I just need to time it before the connection drops, which is around every 5-8 minutes…

Don’t worry though. I’m still reading my manga as we speak ~ (yeah I brought manga with me on this internship because that’s how thug nerd I am) and I’ll be able to blog about them when I’m free in…April/May-ish? I’m not sure on the date because once I’m done with this internship, I have my PLEASE LET ME GRADUATE DAMMIT HOW MUCH MONEY HAVE I GIVEN YOU AND YOU’RE MAKING ME WRITE A XX PAGE PAPER TO PROVE I SHOULD GRADUATE I HATE YOU WAH MOMMY paper (I expect much crying around this time, on my part. My school doesn’t care. It ENJOYS my tears and charges me extra for giving it JOY! D: Yes kids. That’s how college works.).

Then relatives are coming over for my graduation.

Then I graduate and get drunk on the town and yeah… Lots of stuff happening!

Please keep safe you guys/gals/bananas/etc. and I’ll hopefully see you all again in April/May/the future 8D

PS. If you’re absolutely destroyed without my presence, you could always stalk me on Twitter 8D

Throwing this one in too ~ Here are some quick summaries of 2 Kuro Lala oneshots ~ These 2 have actually been scanned so there’s no point in reading this unless you have a fear of pictures xD Or would like to give your opinion about the oneshots ~ :3

Kokoro Rental/Rental Hearts (ココロ・レンタル) oneshot
By Hano Chise (羽野ちせ)

(Mangaupdates information)

“It’s feasible. All it takes…is a rental”

Main plot: Chick likes this dude. But dude doesn’t really know she exists, because Chick is quiet and keeps to herself. One day when renting a movie, some creepy cashier is like, hey you want to win his heart? I know all about your situation. And your name. And where you go to school. And I know what color panties your dad has on right now. Don’t question why I know all this. Just accept it because this is a oneshot and I’m making a creepy face (and we all know creepy faces mean something in the manga world). He explains she can win her dude’s love by renting him…lol that’s sounds so dumb and wrong xD (if you have the power to control people, why waste it by giving school girls a hard lesson? xD). And girl feels the same. She goes f you freak and leaves but since this is a oneshot dedicated to creepy stuff, her reasoning goes out the door and so she goes back to the cashier later like, sure why not. I haven’t questioned why you know about me or my dad’s Victoria Secret fetish so why question about a shop that rents people? And also, we’d have no plot to this oneshot ^___^.

She acquires a DVD starring her man from cashier. However, like all rented items, she has a set time limit on how long she can rent the DVD (this is important). While watching the DVD, she discovers that whatever she wants to happen when watching the DVD will happen in the movie played on the DVD. Then what happens in the movie happens in real life. All of a sudden, the man of her dreams is now her man! YAY! Things are going sweet save for his fanclub bitches who are confused with what’s going on and treat Chick like shit (I call them bitches because they treated Chick like shit before this). However, the return date is quickly approaching. Cashier tells Chick that if she wants to rent the movie for an extended period of time, she has to pay $100/night (or she can just work on her appearance and personality like other shojo heroines instead of relying on devil magic to possess her man into liking her. But she quickly rejects the latter option xD). Desperate to keep her man, Chick tries to steal money to pay cashier. But then she thinks instead, hey I’ll just say I lost the dvd, pay a fine, and keep my boy toy forever without having to pay $100/night! Brilliant. She tries this approach. Cashier dude is all =___= you really expect me to believe that shit? Chick flips and tells him to f it hard in the butt because she’s the customer and so what she says is true *crazy face* Later that night, while going home with her man, she receives a letter demanding the return of the DVD or else ~ She’s like, wtf!? Her man suddenly stops being her man and leaves her. Girl: D: wtf!? My man! If that didn’t suck, then this next part will! Later at school, the bitches rat on Chick for stealing (they had been watching her closely to get some dirt on her. Beware the fanclub, for they are strong in their hate). While running from the law, Chick is losing it – I didn’t do anything wrong ~ tee hee hee *crazy face* Two crazy faces always = screwed. Out of no where, creepy cashier appears. He tells her he’s here to collect the late fee on the dvd. Also that she can f it hard in the butt. The scene blanks out. She’s on the floor and he’s got a DVD in his hand. And a creepy face. The oneshot ends with chick hanging with the bitches, buying them whatever they want. We pan out to look at others on the street to see certain individuals have due dates on them (including chick). Turns out they’re all rentals. Cashier is smiling like a creeper. He lols at what people will do for their desires (Chick for her man, her man for his parents <- so that’s how he’s in the rental library. But does that mean his parents rented a dvd and tried to stiff the late fees and became rentals too??? o3o). A boy walks in & the cycle repeats

“To rent or to be rented. I wonder, just how many hearts out there are rentals?”

Moral of the story: When a guy tells you he can loan out the organ of the one you like so you can control said person, and he knows all your personal information, don’t listen to him. Leave. Call the cops too.

Ningyou-Saisei-koujyou//Doll Rebirth Workshop (人形再生工場) oneshot
By: Nakamura Yukichi (中村ユキチ)

(mangaupdates information)

“Welcome to the Doll Rebirth Workshop.”

