Hard to believe it’s almost been a year since the 8th chapter was released (well, a year in November). I remember this issue well. A year ago, I used to subscribed to Sylph via fujisan. I didn’t have any problems with them (other than the increasing shipping prices…that seemed to go up every other month). However, when this particular issue didn’t arrive at its usual time, I started to freak. Oh shit man. Did it get lost!? When I tried to contact fujisan.jp I was told I had to wait a month since the issue’s release before anything was done. A MONTH!? REALLY!? (it had already been over 2 weeks since my issue was sent).
I was so desperate (I mean, look at how chapter 7 ended. Damn straight I was desperate to know wtf was going to happen) I went to amazon.jp and bk1.jp (now honto.jp) but the issue was all sold out! All because of that fucking Uta no Prince-sama one-shot! Damn thing brought all the fangirls running D8<
After cursing Uta no Prince-sama for existing, I finally found a place that carried the issue: hmv.jp. To make the purchase worth it, I threw in a couple other magazines. This was my first time buying with hmv.jp and I was at first pleased with the shipping rate. Me, DAMN! That’s a really great price for shipping! About a week later I get my invoice and find the shipping tripled in price. TRIPLED!
Me: D8 THE BLOODY HELL!?
That I was NOT expecting. I learned later that hmv.jp is dick like that with its shipping price. Its initial estimate is just that…an estimate. And don’t be fooled by the disclaimer saying the shipping price might actually go down once the final processes have been completed. It doesn’t go down. IT GOES UP IF YOU’RE NOT IN JAPAN!
The final kick in the nuts was not only having to pay that exuberant price, but a month later receiving my missing issue of Sylph from fujisan. Turns out it was sent to like bumfuck no where which confuses me because I had been a customer with them for like 6 months and hadn’t had a lost package with them. So how did that work!?
So in conclusion, watch out if you’re buying with hmv.jp. Had they been honest with me up front about the price, I’d probably not be so pissed with them as I am still to this day. The high price is due to the shipping type = EMS (I didn’t realize it was EMS. I thought it was SAL from the cheap price ^^;). But for that price, I’d rather go with amazon.jp. Their shipping was almost the same but I get tracking with amazon.jp and it arrives sooner.
Wow, sorry for the long rant! I guess I was holding in that rage from all those months ago haha! Anyway, to the heart of what you’ve all been waiting for…SHOUNEN OUJO 8!
The chapter starts with Gii talking about babies. Alexia is getting on in years (14 and still single? The hell!?) and needs to be popping them kids out. He starts listing off potential fathers to produce said kids. There’s BLAH whose family is so fertile, just hearing his last name makes a person pregnant. However, there’s also BLU BLU whose family has connections and shiz to give any kids produced a great future…even if the guy in question looks like he has an ass for a face…but that’s not a problem as long as the kids take after Alexia :) Gii is interrupted by a “Hey, Lolicon.” He glares at Alexia. What, bitch!? This is important stuff I’m working with!
“You keep talking about popping out kids and offspring but I think you’re forgetting one crucial fact – I’m a dude.”
*cue Shounen Oujo theme song*
“The rose’s black fragrance makes it all the more brilliant.”
(lol whose shoes are those! Way to photo bomb the picture dude xD)
After that startling revolution (lol if you didn’t know “Alexia” had a penis, I suggest re-reading this series from the beginning haha xD), the scene shifts to Albert riding Oscar…the horse…in a non-bestiality way, people! I’m not sure if there’s some sort of social gathering going on but there are bunches of fancy dressed people loitering around. As “Alexia” drives by on “her” horse, they start to talk about “her:” Alexia looks like a stone cold hearted bitch but she’s quite the beauty! Only under her hand does that violent ruffian of a horse turn docile ~ ! But…she’s 14…why isn’t she pregnant and shooting out babies? Why is she not shacking up with those boyfriend candidates of hers? We need babies for this country to survive. Hump, your highness! Use the vagina! ( °д°)
Wow, a bunch of old hens desiring a 14 year old to get pregnant. Yeah, nothing wrong with that ಠ_ಠ
Apparently these dusty old hags have loud voices because Albert hears every word of their conversation despite traveling on a horse far away from them. That coupled with Gii’s earlier comments makes Albert think it’s a good time to reminiscence about what’s been happening since we last left our little cross dresser in chapter 7 ~ After taking Alexia’s place as princess, Albert has been working fervently to be her perfect double. He not only studied hard but worked on how to kick ass with a blade and eat like a girl would.
