Chin. That moisturizing thing was just awkward to hear.

Albert: “Did I really have that pained of an expression on my face?”

Olivie: “Yeah, like you just wanted to sink into the ground.” (lit says, yeah, very much)

Albert looks conflicted. He tells Olivie he’s not that bothered with having men rip chest hair off each other and feel him up. It’s just part of his duty as a member of royalty. Olivie says while it may be part of Albert’s role to choose a fiancée, the weight of being royalty must still weigh on him from time to time.

Albert: You don’t even know the half of it…

Then Albert starts to recall all the things that have been bothering him: everyone’s desire to have him pop kids out, having to choose a dude fiancée even though he has no interest in dudes, yada yada (read chapter 8 if you want the low down on Al’s probs). Albert rests the upper half of his body against the balcony he was previously leaning against, as if the weight of his problems is too much for him to remain standing. Olivie takes note of the dark aura around Albert and decides the power of music is what he needs. Magical music notes appear as Olivie opens his mouth to issue forth song. No really:

5

And somehow his notes create a miniature whirlwind consisting of musical notes and what I hope are stars (not droplets of bodily fluids. And if it had to be bodily fluids, please be spit o__O *can’t think what else those white dots could be*):

6

The power of song does indeed help lift Albert’s spirits. He’s like, thanks bro :) Olivie shakes off Albert’s praise, saying singing is really all he can do. Albert comments how jealous he is of Melcho because he gets to hear Olivie sing everyday.

“That man has a kind heart. Since I am a bird trapped in a cage, he often regales me with stories of the outside world.”

When Albert hears the words “bird trapped in a cage” he imagines himself held down by chains. This freaks Albert out but he’s saved from his flip out when Olivie asks “Alexia” if “she” wouldn’t mind chillin with Melcho for a bit. He gets down on his knees and takes Albert’s hand. Please. Hang with my bro.

7

(awkward first date is awkward)

Pressured, Albert has no choice but to accept Olivie’s request! The next day, Albert and Melcho are strolling around…some pruned hedges. Albert comments how nice the weather is and Melcho agrees. Then things get awkward silent again. They walk and don’t talk. Walk and don’t talk…until Albert thinks in his head, wtf dude!? Where’d your nutsac go!? Did you forget how ballsy you were in chapter 4??? As if reading his mind, Melcho breaks the ice (much to Albert’s shock) by mentioning how different he seems from the person in chapter 4. When he’s with Olivie, he’s got balls. Alone though…he’s an awkward turtle. Albert is surprised by this side of Melcho. He starts to warm up to the George Washington look-alike.

Since the topic is on Olivie, Melcho talks about how Olivie is a mysterious entity. Before you know it, he’ll get you right in the heart. When asked if Albert feels that way, Albert smiles and agrees.

“Yes. He’s blessed to have such a wonderful retainer such as yourself.”

9

Melcho is touched by Albert’s words (lol he totally looks like a shojo heroine after receiving a complement from a cute boy xDDDDD). And decides now is a good time to talk about his past. Because that’s totally what I do when I make new friends – throw my baggage at them.

Melcho wasn’t originally supposed to be the next in line for the throne. In fact, he wasn’t really on the list. However, his older brothers kept dying, either from fighting in wars or from sickness till only Melcho was left to assume the throne. And little Melcho was like, fuck that shit ಠ_ಠ. However, with everyone dead, he had no choice.

Melcho mentions that of his family, he was the butt fugliest, so no one liked him. Also, he wasn’t that smart so no one had any hopes for him.

(wow, I’m surprised Melcho isn’t hanging from a chandelier right now)

When Melcho became king, he became king only in title. He felt like he had nothing inside him and existed as such. However, one day, a noble brought Olivie to Melcho. When Melcho heard Olivie sing, he suddenly felt less shitty. He felt like he was a someone.