Here’s what we got: some pencil dude runs a doll shop. He can grant your dreams but at a cost. Today’s victim is a young girl who sings like an angel but I guess doesn’t look like one. Really, she doesn’t look that bad but apparently in manga terms, she’s fat and ugly >___> She likes this dude who, unlike the dude in Rental Heart, knows she exists and talks to her a bunch. Like Rental Heart, we have a bitch. In this case, it’s his childhood friend. Ugh, she’s such a douchebag. The bitch knows the girl likes dude and does everything in her power to stop the girl from confessing – talking shit to her, calling the girl fat and in need of plastic surgery to cure her looks, etc (she’ll go more dramatic later). And we all remember high school (or maybe you’re still in it *feels old*) where little things like this could rock our worlds hard. Due to her looks, the girl has no confidence in herself. One day, she receives a text about a place that can grant any wish. Because she’s the heroine of a creepy themed oneshot (girl: shit!), she goes to check out the place. The pencil dude inside says he can make her a babe, but it’ll cost her her singing voice. Girl: Normally I’d question how you got my number and what kind of shady operation you are holding here behind your doll shop front that requires the payment of my voice but meh. Let’s do this so my actions can serve as a lesson to the readers. And so her face and body get remodeled (using woodcarving tools o____O). She’s a new woman with confidence! She asks her man out but it turns out he’s liked her for a long time – she’s nice, her voice is beautiful, and she’s not his bitch childhood friend. Wow, this one-shot could have had a happy ending had it not been featured in Kuro Lala…

Girl says yeah, let’s hookup ~ Bitch gets pissed and flips out. Dude tells her to shove a tampon in it. Later, Bitch confronts girl about dude. Girl tells bitch to get some plastic surgery on her attitude (lol I can so see the girl mentally high-fiving herself over this). Bitch instead pulls out a box cutter and tries to attack girl (o___O holy shit). While trying to shank girl, bitch rants about how she likes dude and she wants to marry him but girl is taking him away from her wah wah. (You’re trying to stab someone with a sharp object, ma’am. And you’re an asshole. Is it not clear on why he doesn’t like you?). Girl pushes her off only to knock the bitch through a glass window o___O. Really? How the hell do you push someone through a glass window!? What kind of cheap Wal-Mart shit is this school using!? Girl runs for it xD

Yadda yadda. Everyone is shocked about bitch jumping out a window. So far the incident has been labeled as a suicide attempt (not going to question that box cutter right next to her? Or the slash on her face? Do girls who commit suicide really fark up their face before jumping through a pane of glass?). Girl is shitting herself over the event but decides to forget about it to concentrate on the school festival coming up. She’s to sing a solo but she’s nervous because she doesn’t have her voice…right? After hearing dude say he would feel better about the whole suicide thing if he could hear her sing, girl attempts to…and succeeds! Only to have her head explode off and instead bitch’s pops out from her neck stump.

o__O

Turns out bitch made a contract with pencil doll dude (not sure how he got into her hospital bed room but whatever). So now girl is dead and bitch is back ~ Wow. I feel bad not only for girl but also the dude. If I were him, I’d be committing myself to an institute right now. Girl I love explodes and out comes my crazy friend who is an ass? Fuck this shit.

The story ends with a visit to the doll shop. We see a doll just like the girl. So I guess clients in the end turn into dolls? Well, that sucks. A girl enters the store and the cycle continues…

“Ah. Seems our next customer has arrived.”

Moral of the story: Don’t open stuff from people you don’t know, whether it be packages, texts, or emails. Bad things usually follow.

My second read into Kuro Lala. If you’ve ever watched Groundhog Day but wished it were drawn in shojo style with no groundhogs because of traumatic childhood reasons, then your wish has been granted ~

Katakoi // Unrequited Love (カタコイ) Oneshot by Nanri Jyun (南里純)

**No mangaupdate info at the moment

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Taku. This is all my fault.”

Katakoi follows a young girl named Niimi. She’s in love with her childhood friend but is unsure if she wants to admit her feelings or not. They have a pretty good thing going on right now and she doesn’t want to risk losing it. After a day of school, cleaning, and hanging with Taku (the childhood friend), Niimi settles into bed. She was unable to confess today (lol so much for being unsure xD) but tomorrow is another day. Or is it? Niimi wakes up to find the exact same scenario playing again. Today is September 9, 2011. But that’s not right…right? Reasoning she must have been dreaming, Niimi is able to get through the day in a non-freaking-the-fuck-out fashion. She even gathers the courage to finally say the BIG words to Taku. But as she opens her mouth, pain shoots through her. WTF!? Could this be warning signs of leaky diarrhea!?  Bad stinky gas!? :U DO SHOJO HEROINES EVEN FART!? Well, whatever it is, Niimi instead goes home rather than hang with Taku like in her dream and the day ends…only to start again. 

“I’m the only one that notices.”

