Tid-Bits: Desert Requiem Oneshot

The other Kuro Lala title I wrote a Tid-Bit for before I went on my internship ~

beginningdesert

Desert Requiem / Sabaku Requiem / 砂漠=鎮魂歌

This definitely gets MOST CREEPIEST CHARACTER (thus far) award. That little girl is just…wow o___O What she did in the end to his body…just…wtf…I did not think this oneshot was going to go down the psycho route so maybe that’s why her actions surprised me so much…

“A Shinigami?”

Desert Requiem is set in a fantasy world…I guess. Individuals called Soukashu/葬歌手 (lit. Burial Singers) wander the desert, singing their song to put the dead to rest. BTW no one likes the Soukashu. Not too sure why actually. I think it’s because their song puts the dead to rest and living people don’t like that? They see the Soukashu as the ones who take their loved ones? I don’t know *shrugs* I just pulled that guess from my ass ^^; Meh, we’ll just all agree it’s because this is a shojo and we need to have drama *thumbs up* xD

(but you have to ask, if the Soukashu don’t sing the dead to wherever, that means the souls are trapped to wander the earth for all eternity. Do you really hate grandpa that much to damn him to eternal unrest? Wasn’t abandoning him to the old folk’s home bad enough?)

The story follows a young girl who meets and eventually tags along with a Soukashu she encounters. At first he’s like, go the fark away and leave me be *emo in the rain pose*, but she tells him she’s looking for a tall tree and if he can take her there, she’ll leave him be. His tree fetish tickled, he changes his mind: Well gee golly, why didn’t you say that before? Let’s go 8D (Me: o___O; what?).

So they wander around, him doing his thing, her just…there. One night dude (Tsuki) asks why the girl (San) is looking for a tall tree. San tells him she plans on hanging herself off it 8D

Me:looktotheside

(and yes, she smiles as she tells Tsuki she’s going to commit suicide…)

Now, before you judge like me, you have to understand where she’s coming from. See, San is an unwanted existence and she starts her story off by retelling how when she was in the womb, she could hear her mom say “I don’t want you” over and over again.

Me:

looktotheside[6]

(uh…is that even possible?)

San grew up on the streets with no family or home to her name. People always treated her like crap and looked down on her. Thus she wants to find a tall tree – the closest one she can find to the sky – so she can be the one looking down on them, even in death.

Tsuki:

wtfbitch

Why are you surprised, Tsuki? How did you not notice the noose around her neck? Really, boy! xD

San assures him she won’t kill herself in front of him. No worries, dude.

Tsuki: THAT IS NOT THE PROBLEM HERE LITTLE GIRL! D8

But when you’re in a profession where everyone hates you and you have to fear for your life all so dead people can go to rest, traveling with a happy suicidal girl who wears the item she wants to kill herself with around her neck doesn’t seem that bad. Thus Tsuki doesn’t pursue the topic at hand.

As they travel, San learns first hand about how badly Tsuki is hated (and of course, being touched in the head like she is, she’s all lolololol everyone hates you lolololol they’re trying to kill us hohohoho 8D Me: o___O I know this is a shojo and making the female character smile a lot is required, but this is just plain creepy. Stop that please.). After a near death encounter with a thrown flowerpot (oooohhhh big thugs here xD), Tsuki explains that as a Shoukashu, he doesn’t age (though his height and hair do change. Guess puberty says fuck eternal life. YOU WILL HAVE PIMPLES AND ANGST DAMMIT!) and he doesn’t need things like sleep or food. Why are you talking about this? Because San is with him, he is influencing her too. As long as she is with him, she will have eternal youth and no longer need sleep and food. Thus she should leave him.