Apparently, real girls eat eggs and slices of oranges for dinner.
Also, not sure what to say about that…mud bath thing Albert is going through. 1.) it looks like that hand is digging into his fat going LOOK AT THIS! YOU ARE EATING TOO MUCH ORANGES! SO CHUBBY! And 2.) whoever the owner of that hand is (most likely Gii), the hand had to have touched Albert’s balls to cover them in mud since that’s what’s shown in the picture…looks like someone got over their fear of penises!
Gii: I TOUCHED A WHAT!? ヽ((◎д◎ ))ゝ
Though he can successfully look and act like a girl (lol, you were proved wrong Gii! No beard for Albert when he got older!), there is one thing Albert can’t do like a girl: reproduce like one. Albet is a sad panda over this.
(wow, usually, most guys would be happy with that fact. No menstrual cycles or labor pains for them! Lucky bastards…).
A neigh beings Albert out of his dark thoughts. Oscar is looking at him like, dude, no. Penises rule. Albert smiles and pets Oscar, thanking him for being a bud despite knowing that Albert isn’t really Alexia. His joyride done, Albert parks his horse and begins to walk around. His ankle decides now is a good time to give out and he starts to stumble all shojo like. And just like a shojo, a handsome man with flowing hair, sparkles, and chest hair is there to catch Albert before he falls.
Dat chest hair!
“Fufu. It would appear the nymphs of the forest are quite jealous of your beauty.”
Albert smiles and pokes the man in the eyes xD
When questioned wtf, Albert turns on his Alexia mode and lols about how the man’s powerss overwhelmed his girlish soul ~ This pleases the man as he’s all, well then baby, let’s get to know each other real well ;D
Albert: …I don’t think you want to see what’s under this skirt, buddy.
Apparently Fabio here is that BLAH fellow I mentioned at the beginning of the chapter. The one who if you say his last name three times while eating bacon, you and your mother will both become pregnant with his children. Guess it’s a good thing Albert is a boy otherwise he’d really be shooting them babies left and right like a cannon!
Oh yeah, and you remember those old hens from earlier? Well, they’re back to add what’s on their mind again. They talk about how Fabio is the best choice for Alexia’s fiancée. I mean, it beats Melcho… We see ol’ Melcho wandering around, trying to find his singer Olivie, who is currently surrounded by a lot of uteruses. Olivie raises a hand and waves at Melcho. The old bags comment that w/o Olivie, Melcho wouldn’t be able to put his underwear on right.
We jump over to Albert who managed to ditch Fabio. Gii pops out of no where like usual. In his hands are a bunch of letters, all written from Alexia’s aunt (the one that liked to shoot arrows at people all Hood like). Turns out after the assassination of Alexia, auntie was deemed the prime suspect in the murder and sent off to live in a big fancy mansion in seclusion and under watch 24/7. She’s been sending letters to Albert since then, pretty much saying stupid fucking kid I did not shoot that arrow at you two years ago. Sure I did shoot you all those other times but not that time. That was probably someone else. Stop making me a prisoner in this extravagant mansion. Oh it’s time for tea. Go fuck yourself, signed Auntie.
Gii and Albert lol about auntie for a second before Albert turns the situation series by talking about the real culprit behind Alexia’s murder. Thus far they haven’t found much on the individual since the incident. When Albert asks Gii to recall what he remembered about the assassin, Gii has a sad look on his face. Then:
“…while we’re on the subject, you didn’t let him touch them did you?”
Albert: ಠ_ಠ Huh?
Gii: Your balls (he actually says nether regions here but we all know he meant Albert’s man bits)
*by that pretentious pervy disgusting chest hair sporting individual*
Albert: WHY WOULD I LET HIM TOUCH ME THERE!?
*I’M NOT YOU!* <- lol what is that supposed to mean I wonder!