Niimi continues to relive September the 9th. However, it’s not all that bad because she gets to be with Taku. Every day she spends with him increases her feelings for him more and more. I’m actually quite surprised by how calm she is with the whole situation. I guess it’s like dude in Groundhog Day. You eventually just suck it up and go with the flow, rather than commit suicide by driving your car off a cliff with the town groundhog in the passenger’s side seat (I’m not sure if it was a cliff or if it was just a hole…been awhile since I watched the movie). Once again Niimi tries to confess her feelings. And again she gets the painful sensation, however, this time she also has images to accompany the pain. The images form a scene. We see Niimi and Taku walking home. Niimi is trying to confess but she loses confidence and instead tells Taku she’ll tell him what she wants to say tomorrow. He starts saying something as she starts backing away. However, Niimi backs up just as a car comes by. Taku grabs her, pushes her out of the way, and instead takes the hit.

I need to interrupt here for a second.

Witness how dude becomes roadkill:

Talk talk girl backs into traffic because there is no sidewalk..

This car is like, ho shit damn obstruction of view – can’t stop in time!

Dude: Being a hero by…wait, how did I get like this? o3o

Dude: Yay saved the girl – OH SHIT OUCH MY BALLS!

Now, for all of you that ever get into a situation like this, here is the correct way to react (if you were positioned like these two)

See, you both live and hey, you get a nice romantic scene going on.

Do not do as Taku did:

See the difference? Notice the lack of blood in scenario #1. This has been helpful advice from Sylphalchemist. Thank you.

Back to the story:

Somehow, and I’m not sure on the how part, watching her man take a hit (by a car, not from drugs xD lol oops bad wording) makes Niimi come to the realization that ho shit bitches, she’s in a coma because of the accident and that’s why she keeps repeating September 9 – the day of said accident!!!

[During this part I was like, (ಠ_ಠ) what? Did I miss something? *goes back and rereads* *doesn’t find anything* *reasons the answer is because this is a shojo* Then I started thinking, why is she the one in the coma? He’s the one that currently has no face because it’s splattered on the windshield of that car… *ponders* *reasons the answer is because this is a shojo* *nods head in understanding*]

“Because I’m too scared to awaken from this dream, the real me is trapped asleep.”

After telling dream Taku her theory about the reason September 9 keeps repeating for her (he’s just looking at her like (ಠ_ಠ) um, are you high? I thought you stopped doing shrooms…) she says she doesn’t want to continue dreaming because even though she gets to be with dream Taku, he’s beef jerky underneath someone’s car wheels in the real world and that makes this dream painful for her…

At her words, the world shatters and out comes some mass of hair wearing a vest.

(ಠ_ಠ)

(ಠ_ಠ)

(ಠ_ಠ)

What?

Yeah……….. >___>

It starts chasing her. She naturally runs from it because 1.) it’s a mass of hair wearing a vest (or maybe a mass of muscle? Whatever, it’s freaky to look at) and 2.) it’s chasing her. As she runs, she thinks, wtf. If I die here, will I never wake up in the real world? This progress to oh woe is me for not being able to confess back to Taku and accidently getting him run over (why isn’t she questioning why there’s a stylish hairball chasing her!?). We retrospect once again to the accident. Right before he gets bumped off by the car, Taku tells Niimi he loves her….BAM! GUTS FLYING!

Then, since we only have about 5 pages left, Niimi turns around and says f this. I’m going back to the real world. Come at me, bro! (lol so much for worrying about dying here and never waking up xD). The vest wearing hair that apparently has rocket boosters for legs (didn’t notice that before xD) catches up to her – it destroys the entire world and engulfs her.

The end. Thank you for reading!

Jk ;P

The sound of beeping wakes Niimi up. Above her she sees a nurse looking down at her. The nurse freaks that Niimi is up and rushes to the door to get the doctor. Niimi sees it’s September 9th from a calendar nearby. That means today is the day of the accident! Before the nurse leaves, Niimi asks where Taku is.

“He’s not here anymore.”

Niimi starts bawling because Taku’s dead and she won’t be able to say how much she loves him (she’s saying all this out loud mind you for drama reasons). A pair of hands suddenly pull her into a hug. She realizes the person is Taku! WTF MAN!? WHY AREN’T YOU A MEAT CARPET ON THE STREET!? Meh, whatever. TAKU <3

Turns out that it’s September 9, 2012. One year after the accident. Taku made it out of the accident okay but Niimi fell into a coma (for some reason). Despite doctors telling him she’s a lost cause (D: wow, nice) and he should give up/stop coming, Taku went to the hospital every day to visit Niimi.

Some time passes and Niimi is discharged from the hospital. The nurses talk about Niimi’s miraculous recovery despite the odds stacked against her.

“The power of love…is amazing.”

End

Again, not bad. I liked the cute ending. I’m still scratching my head about the clothed furball though. I was kind of hoping this was going to be like Groundhog Day and the main girl was going to do all sorts of things during this “repeat” in time situation – like learn secrets about her friend, become an ice sculpting expert, go crazy, etc

Lol xD While I can see it’s value to mothers who are genuinely concerned with their kids’ craps, if your kid is constantly shitting blood, I don’t think consulting an app is the best course of action. Just saying.