8

(…again, I’m hoping that’s bodily fluids…from the mouth or the eyes. Nothing down north… >;;__>;;)

We’re brought to the present. Melcho is smiling at the ground, reminiscing about the past. Albert realizes that he and Melcho are kind of the same. When Albert took Alexia’s place, he had been pretty much on his own since then. He may have had Gii but Gii has always been ALEXIA-SAMA ALEXIA-SAMA WHERE DEM BABIES AT ALEXIA-SAMA. The same must have applied to Melcho when he got the throne (minus Olivie screaming at Melcho ALEXIA-SAMA ALEXIA-SAMA WHERE DEM BABIES AT ALEXIA-SAMA). The two walk together more and chat.

Later, Albert is in a bathtub getting rubbed down by Gii. Lol, too lazy to wash your own body Albert!? xD

Gii asks if Melcho would make a good husband. Albert replies if Gii meant to say, would Melcho try to kill him? Gii responds back, no I meant if he’s an appropriate husband for “Alexia-sama” (basically, would Alexia had gone with him had she not been killed off two chapters ago). Albert starts to get pissy – wasn’t it just the last chapter Gii was pushing Albert to find a man and get them kids rolling out? His plan to have someone else pop his kids out since he can’t sounds pretty brilliant right? So wtf dude? Gii gets his creeper face back on again. He’s like, well if that’s what “Alexia” would want. After hearing Gii say IS THIS WHAT ALEXIA WOULD HAVE DONE!? for like the 3rd time in this conversation, Albert tells Gii to go suck himself. Gii looks at Albert but after sighing, leaves (hopefully not to go suck himself…).

Albert, still in the tub, loses himself to his thoughts. Life has definitely changed since he was a little scrapper running around on the streets. Now he’ll be getting married to Melcho (if everything works out). They’ll have a kid though the kid will be produced via a surrogate mother. Saying it and thinking it are two different actions. When Albert actually pictures his future, he freaks out. THAT’S CREEPY!

10

“But…it has to happen someday…”

“I can bear the weight of my secrets…right?

The chapter ends with our male rebels from the last chapter. The royal guard has gotten wind of their plot (gee I wonder how that was possible. Guess sitting in a bar screaming out their group’s secret plans & website address detailing their group’s information like meeting times and locations wasn’t the smartest thing these rebels could have done). However, thanks to the intervention of our supposed-assassin friend who doesn’t believe in changing his/her wardrobe despite two years passing (or fleeing the country for that matter) the males are able to escape. When thanked, the assassin is all, oh no need to thank me boys. I’m just a dude looking to overthrow them bitches just like you. *throws back hood* *totally looks like a girl* *me:…okay then*

11

(is it sad that I take one look at this character and think, gawd he’s going to be a little bitch isn’t he?)

The scene shifts one last time to another location. Inside is a man sitting down. For a minute I thought this guy had psychic powers or something because there was this glittery screen tone used and then the next panel shows the man’s smile, going, hohohoho, things are going as planned eh ~ But thankfully I thought to translate the sfx because it turns out some dude was whispering information to him. Lols oops xD Welp, error avoided!

The camera pans out so we can get a full view of our mystery man…who I am now forever calling Pirate Bob due to his eye patch and argh-ish features ~

“Guess it’s time to make everyone dance.”

12

END!

Well ~ Things are getting a bit shaky for Al. AND THEY’RE ONLY GOING TO GET MORE CRAZIER IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. PREPARE TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO NOT ONE BUT TWO OF THE CHARACTERS BECAUSE SHOUNEN OUJO ISN’T DONE KILLING OFF PEOPLE YET!

…can you guess who will be the two characters we say good-bye to?