Haha oh Gii! You and your penis jokes. Albert tries to turn the situation back to talk about Alexia’s killer, not about his penis. However, Gii is very focused on Albert’s bits…because Albert needs to be popping them kids out.
Albert: IS THAT ALL YOU PEOPLE THINK ABOUT!? (((( ;°Д°))))
Gii goes on to repeat what those old hens were saying earlier: we need royal babies so the country can survive. Albert once again tells Gii that babies can’t come out of a boy. Gii leans in reallllllllll close to Albert and takes a hold of his hand. Whispering into his ear like a rapist before he does his act (seriously, Gii looks freakin creepy here), he tells Albert the fact Albert is a boy doesn’t change the fact they need babies.
“For example, even if you are a guy, that doesn’t change anything.” …wooooooowwwww that plus Gii’s creepy posing totally makes this scene look like a yaoi xD
“Since you are the one who decided to take Alexia’s place, you must see your decision through until the end *super creepy angle* What’s wrong? I believe that conviction is still in you.”
Albert gets pissed off – probably because he’s been doing his best to be Alexia and everyone doesn’t see that. All they see is that he ain’t pooping kids out – and pulls a shojo rule #11 run away and leave things awkward (not to be confused with rule #10, which is run away crying before the other person can finish what they are saying).
As Gii watches Albert’s skirt kick high in the air, revealing his butt (seriously, are skirts supposed to flap out like that when running!?) he thinks:
“Boys are deemed useless. Yet it is a boy who must give this country a miracle. Before the populace, you created a fake wonder. Please…it’s your duty to show me a miracle like you did back then.”
“Alexia-sama. If you cannot become someone who can complete that duty, then you…”
The scene changes to an old lady about to beat the shit out of some kid with a club. Apparently the kid tried to steal the bread she was selling to feed himself. The boy tries to justify his reasons by saying he can’t find employment where he can earn decent money…his penis means an instant 4 dollars off his hourly wages! The lady don’t give a shiz. That’s just how it is. Now, if that’s all he has to say, it’s time for some beatins!
A hand grabs hers, preventing her from smashing the boy to bits. The hand belongs to Theo! The lady tells Theo to get his mitts off her. Stupid dude. Theo manages to calm granny down by telling her he’ll pay for the boy’s bill (and he also squeezes her hand hard…while wearing a raper face D8 what’s with all the raper faces!?). Theo’s partner – some chick that looks like she’s wearing underwear instead of pants – appears and ends up paying for the bill. Theo lols and thanks her. As they walk, Theo comments about how ghetto the place they are in is now. Martha was right. When asked who Martha is, Theo explains she was a nice lady who raised him when he was younger. The girl – Nikora – asks why he’s not going to visit this Martha character since they’re in town. Theo looks at her before bursting into laughter. He’s a pirate! If he goes to see Martha, she’d probably break his ribs for choosing such a dumb occupation!
Besides he came back for a different reason. A flashback of Albert’s face crosses his mind.
I hope he’s alright.
With a sad look on her face (it’s obvious she has feels for Theo, though as in a crush or in a brotherly sense, I’m not too sure at this point), Nikora asks if Theo really is going to quit being a pirate after he finishes his business. Theo gives her a yeah, I’m gonna miss you too buddy smile and tells her yes.
Both: (´；ω；`) 。
But the depressed mood doesn’t stick around for too long. Nikora says the sooner Theo meets up with his friend, the better it is for the two. Until then…it’s time to get drunk! 8D
And the two do just that. However, at the bar, Theo over hears some guys talk about overthrowing the Queendom. Apparently the fact there are lots of ladies here in this establishment also drinking does not make these guys think hey maybe we should be holding our secret group meeting else where less…public. Nope, they go on using their outdoor voices and pretty much state everything from their reason for wanting to overthrow the Queendom (this boys < girls shiz has got to end) to their secret group name (we’re the Thunder of Moralta!!!!!!!!).
And I guess this is the only bar in town because guess who else is here? The assassin (or someone who dresses just like the assassin)!
(dude, it’s been 2 years. Think it’s about time to go buy some new clothes?)
The chapter ends with the assassin getting up and strutting away.
We have one more chapter of calm before shit hits the fan. Prepare yourself guys!