Another random app I came across was Pee Pee Boy, whose name I used as the title for this post. Yes, this is real, people. I took pictures (I didn’t take pictures of DiaperDoctor because who wants to see turds o___O):

Here are your instructions:

“Help the young boy cleanly pee, without his, well “thingy” getting pinched while doing so.”

“…this is accomplished by touching the boy and holding your touch…”

“…let go too early [and] the boy pees all over himself and you lose.”

(ಠ_ಠ) wow, is it me or does this sound like some kinky child porno?

I won't lie...I lol-ed at this screenshot xD

“Let me tell you, I’m a fifty year old man and I have never had my “pee pee” smashed by no toilet seat.” – my dad after I showed him this game xD (he also has the Free App Tracker)

In manga news, I haven’t been doing much. I read 1-7 of Your and My Secret. Very entertaining. Just make sure, if you’re planning on reading this series, to take NOTHING seriously. Once you start that, you’ll be too busy judging to lol ~ Sad days though with Your and My Secret – Tokyopop crashed and died before the last volume was ever released in English. Guess I’ll have to import the last one. Oh damn you dollar to yen conversion rate ; A ;

And, while cleaning my room, I found my old copies of Gamerz Heaven. The re-read was still as funny as the first time 8D Man I love manga about video game parodies ~ as a video game nerd, it just tickles my humor bone for some reason ~ I need to find more manga like Gamerz Heaven. But we have sad days as well with Gamerz Heaven because ADV manga crashed and died before the last two volumes were ever released. Unlike with Your and My Secret, Gamerz Heaven is OOP so eBay is probably my only option to find the last two volumes 8Y damn…

ANDDDDD, that’s about it.

Oh, Boy Princess/Shounen Oujo has been picked up by a scan group ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ It can be found here ~ Yeah ~ more Sylph love!

I’m trying to get in more shojo practice so I’m reading a special volume of Lala called Kuro Lala. I also have Shiro Lala but I’m planning on taking that with me when I leave to intern. Kuro Lala looks too freaky to take with me xD I don’t want to scare my fellow interns with the cover haha!

Nothing too lol-tastic here. I’m just blahing to have some update on this blog

Genei Realism (現影リアリズム)** Oneshot by Toone Suga (十音颯)

No mangaupdates info as of right now. Mangaupdates does not have oneshot information unless a group has scanned it. Which is why they pretty much told me to go die when I tried to add a oneshot long ago :,< Mangaupdates scares me…>____>|||

**現影 is a play on words. While “genei” means “phantom” or “illusion,” the kanji used in the title is different than in the dictionary –> 幻影 vs 現影. The kanji in the title, when broken up, means “present/current” and “shadow,” which I believe is related to the heroine’s ability to see the true nature/sins of individuals via their shadow. Or I’m just reading too much into it

“The shadows…continue to haunt me.”

Genei Realism was an interesting one shot. Not bad for my first Kuro Lala title (*Genei Realism is actually the last oneshot in the magazine. I have a habit of reading Lala magazines from the back instead of the front. I think it’s because of the issue’s massive size xD Reading from the end makes me feel less intimidated haha). The story follows a student who is able to see freaky ass shadows. When she sees one of these weird shadows, it pretty much means bad shit is going to happen. The plot for this oneshot revolves around a serial offender on the loose. While the main girl is able to identify the individual based on his shadow (she can’t see his face because he’s dressed up like he’s about to go stab someone…you know, face hidden with a hoodie and all that), she believes she can’t do anything without proof so she just sits back and lets the guy stab girls o__o;

But before you go, wtf (like I did), realize the girl herself has it rough. Because of her powers, everyone thinks she’s a freak and has no friends. Hell, some girls even beat the main girl just because she was in the vicinity of where a victim was again (oh shojo…your logic sometimes…). The girl has no confidence in herself and just lives her life with her head down. Thus the “I’m a useless piece of dried dog poo in someone’s yard so I can’t do anything” mentality.

Her life takes a change though when one day, a dude pops out from her shadow (yeah, I was like, um what the hell!? o__o;). He explains to her the nature of the shadows she sees (again, what the hell? xD). Shadows are strongly connected to the person they are attached to. If the person has done something bad, his or her shadow will reflect that. Thus why the girl sometimes sees super freaky shit shadows instead of not-as-freaky shit shadows. Normal people don’t see the shadows but special ones like her can ~

(There is also talk about the shadow world but meh. I got the main details out)

From this encounter, the girl changes a bit now that she knows what the shadows mean (to which I’m thinking, you honestly never saw the connection between the shadows and the people? Really? I’m not the fastest turtle on the racetrack when it comes to finding things out but even I got that one… ・ε･ *feels special because I’m smarter than a shojo heroine* xD). Some time later, as she’s walking to class, she sees the brat pack (the bitches that like to beat her up). She overhears one of the girls talk about wanting to go visit some cutie she took a picture of (lol creeper (^O^) ). As she’s describing the guy, the bitch mentions the bishi has a badass spider tattoo on his hand. Girl recalls seeing a spider tattoo on the assailant (to which I’m thinking, OMFG THERE’S YOUR EVIDENCE RIGHT THERE! THAT’S SOMETHING TO GIVE TO THE POLICE щ(ﾟﾛﾟщ) IT’S BETTER THAN TAGGING AFTER THE GUY THEN STOPPING IN THE SHADOWS! IT’S SOMETHING!). Girl jumps out and says STAY AWAY FROM THAT CRACKER! HE TROUBLE, GIRLFRIEND!, surprising both her and the bitches. When asked, wtf, girl decides to be proactive and tells the bitches she recalls seeing the assailant and he had a spider tattoo on his hand. Not comprehending her words, the bitches instead settle for beating the girl and locking her in the gym shed ⦿__o wow, a simple, STFU and GTFO, would have sufficed. Seriously shojo…