[EDIT! Chapter 10 is out]

11 thoughts on “Tid-Bits: Shounen Oujo (Boy Princess) Chapter 9 (from the Jan 2012 Sylph magazine)

  1. Pingback: Tid-Bits: Shounen Oujo (Boy Princess) Chapter 8 (from the Nov 2011 Sylph magazine) | Spoils

    • I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying the Shounen Oujo summaries :) I plan on sticking with the series to the end so don’t worry about me dropping anything ;D (I just post at a slow rate due to RL stuffs)

  2. I think you’re really cool but I still don’t understand how those ass-groping, chesthair ripping men can do something so … in front of a princess of a queendom where a woman hits a little boy because he was stealing a bread because he was hungry…. SO CONFUSED…
    but I still think you rock…

    • You brought up a good point! I’m not sure about that either…
      I’m wondering if everyone is looking the other way at the moment with the man-handling because they want Albert to have them babies?

      Thank you for your comment 8D

  3. thank you so much and I hope you get better soon :) I’ve been wondering for a while who the hell is Alexia father? I assume he’s dead, unless the Queendom are like spiders, once they mate the male spider gets eaten ( ゚ Д゚)

    And Melcho why do you have to be so cute! I want to give you a big hug and thank you once again for your spoils

    • Thank you :) I’m feeling much better now! Thankfully it passed (just in time for my interview xD).

      I’m also curious about who Alexia’s father is. At first…I thought it was Melcho xDDDDDD HE JUST LOOKS SO OLD AND…FATHERLY!
      Lolololol, that’s so scary xD

      Her: Honey ~ I’m pregnant!
      Him: 8D Yay! Celebration time!
      Her: yes…NOM NOM NOM NOM >:3
      Him: D8 whyyyyyy!

      Thank you 8D Hope you enjoy future spoils!

  4. Gulp, take good care of yourself and don’t push it! Food poisoning can get real nasty, take it easy for a while.
    Hm, I totally have this impending doom feeling about this chapter (probably caused by all the bodily fluids dropping around… Wtf is with those pictures seriously, gross). My money is on poor ol’ Melcho as a possible death candidate and… Unno, Olivie? I mean, the first is obviously too unsightly to stay around (the evil world of shoujo, where a man can go by only by his looks) and the second… Yeah, he’s kinda not a man anymore (again, it’s the evil world of shoujo, girls just aren’t into guys if they literally lack balls).
    Poor guys though, I find their story actually touching (creepy fluids details aside). I wish the assassin was the one to die, but you’re right, he’s a little bitch and in manga (much like in life) bitchy characters don’t die easiliy. D: Or maybe I’m in for a surprise. Who knows!
    ;D

    • Thanks Noctemleya! Thankfully it passed ~ (which my colon is grateful for as well xD)

      I’ve no idea what’s going on with all these little droplets floating around. I’m hoping the manga-ka just knocked some white out on her drawings by accident and didn’t have time to fix the pages. Because the idea of floating bodily fluids is just… D8

      PSSFFTTT I LOVE YOUR DEDUCTIVE REASONING XD He’s ugly? Yup, he’s dying. Although that is so true. Just like how if you’re a minority in a horror movie, you’re probably going to be dying…generally first…

      I want to say something here, but I’ll wait for you to read chapter 10 that I just posted. It may end up changing your view on things…

      Agreement on the little bitch character. But he sticks around. Because he causes some bad shiz to happen later.

  5. oh my goodness, it’s 4AM here and I’m laughing a LOT more than I should. xDD lol.
    I guess things /do/ get a whole lot funnier when it’s too late at night and you just
    provided me my dose of hilarity. :”D
    But seriously, I like Olivie. Aside from the fact that he’s singing in a feminine voice which
    reminds all of us to justin beaver. Let’s hope that’s not the case with him. |D;
    Aaand the fact of him being ball-less actually didn’t put me off. I guess I’m being pretty
    much a weirdo for that? . u .);

    • xD Glad I could get a laugh out of you (especially seeing how dark the chapter turns owo;)

      Haha ~ omg, I never thought about the Olivie’s singing voice = Justin Beaver’s thing xD Lolllllls, so true xDDDDDDDDD

      Nothing wrong with like Olivie even though he ain’t got no junk ~ You like his personality (and dat face) ;D

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