Ummmmmmmm, Tsuki. I think the part about people wanting to kill you presented a better convincing argument against being with you than pushing this “woe you’ll have eternal youth and no longer be tied down by the demands of your body” part. As a student who gets minimal wage and must use her paycheck on raising prices of food and gas while at the same time sacrificing sleep to study, I think being a Shoukashu may not be that bad, especially with all those perks. And the people hating me part? Haters goin’ hate, right? :P

hatersgonnahatesnowwhite

(wanted an excuse to use this gif xD)

Lol, sorry, just felt like being an ass :P

Back to the story. San counters with some more angst story on her end (I already went over it – this is the part where she hears mom saying GTFO of my womb, baby!). She then looks at Tsuki.

“Say, do you want to die together? It’s a lot less lonely that way.” :)

Tsuki: O___________________________o

Actually, Tsuki has a freak out. Turns out his previous master asked the same thing of Tsuki. S/he’s like, when I die, join me please ~

Eleven year old Tsuki: o_____________________________________o no

Wow, really, cougar? Really? Asking an eleven year old to join you in your death? Do you not see the fallacy in your logic? WTF kind of  moral is this one-shot giving to its readers?!

Tsuki’s freak out answers San’s question because the two don’t kill themselves and instead go on doing the Shoukashu thing. Since we only have 10 pages left and we need some drama, a kid comes and stabs Tsuki, demanding his mom back.

WTF!? A LITTLE SEVEN YEARD OLD KID SHANKED TSUKI!? WTF!? THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS ONESHOT!? D8

His mission in this oneshot complete, the kid leaves. Just like that. Tsuki is bleeding all over the place. Rather than administer some sort of medical aid to Tsuki, San instead settles for dragging Tsuki out of the city and into the desert. Naturally, you can expect Tsuki to have bled out QUITE a bit, and is in the final stages of dying. (ಠ_ಠ) Turns out that while the Shoukashu have eternal youth, they aren’t immortal. Stab wounds can kill them.

Me: (ಠ_ಠ) that’s dumb!

As they are talking, San drops Tsuki like a sack of bricks so she can smile down at him with the stars glistening the in background and say she’s always thought of Tsuki as an angel 8D Blah blah.

Me: (ಠ_ಠ) you just dropped an injured person…and is this really the time to be saying that…!?“

Not sure if it’s because of her words or if it’s because he was dropped but Tsuki starts to cry. He’s like, this is the first time anyone has said let’s live together to me ~

“San, being with you brought joy to my life. That’s why, I have a favor to ask. Don’t go deciding your own death.”

Dies.

San is all :/ he died on me. Damn.

“Tsuki…he looks like a fallen bird who can no longer fly.”

SO LET ME HANG YOU FROM THIS TREE WITH MY NOOSE 8D

I shit you not! The crazy bitch hangs TSUKI’S CORPSE from a MOTHERFUCKING tree!! D8 WTF!?

Then she becomes the next Soukashu because she memorized all the songs Tsuki sang. The one-shot ends with her walking away, wearing Tsuki’s bloodied Shoukashu cape thing….

End.

end

This oneshot was just…dumb. If it was going for emotions, it hit the wrong ones. If it was going for innovation, it lost me. I don’t understand why Tsuki had to advertise himself as a Shoukashu. Wear something that DOESN’T stand out and say KILL ME! And why kill him? All he’s doing is helping dead people go to their final resting place. It’s not like he’s going to their graves, unleashing a load down their throats, and jacking off right then and there. I see no reason to be angsty. That’s like punching a funeral director for cremating a body.

And that girl! WTF KIND OF ROLE MODEL IS SHE!? FRIEND DIES? HANG HIM LIKE A CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT! WTF! WTF! REALLY!?

4 thoughts on “Tid-Bits: Desert Requiem Oneshot

  1. ha ha…ha ha. God that had me cracking up. God i’m supposed to be getting ready to go out but damn that was funny. Thanks!!

    • Thank the author for making this one-shot ridiculous xD I mean really, who hangs their friend when he dies, steals his clothes, and goes off singing happily into the sunset!? xD

      Thanks for the comment! Sorry for the late reply!

  2. San… she’s such a crazy chartacter. At first, I thought that she was a boy. Strangley, I cannot hate her. I bet she will make a ‘good’ female villain. Cute face, creepy attitude.

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