Stuck in the gym/shed, girl pounds on the door until her hands start to bleed. She looks at her hands and starts to think that maybe it’s better if the bitches bit it. If they’re dead, that means no more beatings. She looks down at the floor and stares at her shadow. Girl recalls Shadow Man’s words – people and their shadows are connected. Falling into darkness is easy. If she just sits by and says fuck it, she’ll be the same as the those evil people…I guess. Pumped from her monologue, she devises a way to get out of the shed – by using a baseball bat to smash open a window (ﾉ◕▽◕)ﾉ Whoa, a shojo heroine being badass!

“Light and Darkness. The two are always together. Which means, we have another side to us!”

Okay then xD Girl runs into town. To help pass the time, girl monologues about how she was wrong to look the other way when people were being stabbed and how she was just scared of her powers so that was why she didn’t do anything. She navigates the streets until eventually she appears right in time to stop Mr. Spider Tattoo from stabbing one of the bitch girls (not sure how girl knew where the two were. I mean, how did she know they would be in this alleyway? Thank goodness for lazy offenders who stab near their workplace I guess). Girl tells Mr. Spider Tattoo to drop the knife because she’s called the cops and they’re on the way here. Raor. (｡ﾉ｀Д´｡)ﾉ. Mr. Spider Tattoo just looks at her like, really? (ಠ_ಠ) That’s the best you got? You realize it’s going to take like 10 minutes for them to get their lard asses here. And you know, it doesn’t take 10 minutes to slit a throat. Do the math.

Girl: (ﾉ☉∇☉)ﾉ … Oh. Well, shit.

Wished you kept that baseball bat now, huh? xD Mr. Spider Tattoo hurls the bitch at girl, knocking them both to the ground. Bitch is out and has girl pinned to the ground with her bubble butt. With the option to run away disabled, girl hugs the bitch to shield her from Mr. Spider Tattoo’s knife. Why? Because this is shojo. However, Shadow Man makes an appearance. He says he can’t have girl die because she’s too entertaining.

_██_
(ಠ_ృ)

Instead he turns the tables and takes out Mr. Spider Tattoo via pointy shadow spears. But this is shojo so he doesn’t die The death rate in standard shojo is usually in the single digits ~ (unless the person in question is of relation to one of the main characters. Because parents/family are always getting run over in shojo xD)

The police come. Mr. Spider Tattoo goes to jail. For those who are curious, the reason he went on a stabbing spree was because his girlfriend dumped him and rather than STFU and get over it, he decided to take out his feelings via a knife :/ Girl comments about how things haven’t changed much. She still has her powers. She still doesn’t have friends. At least the bitches don’t beat her up though :3

In her shoe cubby, she finds some bandages left by the bitch who almost got shanked. I know this is supposed to be touching but really. Can’t you just go up to girl and say thanks for saving your ass and give out a “my bad” for beating her up all those times?

“Nothing has changed but…my gaze is no longer glued to the ground.”

The chapter ends with girl looking up at the sky, smiling.

“Where there is darkness, you will surely find light.”

End.

Genei Realism wasn’t a bad one-shot. Didn’t like how the bitches kept beating up the main girl. But this is shojo and beating the main character adds more flavor to the drama I guess ^^; I hope the girl becomes a cop or something and uses her power for good instead of crying about it like in the beginning Maybe she can become the next Medium or whatever cop x mystical powers based tv show is out there right now (<- does not watch tv much). And Shadow Man can be her bitch 8D Go Shadow Man! Pull them into the Shadow Realm where they will be forced to play a children’s card game for all eternity ~ (Ah, Yu-gi-Oh. How you amuse me ^^). Also create sexual tension between the two of you! xD

I’m sort of glad Kuro Lala isn’t as dark as I was thinking it was going to be (thus far). I totally thought this would be filled with murders, limbs being chopped off, eyes melting, etc. You know, super scary shit. That was why I only wanted Shiro Lala because Shiro Lala looked all cute and fluffy (which is right up my alley 8D). But I needed something for free shipping with Akadot, thus why Kuro Lala is next to me as I’m typing this xD

Lol Shining Tears caters to all shippers: both straight, GL, and BL xD I kid about the last two but really, I fear for Shion’s butt when it comes to PJs now. PJs is a little TOO interested in sticking his sword into Shion o___O

Shining Tears (シャイニング・ティアーズ) Chapter 2

(Mangaupdates information)

Shion: Xion
Elf Girl: Elwyn
Pissy: Neige
Nacho: Volg(?) – they keep calling him Dancho/Leader
Mao: Mao
Glasses: Piosu (not sure what his Eng adaptation name is)
PJs: Keiner

***No new characters

The chapter starts off with a recap of what happened in chapter 1 – 1.) some dude (Batman) is trying to take over this city whose name I can’t spell, 2.) there is a band of mercenaries who have nothing better to do and so are protecting said city (yeah, now that I think about it…why are they protecting the city again?), 3.) a boy with amnesia named Shion enters the ranks of the mercenaries (because it was either that or death), 4.) turns out he has a schitzo problem that manifests when someone wears one of his matching rings, and 5.) he like murdered an army because that’s what you do when you go schitzo I guess o___o;

Lot of (wtf random) shit happened in chapter 1…

We continue our story of swords and magic with Elf girl complaining about how sore she is (wow had she been a dude…so many yaoi jokes could have been made xD). Glasses reckons she’s probably tired due to the Twin Dragon Rings – the rings Shion has. Since everyone is staring at him like, wtf you talking about, you dress wearing cracker? ⊂•⊃_⊂•⊃, he explains about the rings because that’s his expected job as a glasses wearing character – to talk about shit no one cares about. Hey, stereotypes wouldn’t exist if they weren’t true Yadda Yadda, the rings give the wearers the power of the gods but also misfortune. Blah blah the last person to have owned the rings met an unfortunate end. Whooooo ヽ(ﾟ◇ﾟ )ﾉ At his story, everyone in the room gets a bit creeped out. His point taken by his audience, Glasses says it’s probably best not to use the rings much. Shion reluctantly agrees. Elf girl thinks differently. She accuses Shion of not wanting her to wear the ring because he doesn’t like her and so doesn’t want her to have the matching pair (ugh you are such a stupid bitch. Did you not hear the part about misfortune and unfortunate ends? Ծ_Ծ). She takes the ring and shoves it into her cleavage which is probably akin to throwing a needle in a haystack (meaning, she has monstrously huge honkers that I’m sure a couple rats fell down into and died there…so chances of getting that ring back are slim). She taunts Shion – there you go ~ grab it and it’s all yours. However, Shion is Pansy Shion so he’s not the type to slap her across the face and take back what’s his. Damn, if only Homicidal Shion were the personality in charge right now…

However, Pissy has no qualms about dumpster diving into Elf girl’s junk. She retrieves the ring, saying it’s her turn to have Shion since he’s her bitch too xD (Shion: ŎםŎ; what?). She turns to Glasses and pretty much tells him to shove his concern where the sun don’t shine. They need the rings because without them, the gang sucks. Realizing the truth to her words –that they do indeed suck – everyone agrees the rings should stay lol xD And with that, the matter is settled.

The next item on today’s agenda is to work on kicking some army butt. Glasses is the strategist of the party and decides the best route right now is to tackle the army indirectly by hitting their supplies (wait, I thought Shion killed everyone yesterday? There was like NO ONE left except Centaur dude and PJs >___>). Pissy says sweet, me and Shion will handle this.

Shion: >8U why me!?

Pissy: Because I will bite your penis off if you refuse (╬ ಠ益ಠ)

Shion: 8U
…
[but that doesn’t make sense…]

And off the two go (poor Shion). Pissy and Shion take the back gate because apparently the army did not think to station guards out back… xD Yay for lazy evil bad guys! (or probably because there are like 5 guys left in this so called army because Shion killed/raped/ate the rest…). After some walking and near panty flashing, Shion and Pissy find themselves on the top of some cliffs. Down below are a shitton of soldiers marching by. Rather than hide and strategize, Shion and Pissy instead feel the need to chat, standing straight up, making no effort to conceal themselves. Really…thank goodness for lazy bad guys xD Pissy believes the large number of soldiers below are reinforcements since Shion pretty much mass murdered everyone in the army back in chapter 1.

Shion: Tee Hee ~  (ﾉ◕▽◕)ﾉ

I WAS RIGHT!

After a bit more dialogue, Pissy decides it’s time they activated their Wonder Twin powers ~ Shion says he doesn’t want to use the rings because he turns into an ass. As she slips the ring on, Pissy mumbles that she doesn’t mind her men crazy and abusive.

Shion: ŎםŎ; that’s not healthy…

BOOM! Pissy puts the ring on. Thankfully her facial expression is just one of someone who finally let out a fart she has been holding in xD She looks over to Shion expectantly but is severely disappointed when a fist doesn’t come flying at her. Instead of Homicidal Shion, we have…Ideal Man Shion. He’s a polite talker who can still kick ass when needed ~  Which is not what Pissy was looking for at all. She takes her irritation out by kicking him (poor Shion D:) which somehow causes the cliff they are on to collapse ((ಠ_ಠ) wow she WAS looking forward to being beaten by Homicidal Shion!).

In case you all didn’t believe me ^^

Despite falling from a cliff, the two land safely on the ground because this is a manga. However, knocking a rock formation apart is something that even our lazy bad guys register a glance at. They surround our duo and demand to know wtf is going on. Pissy says LET’S KILL THEM ALL >8D and the two mass murder once again!

(omfg how many orphans and widows have been made from these two chapters alone D:)

Soon, the army is taken down and all that remains standing are our two heroes in midst of a sea of limbs and frozen body parts ò .ó Ho damn this manga is violent!!! However, something flies at Shion – it’s PJs! PJs is horny to battle Shion because Shion is strong and PJs likes strong men ;D

Shion: (ಠ_ಠ) why did he just winky face me?

Lol, I like that PJs holds his sword like it's a 2 x 4 - you stab with a sword, not beat someone over the head with it haha xD

Battle horny, the two fight. Pissy tries to stop them but the two are too focused on pounding each other to care (don’t worry, they have their pants on folks xD We’re not talking about THAT kind of pounding haha). Eventually Pissy says GADDAMMIT! and stops their man on man action with a spell that freezes them in their tracks (which 6 pages ago, was the spell used to reduced a good chunk of the male population and left many families with one less family member o___o;). Unable to poke each other with their swords, the boys are forced to talk. Turns out PJs is Pissy’s brother. Also they are royalty. And both are the siblings of Batman (the dude trying to take over the world or whatever). PJs said he left the throne to Batman so he could go travel the world to find strong men <3 …ohohoho ~

Pissy: =____= …and here we thought Batman was the fruity one…

When asked if he’s working with the bad guys/Batman, PJs looks at his sister like, what you talking about, girl? The only reason he stepped in last time was because Centuar dude is cool and having him die right there because it turns out he wasn’t that strong would suck (lol what!? xD That’s dumb but whatever). PJs is back to stop his brother (and find those worthy of making him produce a battle boner ~ ) – but first, back to fighting Shion >:D Before the two can start their fight again, Pissy pulls off the ring so Ideal Man Shion turns back into Pussy Shion. Shion trips and headbutts PJs in his man-nipples, which I guess must really hurt because PJs is on the ground crying >__>

PJs: No man has ever been so bold as to touch me there. I think I'm in love (。・_・。)

Despite her brother clutching his man boobs in pain, Pissy ignores his plight and tells her brother to join them (wow, this group of mercenaries will take just any Jo Blow off the street D:). PJs says f that but when Pissy sweetens the deal by offering Shion’s ass, PJs quickly changes his mind.

PJs:

Shion:

The chapter ends with Shion donning on a chastity belt Mao making an appearance. She comes running up to the gang saying whatever city the gang is trying to protect has been attacked. The gang look behind to see giant plumes of smoke in the air (lol! If you look behind Mao the first time, there is no smoke. But switch one panel and suddenly there is smoke behind her xD Nice).

End

Ah, I said “ugh what a dumb bitch” only once this chapter 8D Yay! Probably because Elf girl wasn’t here! I thought I’d hate Pissy as well but she’s got spunk. Gotta admire that (even if she lacks pants…). Plus I like that she blushes a lot around Shion, and doesn’t come up with stupid logic like Elf bitch. But the character I’m happy to have around is PJs. There was just wayyyyyyyyyy too much cleavage for my interest. I like bro friendship a lot (that’s what gets me through a lot of manga orientated for dudes) so I’m hoping for good stuff from Shion and PJs. Also, I’m hoping Shion goes for either Mao or Pissy. Elf girl can go hump a tree for all I care xD

Want more Tid-Bits? Check out the Tid-Bits section for more boring word spew courtesy of Sylphalchemist 8D

A little late but I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas!!! (or to those who don’t celebrate Christmas, to instead have a Happy Holidays instead!). I hope you all were able to enjoy the day, whether it be with good food, good company, good presents, or what have you :3

***To those curious about the two featured in the picture, the plushie is of Totoro (a Christmas present from my dad because I kept randomly saying TOTORO! like 93 times after I saw the plushie in a Japanese store we frequent for actual non-expired Japanese goods xD), and the dog is my dad’s (my dog was passed out on the living room couch at the time so that’s why I only have Bu in the picture ~ ).

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s bed time ~

[New Arrival] BROTHERS CONFLICT Character CD #3 (featuring Yuusuke** & Kiori**) (Audio CD)
http://dengekiya.com/girls/323/?aid=twitter（PC）
http://dengekiya.com/m/girls/323/?aid=twitter (Mobile)

**I don’t follow the series so I’m not sure if I got their names right. When it comes to names, I need furigana ^^;

[Limited Time Offer!] The prices on the DGS Hibiki Neko Masshigura Hibiki Tins (Premium Caramel Tins) have been slashed ☆ The cookies/candies in the tins are nearing their expiration dates (in March) so we’re taking 30% off the retail price for a limited time!
http://dengekiya.com/girls/p/4942330046432/（PC）
http://dengekiya.com/m/girls/p/4942330046432/（Mobile)

[Recommendations!] Need something for the winter? We have you covered with our DGS Hibiki goods – from travel mugs (complete with a selection of teas) to coffee cups to much more!
http://dengekiya.com/girls/280/?aid=twitter (PC）
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Tweets

Murasaki Midori-Sensei (Scarlet Prince, Storm Lover), Mayuzumi Haruta-Sensei (DADADADAN), & Choujin-Sensei (Hana Ori Soushi) – three manga-ka who each made their debut by winning the Sylph Comic Grand Prix. All three will have their respective manga volumes released on the same day. To commemorate this moment, we (Sylph) have planned a special booklet with pieces drawn by prominent figures such as Ruru-Sensei (Hakuouki Jurenka, Arcana Familiar), Udasho-Sensei (BROTHERS CONFLICT), Matsumoto Kazura-Sensei (Hoshikuzuchou no Pan no Mimi), and many other fabulous guest artists. For more details, click on the link ★

; A ; OMFG do want! (DADADADAN AND HANA ORI SOUSHI!? YES PLEASE!) But damn, why does this booklet have to be something you mail in for!? I DON’T LIVE IN JAPAN! JUST RELEASE IT WITH THE FEBUARY SYLPH ISSUE, SYLPH! DON’T BE A HO D8

[Blog Update Notification] Tomorrow is 12/22, which means the February Issue of Sylph will be out! To coincide with the release of its second volume (out this month), the February Issue’s cover and front page will feature [Hakase Ga!] ☆ The cover is full of New Year goodness – don’t miss out! Visit the Sylph Official Blog for more details. Looks like the professor is getting a little TOO into the New Year spirit (^q^) hshs
http://sylph.dengeki.com/?p=1827&preview=true

Oh, hello there! This is Asahina. To the many followers of Sylph, I present to you some BROTHERS CONFLICT spam. Just to let you know, Sylph has a special project in the works for its blog. You all better check it out ★ Well, see you in a few days!

*I’m not sure if I translated this right. I couldn’t find an adequate explanation of what 垢 means. 垢 can mean filth/dirt or getting a big head but I wasn’t sure how that fit in. I thought maybe it was something like “dish out the dirt on” but… o____o

[Site Update Notification] Sorry to send this so late at night! We’ve updated Sylph’s Official Site to showcase the February Issue of Sylph. We’ll have more details come the afternoon so until then, please hold tight. (人´∀｀)

Yeah, like a boss. (▼ﾍ▼)

(Reason why I would risk my young future going shopping a week before Christmas for pajama pants: I was down to only 2 pairs of PJs. My dad’s dog chewed a hole in one of my pants (we’re still trying to figure that one out) and another old pair finally fell apart after many years of service).

I must say, the holidays really do make people…less happy =( It’s shocking how no one was smiling at the mall. Everyone looked tired, cranky, and just…devoid of life. Hopefully some eggnnog with rum will cheer these poor shoppers up. Or at least help them get through another day….

Shopping for PJs was nuts. I didn’t think people would be going rabid over at Old Navy. Toys R Us, yes. But Old Navy? D:

Another reason I went to the mall was to get Christmas lights for the tree. Turns out 2 strings of lights died so we had like nothing to put on our (still crooked) tree. Also, I needed to get my Christmas ornament for the year. Every year, my dad and I each get a Christmas ornament to jazz up our otherwise pathetic tree xD Target wasn’t the ideal place to go shopping for an ornament but I procrastinated and so I didn’t have much option

Going through the Christmas ornament aisle, I have to ask…do people even know wtf Christmas is about? Like, there were hamburger ornaments, lobster ornaments, flamingo ornaments…

(Why a lobster? Why?)

Frigging Shrooms…

Then this weirdness:

No idea wtf is going on but apparently Frosty is blindfolded and has his hands tied behind his back. All S&M and shit. I showed my dad the ornament. His reaction:

Dad: “That’s a bit…pornographic” (ಠ_ಠ)

xD lol whut, dad!?

That random anecdote aside, I did find a cute ornament…that was somewhat Christmas-y…

I got the owl thing because it reminded me of my dad’s dog. He just got the dog a few months ago so I wanted to get the ornament to signify her arrival into our family =)

Here’s a doodle I attempted on my iPhone of her xD

See? They look alike…kinda xD

Before we left, we stopped for frozen yogurt at my insistence/demand. Was a very nice place 8D I got Wedding Cake x Strawberry flavor and drowned my cup in fruit xD

Frozen Yogurt :9 VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

After that yumminess, we worked on the lights ~

Lights ~ VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Manga News:

To those of you who are interested in Shinigami-Hime no Saikon, a scan group has picked it up (link). Power to them for choosing this manga Hope you all enjoy the series when it’s released ~

The end of the year means it’s time for sales! Wouldn’t you all agree? The [DGS~Hibiki Neko Masshigura Hibiki Tins*] are nearing their expiration dates so we’re slashing the price on these beauties!  The sale will last until January. This is a limited time offer so grab them while you can! http://dengekiya.com/girls/p/4942330046432/ #dgs

(*shitty translation: DGS~Hibiki, Run-Straight for ‘Em Hibiki Tins)

Since shipping fees between the two are equal, how about making an order with some BROTHERS CONFLICT and DGS~Hibiki goods!

http://dengekiya.com/girls/323/ （BRO-CON goods）
dengekiya.com/girls/280/ (DGS~Hibiki goods)